If I could be left alone for a day or a while I could write my book. It would include the interesting (and Romantic..no, not gushy love story stuff but Romanticism which this system seems to hate also) fact that the sun sets in Mexico here. I am staying at this place like right at the border. Juarez is like right across the highway. I can see it out my window where I sleep.
First of all : I love you guys. (ewww!) but thanks for always staying with this. And someone new has commented that I mentioned suicide a couple of times...I get that way. It is not only part of what the perps want for all TI's (forced suicide) I happen to be a survivor of what I believe to be by all that has happened trauma based mind control programming. My case is a text book one (if there was one). So suicide is a natural 'state' for me to go into or to end this sequence with. Its very ritualistic. And its mostly based on the fact that I have failed alot of what I am supposed to be about. Programming is very very cold. There is no feeling only commands...and there are no options out of it.
The perps know this and its the very reason I am stalked and harassed. It is obvious to me that I am being pushed due to thier controlling and sick system full of sick and controlling people that if I do not suicide I will respond or be shaped by the obvious behavior modification program I am in.
The main point of this is to aviod me remembering things..recovering memories. I was told by a psychologist in on it years ago when I was deprogramming NOT to go to a hypnotist becuz that would (heavy Russian accent) "Dat wud brink up much memery for yoo". The next session she told me that her diagnoses of me was that I was beautiful and lazy. (bitch).\
After the way I have been abandoned, toyed with and harassed and betrayed its more natural for me to be sad and suicidal. The fact I was what I was made it so they could torture me longer than most people.
I am often systematically shamed and humiliated. My internal systems are sensing that I cannot get anything done that needs to be done so there is a natural urge for the system to shut down ( suicide) simply out of practicality. I was obviously trained that my feelings mean nothing in the light of the mission or what needs to be accomplished. This is why the perps have to get to me personally and my emotions. ( All I am being told to do is write a book. Originally I wanted to reprogram myself to use my life experience to be a coucillor and help people. Since I am not allowed to do that Or anything but suffer for that matter, I go into a sequence where I want to let the world know what is going on and then just leave. Its only practical.)
For what I have been through and for the way I am held prisoner I percieve the world as not ever allowing me to exist or be a Self of my design I then always go to the plan that seems to avoid enslavement which is ..suicide. It is the final statement to tell this system that they cannot dictate to people how and what they should be. It is neither Satanic nor Godly. It is simply Mans right to define his own outcomes according to his own Will and a right to his/her primitive energies and the use of them.
We are coming into an era that seem to want to make everything NON THREATENING and devoid of True Power.
I believe it is becuz that way nothing is a threat to the enslavement system in itself. Like I have said before I would rather do overt battle than this crap they do to TI's. WHY? Becuz that wouuld let you know you are alive. There would be acknowledgement of the reality that it was truly happening.
What they do to TI's is brainwashing and its to make sure you stay powerless as a person. Therefore its only natural that, being denied my natural powers as human being via DNA or otherwise, I would rebel with ending my life. You simply cannot keep some people down...and if you try they will just leave thier bodies.
So its always an option and its something Man has a right to. THE VERY FACT THAT OUR SOCIETY DOES NOT ALLOW RIGHT TO ENDING ONES LIFE SHOWS THAT THEY ARE OBSESSED WITH CONTROLLING PEOPLE AND THE OUTCOME OF THEIR LIVES.
If suicide is what the perps want then turn it around on them. Dont be some unnoticed new story...and DONT go into a public place and start blowing people away. You'd have to be pushed pretty hard to complete suicide. And they want you to do that THIER WAY. They want you silently out of the way. F*ck them.
Make it known that if you go that far that it is for the purpose of giving a final high middle finger to thier controlling system of organized stalking, harassment and brain washing. And guess what?? When you have ideations of suicide and you frame them that way..you end up coming out fighting again moreso than wanting to go right away.
Do you see how you can co opt thier desired outcomes? I am not saying go suicide, I am saying its your right to not want to be tortured and controlled and use it to show you have power over your own life. If you die in silence THEY WIN.
In this way I suppose I use suicide as a p.o.w would use a cianyde pill. Fair enough. That is MY choice and that is the way I AM. It is always something I will have as a back up plan if I am continually beaten down and kept down.
And I dont want to hear whining that I advocate suicide becuz these are special circumstances where Targets are being tortured..just the gang stalking and the betrayals are enough, much less the rest of it. And we have to watch the rest of the world go by all happy and sh*t which is probably the worst part of this. Yer not gonna keep me a prisoner for life. And my programming wont allow it anyway.