I Didnt Know What I Was Getting Myself Into

A few people I met years ago who were aware of my situation, 'in on it', but were not strictly gs perps. They seemed to be assisting, while still handling me for the system, always looking for or expecting reward for their actions.
They had this exact sentiment: That I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
Its a bit difficult to see and comprehend whats going on around you when you are in the midst of a life and death struggle internally.

Ultimately, it is incorrect to state that I got myself into any of what has gone on around me or happened to include me- I was born into this. These situations were inevitable.

My growing and perhaps understanding just what I am up against changes little. Always working from the inside out, from the core of my being, knowing only what I have been formed from in childhood...infancy.

http://mindprod.com/politics/bushismsgay.html
(This site goes a bit too far and at times is accusatory without sufficient evidence or cause but it was useful and with many links, detail)

http://gayswithoutborders.wordpress.com/2007/09/30/george-w-bush-chad-savage/
(I personally expect to be recieved with defeaning silence if ever I get a book out. Its an illusion. Someone, somewhere will read..and listen.)



So...the world is run by closeted gay men? Is that why my life sucks so badly? Some fear of womanhood? Of certain women growing in power...and I dont mean worldy power?
I dont mind if people are gay, in fact its a relief that solves many mysteries about why men act as they do.
T
However, I as a female should not have to suffer because of it. Its the world being run by a bunch of WOMAN HATING closeted gay men I worry about.

Ultimately the issue that is most important is that such people in powerful positions should not be able to utilize mind control methods such as tech, chemical etc to control either large populations nor select groups or individuals.

All these other factors are unimportant. Powerful people, governments, monarchies-we see from history madness and perversion is always possible. It may even be the natural state of things-being human takes more effort than remaining beasts. Perhaps these people have the idea that they have reached such refinement, and the outside world are the beasts.

It is not natural for humans to be unable to utilize their own instincts, intuitions and internal worlds or inner life to process the world around them.

The main problem is the internet brings a view of such corruption in power to the lowly masses, making them harder to control.
The levels of intrusion on the human psyche and soul even that is possible now through technologies coupled with old reliable methods is far beyond what is normal, civilized or humane. It is possible now to create a living hell in this dimension. Not for a lone individual, within their own minds, locked away in a prison somewhere but in public spaces or for one individual as they seemingly roam free in society.
No matter what anyone says or thinks, this should not be. Its too much power for humans to handle and from what many of us have experienced, the people in power cant handle it. Extremism is no fun when it becomes the norm.