Latest hate mail. This one is priceless. It has an actual threat of violence or at least it could be taken that way and it not only admits to the existence of gang stalking and Targeted Individuals but it, in itself is stalking and harassment.
This is an excellent example of taking psychological warfare a step further when the old routines are not working any more.
This is a very interesting timing on this as well. For some reason that post from my Wordpress blog really pissed someone off. I could feel it after publishing it and in the extreme tonight after revisions.
I have felt very threatened all evening actually. Today in Somerville with a friend was hard to deal with as well. Got some small amount of cop harassment but the one that went by saw my camera and got nervous. Didn't happen after that. I had someone with me who asked "What was that all about?"
I can go anywhere I want, anytime I want. What is the problem with Somerville anyway? Why is that so off limits compared to other places? The same thing with Braintree. I get harassed if I spent too long in that Dunkin Donuts right off the Braintree train station.
Also getting alot of brainwashing here in Cambridge. Its very subtle but it seems to consist of making me feel as uncomfortable as possible all the time so that I feel mentally weak. Its a few of the younger guys around here. Alot of the very cool local squatters are gone and there are no travelers right now. Its very much back to just kids floating in and out. In the summer its more travelers of all ages and the same strong core of locals..of varying ages. The core right now is not so great. Its got a little cabal of people who are certainly not travelers.
Plus a young woman with a very strong presence has not been here lately and that has been very damaging for me. In fact there are far too many males and not enough females out here right now come to think of it. Not even the local few older women that were here. As usual I seemed to be being challenged by young men. I have no idea what to make of this as I have never ever understood men and thier motives for most of my life. When I was younger they tried to dominate but I always found them boring so I hung out with older people. Now I find young people of interest mostly due to that being much of the age group on the road and squatting but it helps me as I have no children. It also feels good to protect kids or give the women answers when they ask questions. Recall that when I started my life plan I was going to become a councilor using my own life experience partially to do so.
Even though I am slowly losing a sense of identity that kept me glued together and strong mentally and emotionally against alot of this, but that was all about compartmentalizing much hurt, pain and daily that agony was destroying me. It was being used against me to destroy me over time.
Gang stalking campaigns are extremely vicsous. The perpetrators have one thing in mind- to destroy the target. That is all that is important. By the time you understand what is going on its too late as many people have either written you off completely like you are dead already physically or they wont go near you at all becuz they dont want to deal with you being targeted..or worse they believe all the stories and reject you outright (while politely or quietly) by believing you are merely insane or mentally ill with an actual disorder.
The only proof I have of any of this is my own testimony and little things like the chain of obvious screw overs like the mold situation in my old apartment, a pile of medical bills that went unsent to my insurance even though they are local hospitals and all had my info. It has helped ruin my credit. And of course I can always run down details about my family, ex lovers and associates in my history and reveal information that does NOT sound so crazy. Me confessing everything I know is like handing the Nazi doctors who originated MK Ultra an award for thier work, as MK Ultra style methods have been used over years to get me to finally confess or tell everything I know. From torture and very nasty psychological warfare.
This latest comment is an example of just how bad this can get. Everyone understands I think that I am limited to my activism to express myself as the rest of the world is very very unacceptable of me and extremely nasty. And that the most recent tactics are either to try to finish me off (suicide, acting out and getting institutionalized) or to get me to forget what has happened over the last few years by sheer force or threats.
This comment was left today I believe:
"1 of 1
I just watched your video and you sure look good for a "T.I.". Wish I looked that good after all these years of the bullshit. But then I hear you spout about how you have some "talents" and genetic "superiority" and I laugh my ass off. YOu're not a T.I. honey or you wouldn't be making this blog. GET A GRIP. We SEE THROUGH YOU and are going to nail you to the WALL. By Anonymous on http://targetedsurvivor.blogspot.com/2010/10/boys-... Publish | Spam"
Its a turn around on the victim.
Firstly its interesting becuz part of the torture of the TI is to deny thier situation like as in people commenting that they are crazy, delusional or have made everything up. Validation comes through other Targeted persons or anyone who understands the reality of this situation.
Dealing with the gang stalking system is like being an FBI agent in those movies where you are someone trying to deal with a serial killer who keeps trying to get into your head. In fact that is exactly what the experience is akin to.
Except physical murder is replaced by mental and spiritual and yes, I guess emotional. Knowing that I put all my time into defending myself this would be a logical move. To go after my activism itself something, in fact perhaps the one thing I am successful at.
Whats interesting is that it validates the existence of gang stalking, thus it does the opposite of the other method or tactic of threat which is invalidation of the ordeal itself. This in fact, validates the ordeal but INvalidates the victim personally. BOTH serve to invalidate the victim's personal experience. Both are accusing the victim of thier situation not being real. The first invalidates on the basis of the TI being mentally ill or delusional and the second on them purposely lying about being a victim. The first bases thier threats within the gang stalking perpetrator community and the second bases thier threats within the TI community (one is to assume but it is, of course perps. Either that or very jealous TI's or TI's who have become so driven to true clinical paranoia that they really cant think logically anymore.)
This comment shoots itself in the foot in many ways. There are enough real TI's out there for me to not take this seriously. Plus I have been stirring up the pot lately so people are either nervous or want me back under control, which means horribly depressed and suicidal daily while putting on a happy outward appearance.
But these people who are nervous are the same ones who will be nervous as long as I am still breathing and able to remember anything and sound coherent. There are plenty of people who want me dead. They believe that all they have to do is bide thier time.
A few nights ago, this grey haired older Harvard Cop looked at me as he went by and gave the big stupid fake smile, that is of course a close cousin of 'The Smirk' which every TI gets sensitized to in the very beginning of one of these campaigns.
Another person who knows and believes ultimately in the power of the system to completely crush its enemies. Another person to ignore as if they dont exist nor have any importance. The secret that everybody knows IS that organized stalking and harassment.
As far as mind control goes or programming or the above comment serving any sort of purpose as a trigger, it has indeed done just that. I had to go back into living in some remainder of suicide programming after reading this. Its becuz in order to keep going often, one hides in suicide programming. Since your life has been ruined its over anyway as well as you were supposed to die from suicide programming long ago. So who cares what people think or if the truth gets you labeled or further isolated from society or humanity. None of it matters.
Yer dead anyway you play it so you may as well get revenge and help others in one last ditch effort.
I had been doing well lately healing some. This puts me right back into 'I dont care I am going to die anyway' mode. They will do anything to get the TI under control again.
Lately its been alot of focus on my future or what people think of me. That I should just give up becuz no one is going to believe me anyway or its a wasted effort as the public dont even see that far deeply anyway into anything. That it will guarantee me being an outcast once the whole truth is told.
I was warned in ABQ by a creepy perp in the university library "You'll be very lonely if you tell the truth about what happened" or "You'll spend the rest of life alone.." It was obviously a threat. That has been the intense focus lately. In fact I have felt very threatened lately and especially today and yesterday after that ONMC Wordpress post.
The pressure has become intense. The mental pressure. Its also partially due to only a few people I trust remaining back here right now. I do NOT havee time for at this point in my life especially working under such conditions, as to end my project with my own suicide. There is ALWAYS a time crunch on in my perception. To get it done before something happens to me. Besides, in order to induce confession the system pushes the idea that you are going to die. Its part of the torture.
The person who wrote that hasnt kept up with my story very well. I purposely make comments or material obnoxious or just say as I please now. I WANT my enemies to hear me say that I have more than confidence in myself as well as what I say is true. I had artistic talent that was genetic in being given to me by two different grandparents. I was also very good looking and according to one informant "you could be brilliant". This of course was years ago before the effects of years of torture started to show as it is now due to complications in my health.
I am lucky if I get on book out before I die. That is how desperate this situation is. Brilliant is not quite ever going to be allowed to happen and it just doesnt matter anymore. Revenge is everything now.
Every TI also knows that perps are notoriously inferior to Targets in many ways. That is that perps are lacking in many things but always in something that the TI is very good at. They are usually not attractive and if they are talented they are either sinking and need a boost in thier careers or this activity is what makes thier 'good luck' in business happen to begin with. Perps get 'good luck' and Targets get constant 'bad luck', neither of which is luck at all but interference in events with covert activity. Its that simple.
I have seen these people look at me while I am drawing or doing something else that I suppose shows I am smart or talented and they look like they are cold with terror. Like they were afraid of me or what I could become, if I was not destroyed like they have done.
So I have to assume by THIER actions all along that there is something about me that is a threat. I was told that if I left the US during the heavy gang stalking I would be 'a threat'. Why?
I feel the perps have been arrogant enough so why cant TI's be so? This is the typical games they play when they feel they see the TI is weak and they can close in for the kill.
Many of them are annoyed that I am making something out of being victim in thier estimation, which is more jealousy and nonsense as I have no other choice (other than to give up). So now lets attack that.
Now that I think about it even though if I left I would just be faced with more loneliness I cant deal with the amount of disrespect from rats and this core of jerks out here anymore. Its true all the cool people are gone and there is no one to squat with even. I need to get medical stuff done but these are not people out who have goals like that. And travelers usually get annoyed by local squatters and homebums as they are not organized, they are slow moving even it seems lazy to us, and they dont have that nervous energy. Its no surprise that I usually get along with the drunks who are still young out here. I mean the two most severe alcoholics, one of them a traveler. Probably becuz they have that same nervous energy and they too work very hard to survive on a daily basis.
The inherent laziness of a homebum even young ones will usually annoy the sh*t out of a traveler after a short time. But then a traveler is annoyed by that time anyway from staying in one place too long.
No matter what threats I get I feel I have to keep doing this. Often I think that the system wants me to do it to waste my time or that its to overexpose me so that I finally go mad.
I know that its the use of gang stalking as a behavior modification program. Even just staying within the metro Boston city limits I have experienced more deprogramming. It would be safer to go outside the city limits of Boston or Cambridge. Where am I supposed to go? Even though this place is annoying especially as a traveler who is used to being organized and respectful to survive, its the best and safest bet to get my medical taken care of. I have to get that done no matter what else.
This is the first time I have been stalked and threatened from someone posing as inside the TI community.
The other thing that comment does to discredit itself is- what faction or group, who are TI's, would be that dedicated to going after a false TI? And with such a vengence! It makes no sense...again. 'Nail you to the wall' is interesting. Very much so. The person also is then infering that ANYONE who writes a blog is not a TI. Which goes after every TI who blogs or does activism.
I would love to meet whoever is a real Target who was chasing after people they thought were bogus TI's. Again the threat has to be mobbing or a group which is "we are going to nail you..". We. The message is fear me I am not alone. You however are very alone. That is the idee.