The one thing I can say about this place I was recently staying is that as far as shelters go it was run right. As far as cleanliness and everything about it was very much what a women's shelter should be..now they just need to invent one where a small fee is paid and the guests can pay in every night or week. Anyway, its a 3 week stay. Barret house in Albuquerque.
I had this roommate and she is a little Asian out of jail for 6 years for assault. She is not typical jail material however but she is a brat. I dont really mind this as brattiness is a bit charming in my eyes..but when she decided that she had to talk to her boyfriend at 11PM every night it kept me up so that I was waking up at 1AM then 3 or 4AM..then her alarm on her phone would go off at 5:45 AM and she would never get up just lie there like me until 7:15 or so..(this place was cool about wake up as long as you were out by 9AM.. the way it should be).
My anxiety levels were just too high in this place and I don't know why.
I asked her for quiet and she said her boyfriend gets out of work at that time. There were three women and me in the room. There was an older woman there saying she was targeted by the police for 6 years living in her car..hmm. We discussed the harassment and I offered her my blog and she wasn't interested. Also she seemed like a real drama queen about being targeted. I just took it with a grain of salt like I do everything else now. She certainly was obsessed with the age difference....that I was ONLY 38 and that this was easier for me than her. Maybe true but there is no comparing in this game. There were alot of self absorbed women there.
Then there was sky an older woman claims to do the homeless circuit around the southwest. She is OK just an old hippie...still she had a story about being exposed to meth and it becoming a problem wherever she would settle again. She claimed it would come out of her body and get into the new place she was living wherever that was. She expected me to accept this without documentation or scientific fact and I said nothing, but then acted weird when I mentioned the harassment..she also said that the other woman's claims to being a TI " yeah thats her trip"..this is what makes one wonder if half of the people one meets are operatives or not..so many similar claims but yet..so much lack of proof or even a coherent story. I often wonder if some of them are just TI's in denial about the mechanics of this system. At least the targeted lady admited that there is human experimentation going on and that the ACLU knows about it and wont do anything. She did not seem to understand cyberactivism is really the only way right now and wanted to do the worst thing (especially older female) TI's can do which is to cause a scene in front of the FBI offices. That is so old school and counter productive its ridiculous.
Now do you understand why being a GENUINE hardcore target is hard? Becuz you can never tell how many drama queens, opportunists, or jsut perps are posing as fellow TI's.
I didnt asked the other target about the cell phone at night and she warned me that this woman had just gotten out of prison for assault, beating up some woman, she spent 6 years in jail for it..(hmm thats a long time for just assault. Strange...must mean she had priors.) Then she claims this woman has a bad temper and starts mentioning her childhood trauma..it was all minimization of anyone else's situation becuz they buddy around during the day.
So to after asking her to stop and realizing she wouldnt, I just called the woman in charge, who seemed really good at her job and even gave a speech about admiring homeless women's strength once.
I asked to have my room moved but wouldnt rat on the girl with the phone.
I simply said that they were noisy.
She said she would move me to a room with a woman by herself.
I said ok and she said 7a.
I get back and I am in 5a instead. The woman gets back who is in 5a and she has a baby in there with her, shes on methadone and she grinds her teeth loudly and has for 30 years all day and night long.
The woman who is in charge at night, the lady with the wig, says that is the room that was left for me. I go into the room and try it out and as the woman is talking to me the kid takes a head first off the bed after rolling over off the bed. The woman actually cares for her child so she is upset and I cant deal.
She then freaks and says "Dont put this off on me and my son" and I try to tell her its the wrong room and that she and her son need privacy. She sticks to this and follows me to the office making it about HER and not about me.
This selfish bs was what caused this problem to begin with. I have anxiety attacks in some places it gets triggered and this was one of those places.
This was the stupidest place they could have put me..with a woman who has young child AND she grinds her teeth constantly?? That is more noisy..besides if it was discussed with me instead of them being sneaky and changing the room on me before I got back they would have known a dope fiend on any kind of opiate is not a good idea right now. I work very hard to not relapse so I may gain revenge and fight my enemies.
The amount of pressure I am under is often not overtly appreciated but covertly taken advantage of.
I cant say this was organized stalking becuz I was never overtly harassed in this place..but the women around me set a tone to make me feel very corralled. Like not following the rules and being disrespectful about getting sleep..and this is also an example of another problem within the homeless population- there are so many people like me who have no family, no money in the bank, a fixed small income or none at all, and no support system. We go it alone often out of necessity..then there are the jail people who use shelters as a place to go after getting out, the people women who keep having babies even though they cant afford them ( the system loves them, they are never a threat and dependent on the system for support and will exist for thier kids not anything else. One woman told me "we arent brave, we are irresponsible-we dont have our kids with us if you notice." She is right..I dont have any so I figured that they were braver than me having them. Alot of these women still had cars, clothes and storage with stuff in it. And there is always that snobbery toward someone like me, that they are not truly 'homeless' yet. This is what is wrong with nicer womens shelters..it turns into a f*ckin tea party or a hen house. Its not a place female warriors and freedom fighters can exist easily. And this is also where alot of recovery people were staying, like drunks who keep coming back to this place cuz they cant stay clean. Fair enough, I may be coming back but not due addiction.)
I just lost it..the pressure I am under daily for years has been incredible. I have become...a woman tripped over my feet on the train Boston one day, and she got huffy. I didnt even move..I didnt flinch. I have become that. A perp one day described my situation as 'a marathon that never ends'. True.)
So I just left and it was all about her and her son and everyone was totally selfish and the bad wig lady did nothing to conflict resolve.
When I went back the next day someone had taken my jeans (great back down to one pair) and the wig lady had this attitude like the dope fiend was going to be unsafe around the area...give it up. I didnt leave with anything more than almost crying and saying how its all about everyone else all the time never considerate of me..which is totally true.
Another example of a facility that covers its ass by blaming the victim of their screw ups.