El Paso..well finally the real harassment started

Sooner or later it was going to happen. Cops, weirdos...the works. Sometimes I think they wait a few days to get you into a false sense of security so when they do start up again its somewhat devistating.

I am going to start putting my daily recordings up here becuz I have too much info as it is and its going no where.

What blows my mind about all this is how alone I am. How I have been not only totally abandoned but systematically ignored throughout this ordeal. I still cannot believe that the entire population would behave this way..and I am right. Its just that I am being isolated and abused so as not to let me out so I can get the word out or the story out.

If I were to do that, I would at least be able to reach some people who might be able to use this info or care about my story.

The most aggrevating thing about covert organized stalking and harassment is that the system defines you and no one ever really knows who you are as a person. All your potential is destroyed. Then if you act out, you are judged by how insane or crazed you are from being traumatized.

I feel I probably waited too long to tell my story. The damage has been done now and I know that no one cares...that all my potential has been reduced so greatly that I can never be what I wanted to be. My mother used to tell me that when I was little ...that " You'll never find what you are looking for in life and you'll never be what you want to be." This system seems to be making sure that people born into it keeps true to those words.
The only problem is that the gang stalking system wants you to actually LIVE that way. They want you to accept your situation..remember a perp said that to me. "They are mad at you becuz you are not accepting your situation." Nor will I ever live with what has been done to me.

No one is listening and no one cares and I cant be left alone for a minute to work or get a place or tell my story. However I will not give in to slavery. I will not give in to being cut down into nothing and altered permanently. They will not get a permanently retarded person out of this which is what they seem to be going for. They want to cause autism and brain damage so they can get controllable submissives (good citizens) that go along with whatever happens to them.

This will not be me. It never was me and there was never a good reason to destroy me. The gangstalking system is treating this like some sort of area of pride for them....like they always get their TI and I am not going to spoil thier record. I notice that its always about what someone else wants, and that I am to be used for others purposes without a second thought.

I forsee that the rest of my life will be nothing but suffering and use and abuse. Activism does little when people dont do anything eventually. This has been little but entertainment for a brainwashed nation of imbeciles who worship and fear wealth over all else.


I caution you about suicide. The system is going to make it so you are so traumatized that you are shaky in your execution of things. Therefore your suicide will be just an attempt and therefore you will fail...then they can get you into some sort of hospital and really work you over to change you as a person or forget about who you are.

IF you take this route do not fail. Becuz if you do you will end up in a situation where they have complete control and they will win. Most people are so brainwashed either in this nation right now or by institutionalized harassment that they dont know it and cannot see what is happening to TI's for what it is. Alot of them, in my case dont even seem to take it very seriously...and all kinds of excuses are made up for reasons why. They are either programmed/conditioned from childhood or they have been brainwashed or it might even be dare I say mass mind control via tech.

What ever they are doing its horrible and wrong and I personally cant tolerate it much longer. Realize that when you are gone the usual lies will be made up about you. Or rationalizations...you were weak or defective. A nothing. You were crazy or delusional. Etc Etc. That you deserved it..the official line will always be crazy or disturbed. The perps who whisper in the ear of the public will always use other more sinister methods of convincing.

It seems that the system wants everyone to be on the internet, and everyone who is targeted to confess everything about themselves to the public. REMEMBER PUBLIC DISCLOSURE IT PART OF BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION and cult mind control. It also takes your life from you by making it so you have no private life left.

Anxiety and shame are being used in this country along with classic trauma based mind control tactics to create a controlled society. Who knows who is really behind it. It could be some other foriegn country who owns us without is knowing it or even a foriegn religion who is being allowed to influence us.
Sometimes what we go through seems very Protestant with all this (needless) suffering equallying some kind of spirituality (roll eyes now). Other times it seems Muslim, with the idea of cleansing or converting/reforming. Who ever or whatever the idea they need to mind thier own business becuz all they are really doing is covering up for corruption by silencing victim witnesses.

I think it is pathetic that the only time I feel ok is when I get onto the internet...when before all this got frequent and constant I cared little for computers becuz I did not like them...people kept saying I had techno fear, that I was afraid of them. NO I simply did not care for them. Now magically my life depends on them..hmmmmm. Sound like coercion into a certain life style? Yep. Sure is.

So here is some audio. I am going to put up a disclaimer about all my audio entries. Basically that I am under duress and that some of what I say may be offensive. And that if you dont believe of like what you are hearing then go listen to something else.

Really it might be best if I tell my story first so people can tell that I have been through hell and that I have been tortured thus they may understand why I sound the way I do sometimes. I am afraid if I put it out there now that itll just get used against me to prove how nuts I am.

All I really want to do is put the story out there and arrange for a funeral pyre project...one that will be like a peice of artwork...like to make up for all I have never been allowed to produce. I know that there will be plenty of sickos out there who I can use to my ends to put it on film and at least have SOMETHING to my name. Sad how all the expendables end up like Valery Solanis isnt it??? Makes one wonder about her claims about a certain corrupt agency. Maybe she was targeted and not crazy.

After all this is over the public will all benefit from the research that was done from early on up til now and beyond. No one will care about our deaths. Just like they dont care now.

Death would be fine without torture. That is probably the worst.

However, death would be the bravest way out and the most sensible. It would prevent further torture and not allow the perpetrators to say that they can indeed alter someone, or that they can use this system for social control where everyone is reformatted then placed. It would also guarentee that no one can torture you anymore.

There are those who do not suffer who truly believe that you are on this earth to suffer for them. That that is your place. They really think they are better than you deviod of your looks, talent or intelligence. They really think that is the way the world should be set up.

To suicide leaving full disclosure of what happened including what you know about human experimentation is to show that you knew full well what was going on and you would not put up with it. It is to show that humans cannot be pushed around this way and that you will NOT conform under pressure. That jealousy and corruption are NOT acceptable reasons to alter someones life or torture them.
This planet does not have long to go before alot of things humans have done to thier environment takes lives anyway. And you have alot of people who have given up and are quitters involved in organized stalking just becuz THEY cant stand up and fight the way you do. I notice that the disatisfied losers of life as well as the totally mind controlled both rich and poor are heavily into the fantasy provided by organized stalking.

You need not be thier plaything or Jesus any longer. I notice that these types would never dare to go up against real authority or the people who truly make thier lives miserable. They are all cowards and they are going to get theirs. They already have pathetic lives so let them live them.

However if you can stand it keep on living..if you cant make sure you slam them with an expose that will sting, tear rip and destroy. DESTROY.

Then leave, and as you do hold up your middle finger as you do to show humanity exactly what you think of them.
Global warming and air pollution will soon take care of the rest. Have faith in that for sure.