The 'MAYBE' file. Every TI should have a maybe file. It keeps you sane. Not that one should have to spend ones life figuring out mysteries every few hours..but this is the life we are forced into..often from birth.
So you have probably, especially since 2003 or 96 been overtly gang stalked in some way. Like the perps let you know its real. They drop info they couldnt know without special access to intel, they harass you very aggressively etc.
Then there is the situation where you size it all up and realize it was just random or more probably so. Then there are those times, probably more disturbing and damaging than the other two instances where the target can be sure of what is happening--the grey areas or 'maybe' file material. Its just too subtle and works on already severely engrained hooks and triggers..but no one did anything truly overt, so you can never be sure. These cases are very hard to solve as they are so subtle that you can never be sure..in the following case the only thing that makes me suspect is
1) the area: this area regularly has perps present and is a hot spot for me as TI getting harassed
2) people who were seen as participants in other theatres were present and engaged
3) the way the TI was made to feel was negative-the results were a negative affect on the TI
and hell, you ARE a target, so the possibility is always there.
I have documented on this blog getting perped at this location before. Now they have gone very subtle. Still its the black rent a cop who is employed here.
I sat down to have coffee. The nice guy from Mexico city (seemingly nice guy) runs the cafe offered me free coffee with my purchase. As I talked with him is when the scene got set up I think. By the time I sat down next to me on my right was a bus driver eating and minding his own business, some little kids playing upstairs to my slight diagnol right and an older girl looking up at them and saying something softly, seated to my back left. There in front of me was the info desk, manned and then I started to feel the tension but I am so used to it now I dont notice it in time.
I asked the girl if they were her brothers and sisters and she said they were her brothers up there. I asked if that was some sort of play room for kids as I have never seen kids looking down at the cafe from upstairs through glass. She acted weird when I asked that, like I was creeping her out. Then as I asked that and looked up at the kids again a person from circulation was looking over at me suspiciously from my far front left. Then I noted a young Mexican security officer standing guard over past the info desk to my far front right. He looked very stressed on 'on alert' and did this for the whole time I sat there. As I sat there also the black security guard who frequently comes into the computer area and does a check on the area that is more akin to a prison than a library, (obsessive, overt, confrontational)was making his presence known over by the info desk talking with the man working there and in general messing around and strutting to make his presence known.
Then a woman sat diagonal from me to my left. She had this thing going on like ' I am pretty too' and it turned into competition mode before I got up. And the focus she had on me was disturbing. In other words there were MULTIPLE things going on that were subtle, seemingly random, but NOT normal..not truly random- to make me feel uncomfortable.
I felt the fight, I felt put upon attacked and at war. I felt myself having to fight, and keep my head up and dignity intact.
I got this ideation that I was just a homeless piece of shit and didnt belong there.
WHY? becuz gang stalking eventually makes a person internalize and then self abuse or self police.
I am not a child pervert.
I am not a threat to a younger woman nor is competition in a library normal nor necessary.
My presence is not a threat as to need security people to look paraniod and on alert more appropriate to a busy airport than a library in peaceful El Paso.
This is also a place I have been mind games and gang stalked before and the black sec guard was fully involved.
Too bad that there are multiple Mex security people outside on bus detail that talk to me regularly..even ask me out. So..if they work for the same company then how can some of them think I am 'ok' and the rest of them (in here) have all sorts of problems with me presence?
Again we see how sublety, multiple sided attacks on one isolated person and intimation or triggering of 'hooks' the TI has been made sensitive to work on the person psychologically without them even counscously knowing it in the moment.
The reason I know it was gang stalking?
Firstly, a person who was possibly a perp before was involved.
Secondly, the young Mex just looked way to paraniod and on alert for WAY too long.
Third, kids were present, which is something that the system has been trying to mess with me with since 2003..in this situation it could have just been random but who can tell?
There were too many things going on for it to be normal.
Also, the biggest red flag was that I felt attacked and I felt uneasy. Humans are animals and your intuition will let you know what is really going on.
Lastly, when I got up to go to the bathroom, then I came out, the young Mex 'on alert' had gone, replaced by an elderly sec guard who was as ease and chatting with a young female patron..standing in the same spot as the young Mex was in.
The black security guard had gone, he was walking out of the reference office and was heading upstairs.
The woman who was competing with me had gone.
SO....I am supposed to believe that all those 'factors' come together to make me miserable and focused on, that they are totally random and natural and not a set up or partially a forced contrived situation..then when I leave all those factors disappate?
Give it up.
If you took all the stuff that happens to TI's and put it into a computer or computed the chances that this was truly random I am betting that it would come out that a great percentage of what happens that feels contrived as well as looks that way ..IS.
This downtown area has always been a place to be perped and I dont know why that is.