Dejá Vu Movie

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Please be advised that this written work of mine is only THEORY. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. I have no belief in anything posted here because if I did I would have had legal action taken by now-until that occurs this blog can only be considered theorizing.

For years I've had here a disclaimer that says I'm often sleep deprived when posting due to my lifestyle as a houseless Traveler (and my age as well as health issues). This should be taken into consideration when viewing my posts and vids on the connected YouTube channel.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Why the USA can never be safe for TI's and mind control survivors

just watched Law and Order in the lobby of somewhere. I hate all those shows becuz when you are targeted its obvious that the world really doesnt work like that. Those shows push the idea of police being on the side of good. The evil that is portrayed that is..so fascinating to the public, this repetitive formula for indulging in darkness in each episode that the public seems to enjoy these days. You can always tell what drugs a society is taking by the reflection produced in thier entertainment.
These days it reeks of psych meds. Predictable, constrained, dark but not deep or terribly compelling. And something about the dark lighting its shot in that its produced to have that effect upon viewing. I note that movies are now shown in terribly dark lighting.

You have to think of the minds of children for they take in the most of these atmospheres that adults no longer notice. That recent Alice in Wonderland, just as dark lighting as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that Depp was also in. I saw a few scenes from that movie recently. Subliminated within are scenes of a burnt out world, burnt trees where nothing grows. To think from a child's perspective. It seems they are either preparing them for a future as bleak as this, of course that will be engineered as such or they are trying to create a generation that feels that or creates that in their own world. A self fulfilling prophecy.

It seems that the world is quite the downer nowadays and this is in part due to people being on drugs. I grew up in a world with people on drugs and I much prefer the unpredictability and creative expression that was created as opposed to whatever Hell this is we now live in thanks to big pharma. I was too polite before to say it but psych meds have created a world full of zombies. Boring ones. People that dont see what their govt is doing to them and no longer have the strength to fight for themselves. It has ALOT to with psych meds. And the fact that people are so willing to take drugs to fix themselves, that they dont hold this industry in suspicion after going through the 80's onward campaigns of Just Say No! shows brainwashing/mind control has run rampant. The public has taken to biological psychiatry like a pop culture, one created from the trickle down effect of information from supposedly educated people above us who are the gods of knowing what is best for us, what is wrong with us. A parroting of the parent culture. Childishly imitating the grown ups so we too may be good and right like them. Taking the pills they tell us to, so we can be better, be good.

But are we being everything we could be? These pills that are supposed to help us are hindering us in many ways. They help us to function thats all. To work, make money, consume, pay taxes. I suppose I am very critical of such methods for 'fixing' people due to my problems in life being from programming not from chemical imbalances. If only a psychologist had done thier job instead of write things off. All the signs were there, flooding, defensiveness towards a therapist, never being able to find the right therapist. Being in denial about my alter ego's activities should have been a dead giveaway to someone like Dr Emmerich. Instead of her starting to investigate the possibilities of DID she instead handled things very unprofessionally. I think she once asked me if I was still working or dealing with adult entertainment. Of course to protect the alter system and any information I would protect it with my own life, duh thats what programmed people do. A psychiatrist should know this already. Do these people really go to medical school and then get trained as psychologists? A huge part of my problem was a long string of unprofessional therapists and psychiatrists. But that is what gang stalking is about anyway. Keep denying the target the help they need and they will never get out of the internal maze as well as they will surely suicide when its time to 'go'. The way I was treated consistently over the years by therapists is pretty revealing. Not one of these people ever really touched on what was wrong. I was always left with the baggage I came in with and one could sense the bs after relationship in therapy with this person. They are basically handlers for the system and thats all. They hold yer hand through the hurt and effects of programming and do band aid jobs on you each session. Until the true source of the problem is addressed, the Survivor will never be a fully well and functional member of society or even of thier own lives.

She had asked me about my lifestyle, and I think this was when I was in Brighton. Instead of being helpful she played cop which wasnt her damn job. Then she stands up, puts her arms across her chest and says "You dont want to go to jail again, do you Rachael?" I was dumbfounded as I have never been to jail. I wondered if she even knew who she was talking to but then realized a person of Emmerich's status most likely considers me just another stupid piece of white trash she can make money off of by taking advantage of ignorance.

I think I lost track of the records but I could have sworn that on some of my medical bills that were paid by my insurance Dr Emmerich actually charged me with her husbands name as if he provided services. I might have been mistaken but a doctor at McClean's a few years ago said that I need to stay with people that are good, and we were talking about me being totally f*cked over by Dr Emmerich. Even her collegues know how screwed up she is. Its sad becuz at times she was a nice person and was more helpful than many other people in the field I had dealt with. But she often did NOT do her job and I suspect she was in on this local power trip connected to Julie and her influencial crowd.
I sensed often enough that those green eyes were hiding something. That she was a handler or something connected to keeping me in line with being controlled. But the day she stood up and said something so stupid, like going to jail, I knew she had a screw loose herself. The problem with psychiatry especially at places like Mass General, who have a long sordid history of human experimentation and still have ads plastered everywhere for free testing for thier drug trials and studies, is that its very strictly about making money. Get em in, ship em out. We are definately cattle to them. Ive ridden with a few truckers who are hauling cows and its amazing how true it is, the way we are treated like stock.
A person who had actual human tendencies like Emmerich is not shrewd nor inhuman enough to survive these games. She may think she is but all she did was expose how full of shit psychiatry is and how in on these games they really are. Believe me I have met with brutal professionals in on this bs. There is an Indian doctor at the Marino Center, who claims to help cure trauma. He was the meanest bastard I have ever met with. A real sadist, I wondered a serial killer even. He had the nerve of steal I'll tell you. I scared him by displaying my matching intelligence by looking around the back of his office behind him to focus on some books that were there that indicated he had this nasty side to him and he got the point quickly and looked scared. I also messed with him by telling him this is New England not England as he seems to have picked up this very domineering nasty attitude from being schooled in England,where I am sure his father slippered him regularly for not being successful enough, and woe betide the failing Asian from India in a culture like Britain, where no matter how good you are or successful, underneath it all, you are still quietly considered a 'darky'. I'll look him up one day and embarass him publicly, perhaps I'll even make sure the Hindi translation is on that blogger provides, in hopes of it getting to his family. F*cking chute.

Dr Emmerich should have been helping me not playing interrigator. And if she was going to do that why did she not use her expertise in psychiatry to realize she was interrigating someone who was probably DID and working in an alter ego totally disassociated? I thought thats what the diploma's on her walls are for.

The people I went to help for, most doctors throughout my life, many nurses and most therapists or psychiatrists actually did more to cover for this system and do harm than they ever did to help me get out of my situation and grow or succeed as a person.
One day soon, I hope the medical INDUSTRY gets cut down to just what we need instead of producing so many doctors and hospitals that they need perpetuate suffereing and keep people ignorant to make a buck and keep everyone paid so well. Becuz if I ever get any power in this world, I will come after them with every bit of energy left in my cells that still sparks with life to cut them down and erase their profession into something managable. To return them to the craft that they once were, something respectable not based in evil and greed. The insurance companies have helped to create these monsters to begin with.
The staff of Hermes isnt present as a nice symbol on your diploma you bastards. It means something. If you dont know what that is anymore get the f*ck out of the business. And cut down these medical schools and places like Tufts dental that for some reason have the worst and most arrogant student dentists I have ever dealt with. Then again that is recently where everyone is arrogant and a piece of sh*t going through the motions of a career. I had my braces done there and they were very nice. Now they are horrible and impossible perhaps becuz its the dental school and not the orthodontics area. I had to get a professor to relate to concerning what a cavitation was. Its as if the student doctors are school boys who just discovered they have pricks and are fascinated by thier power. Unfortunately the women dont act any better. What kind of corporate evil are they putting into these kids heads in how to deal with patients? I mean cattle. If you dont know what a cavitation is then hand me over the the boss dont make me argue with you. I now have the inability to go to a dentist due to my allergic reactions to everything but still have an infection that seems to come and go in flair up that seems to be still be going up the side of my face and has caused untold damage. The headaches are amazingly painful and I could have had this taken care of before I had allergic reactions induced by Bactrim, but now I put my life at risk with any dental procedure. All becuz even at Tufts there were people making fun of me and messing with me being a target.

The world has been infiltrated by total assholedom posing as some sort of elitist Luciferian culture that will clean up and improve the world. Mass mind control provides the passivity that they need to accomplish thier complete take over of society. Young people are attuned to the idea that everyone is doing it. Everyone is fooling everyone else and no one is genuine. Its really sick. You have an entire generation of scum who know how to hide behind social acceptablity. How did we give birth to a world of total sociopaths? Mind control probably, programming, stuff in thier innoculations when they are babies- I dont frickin know. I am however very suspect of the effects of technology as well as psych meds these kids get put on per just being kids nowadays.

I think we have more to worry about from the effects of human children being raised from birth as tech 'natives'. I think you will see the full effects of this far too late. Its interesting that Gen X was fast realizing that raising children with minimal tv time or introducing tv only after a later age, after kids got a true sense of reality from thier senses not from pre recorded light and sound images: dead time. Its interesting that from Bush coming in and things blowing up and us going to war and then the domestic war on the American public as well, that all this trying to do good, to bring back a balance has now been totally abandoned and replaced by a society that is totally plugged in at all times with a very UNgreen obsession of disposing of the latest gadget to get the newest gadget.

This is yet another indication that Bush was pushing through an agenda not just acting according to random happenstance. And many of us will not rest until that is accepted as at least an acceptable possible conspiracy. The problem with today is that such ideas are not accepted as an option to the official story, they are blatantly crushed and thrown away as the work of unpatriotic Americans who are assisting terrorists by seeking the truth. More bs.

The beauty of their plan is that its been so many years now and the old guard is gone, the 90's and Gen X, we the dreaded kids of The Kids from the 60's who trained us to rebel as part of our very nature, has basically been blown out of existence by the Bush era and all the events past. It was like reseting a clock by force. Reseting time. Actually it is one big violent behavior modification program to get America in line with what its authorities want. And they succeeded unfortunately. The problem with this is that its like a drain in a tub. The center is here in the USA of this sucking down the whole world and we see this now all around the globe. Leaving the USA is not going to stop the process. The beginning of this nonsense is here and it must be plugged up and stopped HERE. People have been protesting around the world as violently if not moreso than American did against Bush's actions and still people are getting ignored and the powers that be just keep pushing through thier agenda no matter what people say or do.

THE AUTHORITIES NOW HAVE THE POWER OF MASS MIND CONTROL, NON LETHAL WEAPONDRY, CHEMICAL INFLUENCE AND WORLD WIDE PSYCHOLOGICAL OPERATIONS TO MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO RESIST A 'NEW WORLD ORDER' IF YOU WILL. Forget the symbols and the paranoia about the Masons or Illuminati. Unless you hail from some sort of connection to an arm of the ancient brotherhoods, you are going to just be misinformed anyway. Its not important to take in every symbol or the fact that Masonic symbolism is always present.
That is not what is doing harm.

Think back to the story of Osiris, Seth and Isis. Think of this as three kinds of Masonic 'brotherhoods'. One rules with goodwill to man in mind and the other is the lord of chaos and darkness. Just becuz the Illuminati utilize Masonic symbolism doesnt mean that the symbols themselves are the problem. Symbols are nothing without man wielding them. Its HOW you use them. And we have to look very carefully at who is presenting such symbols to the public, who is causing chaos, who is causing chaos to create order as to suffocate Man's right to exist freely. To enslave mankind is the work of an anti human lord of darker forces not just any member of the ancient sun cults or cults of Ra.

The problem is not the Masons or symbolism or even Luciferianism, its the enslavement of mankind.

All these things might be fronts. Not all Luciferians want to destroy humanity. I am sure that hte angel of light gets disgusted with mankind all the time. Humans are stupid, weak, slow, easily trained, easily enslaved and fooled. They make better slaves than enlightened beings. However, there are many humans that do NOT like living this way. They are unhappy and its unhealthy for them. For them there should be an alternative to this total enslavement of mankind and anyone who does not conform gets targeted and sliced down with psycho surgery until they do fit in.

When I was in St Louis I experienced the worst abuse, the worst torture of any place I ever got gang stalked. I saw things so what you would call 'evil' that no one is going to believe me. They are very overt there and dont care who sees what they are doing. I discovered that there is indeed still the existence of Seth's people in or world. And they make it their business to cause chaos and the do it professionally. I didnt know at the time that Aquino had such influence there. I was foolish and unprepared and the military or satanic military or whoever this is had the advantage. I was lucky to get out alive actually and I dont make dramatic statements like that usually. I'm pretty arrogant about how protected I am usually or how my own small amount of Satanic programming seems to prime me for horrors and makes me shrug them off as simply the normal behavior of such factions. Satanists will be satanists. But this place was truly a representation of a hellish place. I hate using Hell as I just dont believe it exists, or I am so trained to have that as a small part of my psyche anyway that it seems to dramatic and childish- 'Hell'. Its so silly really.

Unpleasant and torturous, destructive to human life and spirit is the best description. When I was there I think I can safely say I saw not only the world that is planned for us but I experienced just how far they have come with their ability to create false realities using physical spaces. It was horrible. It seems like what I experienced was a world of total human interface with technology. That torture was going to be used to slowly change mankind into something that was 'illuminated' and create peace, but under madness. A world where a constant bit of daily madness and torture created a compliant peaceful population. An actual mathematical system, a creation of Hell through math, science and technology that was to be fitted over our existing physical reality like a net or web over it. This would alter our world without every doing anything physically to change it. They are changing the spiritual aspects and the electromagnetic aspects..they are altering things we cant see and being westerners, hardly have a grasp on to begin with. We are so trained into religion that we dont even know what spirit is. Perhaps people do who understand it naturally in a primitive sense but its not realized in our world conshusly.

In this world the system of control would know everything you are thinking, and you'd be connected to everyone else at all times. The population would be controlled by a slow drip like exposure to torture and madness that would serve to keep them traumatized, so as to produce a peaceful existence constantly. It was as if the constant torture is what created the illumination. Of course this eventual maintenance of mankind would be created only after a great amount of trauma had been done to humanity to damage them to the point of being caught up in the system effectively.

One very sick moment before I was shown this, was a perp at this location where this happened, stated that beating up the coffee pot was making it work. He said "see all it needed was a little kick in the ass, a little love to make it work". It was made obvious that this was what was being done to me through all this torture and terror. More brainwashing to make me believe that violently destroying me in this way was a good way to deprogram me.

I recently recieved a comment from a YouTuber who wrote that the perps were not enemies they were friends and that I had weaknesses being wiped away day by day from these experiences. I get this occasionally and of course this ties into what I was told and shown in the above scenerio in St Louis.
In other words if this was my imagination or if I am making this up or its schizophrenia then why are perps writing me validating this to be true?

I am only writing this to warn the public that they are being deceived and perhaps the plans for humanity are not what they seem. In an honest campaign for a better more peaceful world, sneaky tactics of power and control using abuse like mind control technology as well as other mechanisms would NOT have to be used to accomplish such goals.
Believe me, part of me understand what they are going for and why they want to accomplish this. But another part of me does not believe that people should have to live like that just becuz leaders are greedy self serving bastards who live for thier covering up thier inability to rule correctly. If you dont want overpopulation then discourage births and start managing famine areas logically. Get rid of corruption and Christian organizations who make more starving children. Get yer shit together end of story. But that seems impossible really. The whole world is just behaving as Rome did towards the end.

I highly suspect this is madness. This madness is most likely caused by us polluting ourselves to death as they had done over time. And creating electromagnetic and technological hells to further torture our psyches along with our bodies being slowly poisoned to death.

I dont know what I saw that day but it seems very much like what is going on now with normalizing torture as part of life. Actually this is a return to the old days where wife beating, child murder and other violence was a normal part of daily life for humans. The problem is that everyone is supposed to know better now. Its not hidden in the closet anymore, people are being trained to accept these animal behaviors of man and to ignore what they know is harmful. There is probably some sick theory that it will strengthen us, like was done to me in the name of their sick 'love' for me as I was told that day.

I dont feel loved I feel unhealthy, overweight, sickly, worn out, tired, aching, in emotional and mental agony every day. The continued effects of the mold exposure are often a living hell in itself where there is a sensation of burning in the mind or the brain, in the nerves of the body themselves. And all this had to be accompanied with torture from psychological warfare and mobbing by the public. Why? Why was this so important? Why must I be subjected to torture with the excuses used that I deserved it (as said to me by a rich Jewish brat on his way to a Barmitzvah in Kenmore)?

I think that this whole scapegoat routine is what Satanists and Jews have in common with getting little Jesus victims for themselves. Its what they do. Its common knowledge that Jews no only used to perform human sacrifices on their own children but that they have engaged in ritual sacrifices of non Jewish humans for thier own purposes. It does not surprise me that many victims of 'mysterious' possessions have been Catholic and female. Emily Rose was a most pathetic example. I believe that the church knows what is going on and lets these people die to also be in on some ritual that they believe will cleanse thier sins. Emily Rose claimed that she had to suffer and die for the sins of the Catholic priests, of what nature we can guess I am sure, and sure enough her Catholic priest assisting her let her die. Within the Catholic faith there is at its core the potential for such self serving selfishness that one has to always be very careful of this being a trap. I have seen this first hand from being from Catholics though I was never baptized. There is an almost orgiastic, erotic like experience from suffering and 'eating' the body of the sacrifice, which would be the same thing as assisting them while they die in such a manner. The peversity of the Catholic faith can be traced back to Rome and being from a family line located right outside Rome I pretty much get what its about.

Catholicism is great for wonderful works of art, and expressions of selfless, spiritual love. And of any connection we may have had to a strong female deity through Mary. I think many women ignore that shes supposed to be a virgin. That is for the men and whatever kinds of women go along with such nonsense. Many Catholic women go along with Mary superficially but privately, especially among ourselves its understood that she is the missing mother diety and she is most likely just as much of a real woman as any of us. She probably had dirt she just hid from Joseph and its nobodies business anyway. The Virgin role is a polar opposite of whore which of course turns men on in some way so keeps Mary's image alive for generations, as well as simply the symbolism of a good queen, like Elizabeth I painting her face white after feeling trapped in her role as such. Perhaps she felt guilty on some level about outing Mary after her sister begged her not to on her death bed, I havent read enough about her to know.
In that, women FINALLY get the damn privacy we desperately need but are totally denied in the modern world. I think in pagan times and I know documented TRUE evolved democracies like ancient Greece, women were encouraged to really bond at a young age and have a private world unto themselves that the carried with them life long. America can give women all the male priveledge it wants. What it does NOT give women is breathing space. Spiritual breathing space for the female spirit to exist. Still we wonder through thier world, trying to find a place for ourselves. For many Catholic women, the concept of Mary provides an actual spot within the mind, the soul that is akin to the old Diana temples where women were truly among thier own. And only other women understand where this place within is and only other women are welcome. I do not know how women survive in Judaic cultures or Christian cultures where either God or Jesus is the predominant player. Its sounds and looks horrible. Its so...blemished.

Catholicism also seems to create people who actually take action against things that need to be fixed in this world. It also creates a great amount of enslaved peoples world wide as well. Catholicism is something that confuses even me. I am too connected to it from being exposed growing up but not immersed in it due to not being baptized thus being kept out of it. It seems once again too much of a prison for me to ever be faithful to and much of it is based on such made up things it cant possibly be something I could deal with. My grandfather, as a former Lutheran, described it to me as the Catholic faith asks you to believe things that are untrue but to have 'faith' is to believe such things anyway. This would fit in with the mentality of a dysfunctional family that never admitted to the truth due to thier love for 'the family'.

If anyone thinks that torturing me enough is going to cancel out my anger and upset over injustice you are dead wrong. I stick with my internal programming. This system of interference from the outside insisted on trying to alter me and its not going to work. They triggered both sides of my programming and have destroyed much of who I was, my memories and everything outside the two basic programming systems. Now I am being forced to choose between sinking into full blown hate and Satanic content or to forget it all and chose to embrace the opposite effect which is to stop criticizing and forget what has been done to me etc etc.

Why cant you just accept that people are abused in society? Very severely so? Why cant you accept that angry women are valid in thier feelings? And that we have a right to be angry. How is it any of society's business anyway? America hates me becuz I am thier Jew/Roman Italian/Native American looking dark haired, dark eyed, witty, pushy aggressive bitch who loves hard and hates hard. In any country where dark haired light skinned people existed, I would have been embraced and celebrated by now. I probably am but dont know it (lol). And you cant accept that I am half as wise as I seem as the rest of the time I am obliviously stupid, a child or a fool. This is perfectly normal for people with many sides to thier personalities. You wanted to spy and be nosy well now you got your answers. You just dont like what you found out so you have to back up out of the drive way as fast as you can and deny what you saw every step of the damn way. Did you honestly think that I would have been put in such a comprimising position as I was put in during the Bush years had there not been extreme circumstances beyond my control? No one really knows me well enough to understand what I am like as a person. The people that did know me to a point are all the ones who are keeping thier silence due to taking full advantage of knowing what I am like and using that to keep thier conspiracy a secret. The people who knew me best are the ones who refuse to testify on my behalf, which is another trick of the system. Compromise the people closest to the Target who could defend her as character witnesses and we can sick perps on her and smear her out of existence and say what we like about her.

Perps are people who are hyper critical assholes, usually cant face their own shit and are in the habit of being part of a group that breaks the law and denies people thier civil and human rights without regard for the laws of the US. They are utilized by people within the US who need to destroy victim witnesses its THAT simple. I dont care what the Cause stalkers say. The Christians and the gang members who are now so brainwashed they beleive the Bloods are doing good works. This is why law and order exists. To ensure such abuses dont exist. My problem is that I am up against a faction that has alot of power over law and order in the US so I am denied that right or perhaps this faction is keeping me down so I can seek justice and excersise those rights.

Either way the criticisms of the public and gossiping perps is totally invalid. You can disbelieve my more bizarre experiences if you like as well as my claims to being programmed. But I am not lying about the various abuses during that federal investigation. we are talking about cops so nasty that they were throwing Maltov cocktails at other cops houses to keep them quiet and had taken these cops on as business partners due to them agreeing to having their families harmed if they testified if ever there was any 'problems'. We are talking about a system of corruption that went into the Boston FBI office, which being from here, was just the way the system works here. They can try to crack this system all they want. As long as common people support the way things are so they can have connections and an easier life, the real law enforcement types doing thier jobs are going to have a hell of a time prying them away from thier blessed corrupt system. Thats right- the American public keeps this system in place. They prefer it that way. I think nowadays that system just outnumbers the real feds and agents that are trying to do their jobs. Its hopeless. THE AMERICAN PEOPLE SUPPORT ORGANIZED CRIME. And especially people that get jobs in fire, police, city, train, bus etc. There's no way of stopping it.

So to say I am lying about Dr Emmerich is total bs. What motive would I have? I want revenge for being destroyed not to cover my ass for being exposed as whatever. THAT I could deal with, I would have just moved to Europe or whatever. THIS however is totally outrageous and proves that the USA is under control of criminals and not government or that govt is infiltrated by criminals and its basically a done deal.

Dr Emmerich, that blonde shrink at McCleans, staff at Mass General and many other professionals were part of a very nasty conspiracy to try to get me labeled so my testimony against the bitch Julie wouldnt mean anything as well as try to frame me up at the same time as being responsible for Jake's drug habits and dealings. I was told they were going to set me up for robbing a bank but someone out there put thier foot down and prevented that.
(I am getting kept an eye on at MIT here. People keep peeking around the corner to see if I am still sitting here. Its a tactic that is done sometimes and they think I cant see that. Paripheral vision people. And they know that becuz in AZ they basically tested me to see just how much I used my peripheral vision when I function in normal daily life and they know damn well I can see out of the corner of my eyes pretty well so they use it to mess with me. In psy warfare you have to know what your Target's weaknesses are).

I was abused very severely and have been so for years on end. There is now way I am lying about what went on during the federal investigation. I believe that who ever is behind this felt it would make great entertainment. Once again one wonders about the Jew connections. Brookline, the medical field and the way that Nicole Simpson's hebe lawyer was obviously torturing her and then filming it and saying that "this is worth so much money". Lets not say all Jews. But thier organized crime has been in long time operation with the Italians. Which I have experienced in Waltham as a heavy presence connected to Waltham police who seems to hate my guts and want to see me dead. Well screw you as well and by the way any chance I get yer gonna get yers. My mother seems to have no problems existing in Waltham. I think one of my cousins is on the force or something. Screw my family. Both sides want to get rid of me. Danny's brains and Betty's balls makes me one big problem for both of these selfish bastards. My dads family doesnt want me walking around and lots of people seem to be helping my mother's side to keep me down. Anything to protect the most screwed up people in society instead of the actual good people. I should accept that my mother's family are just sleazy enough to be in on a plot of evil design with the cops and my old career criminal friends to get rid of me in one big campaign. The total arrogance of the cops is most infuriating. They act like they can just do whatever they want. What makes it so personal is that they are supporting my mother, my father's family and my enemies from my old friends to my old lover. Which makes this so much more than business. It also makes it much worse that many cops thought this was some sort of f*ckin joke. Some bimbo they can just handle and laugh at. And the community in Boston still agrees with that. Covers for them.

F*ck Boston and thier allegiances to Julie and my mother's family. You chose to be thier allies instead of do your job. Fine. You better pray that people continue to NOT listen to me and that I am singled out and ignored. You better hope you chose the winners. Isnt that what you assholes thought? You arrogant pricks in law enforcement like that fat Statie? Laughing at me that I have to make my life seem meaningful becuz I am such a nothing.

You are just as stupid as my family then. Sorry I thought being part of a career in the sciences you would be smarter but yer just overeducated criminals. You really do NOT understand that there are other forces out there in the world that ace and trump the power of the mere physical world every time. You honestly thought you knew what you were looking at. That things are what they seem. See what happens when you are an idiot who solely lives in and for the material world their whole lives? Hahaha. All this time I thought I was dealing with some pretty crafty Satanic factions but I see that I am dealing with mere bodies that just act on behalf of the truly evil factions higher up. I really thought that all these people were sophisticated enough to understand what was going on fully. They have no f*ckin idea! They are merely working off of the ape like mobbing instinct and this is manipulated into existence by the true players from upper echelons. I guess I was pretty confused. Extreme psychological abuse will do that to you.

All America understands is violence and fighting. They are so arrogant here that they never consider any other forms of power in existence. That America can do what it wants to the world or to its own citizens.

I distinctly recall being perped very early on in this on a bus in Waltham. This group of very thug looking white men, real regular guys, were doing directed conversation and it was about how (women in adult entertainment) have no power. They kept pushing the idea that basically this was being done becuz I had no power. And also I recall that Waltham cab driver knew that Scott was abusing me and he commented "Oh that? That'll be over soon." A few sentences later he says "Oh well it doesnt pay to be poor".

This is all cover story bs used to cover up for an agency a hell of alot bigger than cops and thier cab driver shills and various organized crime jerks doing this. This was done by CIA who had carte blanche to torture someone like me if I was under suspicion either on a terrorist list or just becuz I was programmed. Its also a continuation of human experimentation becuz once I left MA that is exactly what I experienced and some in MA as well but not as overt as gassing me on a damn bus and toying with my programming then gassing me back to conshusness then mocking me. That is only something that occurs in places like the southwest which is so obviously military territory. Duh.

I will not soon forget either at Mass General that the woman at the desk antogonized me into being MORE upset than I already was and when I raised my voice to her two big n*ggers came out put gloves on and dragged me into a room and had me strapped down. I will get you for that if it takes me selling my soul to whatever entity I have to to see someone bleed for that one. You let two large black men handle me. You let blacks take me into a room. Basically as a white woman you allowed me to feel raped by blacks. I dont blame White Supremecy groups for offering me assistance. They probably saw the video tape of that, which I was told local perps SOLD FOR MONEY from the hospital, and they probably vomited, being healthy white supremists and all, at the sight of such submission to blacks in a time of extreme terror. And you wonder what keeps me going. Someone out there deserves to burn for that one. I can live with continued battle for everything else that happened, but to throw me to the blacks was bad enough with they being so numerous in gang stalking groups, but to have me handled that way, in my own hometown, in a hospital where I was told to check into by Doctor Emmerich who called ahead and told them about me being upset.

You will pay for that scene. I hope you made money off of that and I hope you copied it and sent it away and made it a fucking virus becuz I am going to make it so whoever watches that their f*cking eyes bleed. I want that video to become the next damn Ringu. Watch and die. If you have that power, ask of me what you will and I will pay you. Just damn everyone for that one insident. I cannot think of a worse moment than that one. And whites stood by and joined in. The guy who came to the room where they strapped me down sat there and tried to blame it all one me being Italian that we are noisy and they in the hospital were not used to noise, all these mind games. There was a tactic in use where when I talked with my hands they would look at me as if I was dangerous for doing so. They would look at my hands while I was talking and focus on my hands being animated and act scared.

Julie did this towards the end as well. She would act scared of me around Collin her son. I commented once that he was so cute I was going to take him away one of these days out for a day. She play acted like this was a threat or she was scared of what I said. It was so obvious after years of knowing this rotten bitch that she was trying to get rid of me, buying houses and all and moving up in the world. She probably had moved up to black mail or something sleazy knowing Shelton her shit drunk husband, and wanted to lighten her load.

You know I could have dealt with mere abondenment or being shunned by one of my contacts. But to be betrayed by Jake, Julie AND my own mother at the same time as well as fighting to sue the landlords of that apartment and being mold sick. And then being tortured and experimented on. And people KNEW. They all knew, they saw and they went along with it. This is the country that wants to police the world. This is what wants to run the world. Scum like that.

As long as the US believes they can do things like this to 'powerless' people (when in fact they are just taking advantage of someone they have kept powerless the whole time anyway, as well as the fact they knew I was compartmentalized and programmed so could take that sort of abuse and survive. So the abused me further and it could even have been part of military human experimentation to see just how much abuse a programmed person could take before suiciding. And everyone KNEW and they sold me out anyway.) then its not safe nor is it worth staying here.

The USA has never given me anything but abuse and strife. If I cant cause as much trouble as possible here and get revenge or justice then perhaps living abroad other countries will want to hear about the horrors I had to live through.

And they will be especially sympathetic once they realize that I genuinely only wanted to become a councillor and help people.

I wonder if the Satanic factions in other countries in on this arent trying to actually do me a favor by waking me up to how evil and infiltrated America is by certain factions that now run this country. I wonder if thier point was to destroy me or if they are trying to protect someone they see as partially thiers due to what little Satanic programming I do have and the fact there are Satanic factions that hate the influence of..ahem certain groups on American culture.

Perhaps the snake is more fair after all. As long as that snake hails from a country that is independent and doesnt allow certain factions to overun its culture. That destroys threats to its heritage and land on contact, and with prejudice.

Why should I believe in America's justice system? I am basically treated like if I went to a lawyer I would be ignored per usual just as I have been ignored for years now. Just like when I asked for help in the beginning people just handled me for this system as or made excuses for it like this scum bag lawyer in RI who kept intimating that I was on drugs in my apartment which is why I deserved this. Even if that was true there is nothing that can validate extreme torture and sadistic treatment as well as the total disregard of human and civil rights abuses.

These assholes werent scared of this system they were totally jizzing themselves that they found the perfect victim. And probably made a million off of the years of victimization.

So the public will NEVER help victims of programming or MK Ultra or human experimentation. We know that now. How do I know that? Becuz each time the powerful factions responsible for such actions comes for one of its victims, instead of protecting the person, they make excuses or laugh at them or help bully them or go along with it. THAT is why all the Presidential Advisory Committees in the world are useless. The American public stands by these programs whether they know what the root source is or not. They choose to continue thier ignorance.

In doing this, they continue to support these actions. Thus the United States of America is an enemy to every person who is a victim of human experimentation. This also why no medical professional, scientist , medical institution or acedemic institution has been held liable by international law for war crimes or laws against human atrocities such as that Nazi war criminals were tried for.
There is more than enough information available on the internet and Targets naively keep believing the American public are just scared or ignorant of the problem. They choose to continue to co sign these actions.

All of this culminates into the definition of a very unsafe place for Survivors of mind control, human experimentation as well as victims of torture programs and even Targeted Individuals. Its over. There is no hope for us in the USA. It is a country that stands by these abuses with the same ignorance, and lack of care they stand by tortures at Gitmo and other prisons. The USA is never going to give us justice and its never going to stop the tortures from occuring.

Its time to leave. This place will never change and I have been abused all my life by America and during Bush I saw an entire nation go along with gross human rights abuses but worse than that many citizens do so with a sense of amusement or a sense of righteousness in these activities. That they feel they have that right.
This country should be labeled a hot bed of warcrimes and human rights abuses that are covered up by medical professionals. This place is no better than the USSR using punative psychiatry to silence dissidents. That is exactly what they are doing and I am sick of it.

The people in this country believe I am too poor, too damaged and too weak to leave and stop being an American. Just f*ckin watch me. And when I get wherever I end up I will start the greatest campaing against this country and its people not based on blind hatred or petty terrorism for vague reasons of religious belief. But for a proven and long documented history of terror and abuse for profit and a sense of superiority. Its proven time and time again that the USA does not practice what it preaches.

You think I am too weak to get out? Go for it. See what happens. I am sick of being mistreated in this country. And whats worse people think its amusing. That is how sick this place is. Yer all totally f*cked and I want nothing more to do with a country that is based on total fantasy yet rooted in genocide and slavery, who still cannot live without slavery and human rights abuses to create a good life for its citizens.

I highly doubt if a 'powerless' joke like myself is going to get any justice here. I will probably be treated the with the same arrogance as I was treated when I went for disabiility and the judge did nothing but put me down and try to play games of superiority with me. So of course I put the f*cker in his place.

Let me tell you somehting about powerful men in suits. Those grey haired arrogant bastards that everyone fears and bows down to. In the adult entertainment industry you learn one thing real fast.
They're all pink on the inside.

Under the illusions that great archetecture creates, that business suits create, they are far too human. If you knew the weaknesses of the 'great men' running you world you'd jump ship as well.

There was no way I was going to let that judge disrespect me like that, when I was changing my life becuz HIS society was telling me thats what I should do to better myself. See how they are? They dont respect honest people who want to be better people. They respect corrupt power, money, crime and shrewed cold hearted materialism. They preach to you and then when you consider doing what they tell you to be what they want you to be, then they get arrogant and play power games anyway.

Fuck this place totally and completely. The men who run this disgusting place wont be satisfied until every woman entering her 30's is as spiritually vacant, hard and evil as they are. Why dont they just all get a room becuz obviously they dont appreciate women in the USA. They want women who are just guys like them who have tits they can f*ck.

Im outta here. Unless youve got a million dollars in restitution and a swift death for my enemies you got nothing I want.

By the way I am very hip to the trick of this system to try to make me seem like some potential tyrant or spoiled brat who needs to be tamed etc. Thus now their asses are again covered when I finally let loose as i just did.

This system plays a person like me 10 chess moves ahead so when I finally play they have already planned how my moves affect the game.
Not gonna fall for it. Just another tactic to ensure that I stay here and forget and move on.

I have more than a right to be angry. This is the result that you get when you keep someone down long enough that has alot of power to express or to give to society. And then on top of keeping them down all thier lives you then TORTURE THEM? What was done to me is totally outrageous and the only option this system and this country has is to play me thier way in hopes I will conform to the moves they predict I will make and then control my reactions as best as they can through more psychological manipulations. Can you imagine me actually forgetting about what was done to me and never getting justice or 'forgiving' people? (giving up and giving in). Its all part of behavior modification to silence a victim witness throughout the person's normal reactions.

What happened to me I believe happens to way too many women and men also and shouldnt be happening at all, and at least they could have the sanity to acknowledge it. That is the biggest insult of all. Its totally unbelievable.

Just keep thinking USSR. Keep repeating "I live in Russia, I live in the USSR of the 80"s" and that should snap you back into reality becuz they are GOING to try to brainwash you back into accepting you situation.

Recall what that informant/perp said to me in McCleans ( this was during the height of the harassment and I simply collapsed due to stress, overwork and being mold sick I needed a rest). She said "THEY are mad at you becuz you arent accepting you situation."
So they way that they make you accept your situation is by constantly brainwashing you into being complacent about your circumstances and situation.

One last thing. Did I ever mention that scum bag Howie from NA gave me a book about Hitler once? He gave me this psychological profile done by some intelligence agency. It was late 90's. He stood there and it creeped me out, looking back he was telling me basically that I was of this same profile and that I would suicide. The sick fuck pedophiles in NA like hugger Mark and Don the awning maker in Watertown, they all knew. They KNEW what I was, they KNEW what my future held. Only Don had the decency to warn me to try to keep me alive and he would have only been able to do that had he known I was programmed. They frickin' KNEW. Well that explains why I got treated sh*t with snobby behavior by most of NA for years and why the second Jake came into the fold they picked him up and used him against me as soon as possible. I was so creeped out when all the people I couldn't stand in NA embraced him when he came in there. I just knew something bad was going to come of that. I just thought he had more strength than that.

Don most likely helped me due to the fact that many pedo's often help save kids as well. Its the best they can do under the circumstances I guess.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That's so scary, what the perps told you -- that the perps were your "friends". I had one student who was in on this, and both he and his mom were my designated "babysitters" who would be set up to greet me as I arrived on campus. They were both informants, and I told him about the stalking via vehicle, and how odd it was they were smirking at me. His response to the smirking statement was "Maybe they're just friends". Interesting how I also told him about their monitoring of me, and they were friends despite watching, monitoring, smirking. One kid here knew immediately what was up, and told me "They're just a bunch of jerks with nothing better to do with their lives". Also he said they were grown adults who won't act like it. That was an interesting statement, as I never told him they were doing anything wrong. Just that I kept seeing the same people in vehicles repetitively and who were on some sort of watch duty.

I'll never forget that statement, they were my friends. Interesting that people who are complete strangers who are stalking me are friends. He also tried to get into my head about the "parking lights during the daytime" tactic. Just last night, there was a person or couple in one of the types of vehicles gangstalkers love to drive (bigger, unmarked police car types), who turned his headlights off as he drove towards me, leaving the parking lights on as he drove in the darkness. He then turns his headlights on as he turned into the street he lived on. A tactic, I recognize, to make me feel guilty or afraid. Probably a "friend" of mine.