Being a TI and knowing your situation in the long term means adapting to survive.
You learn to think in ways that you never would.l In time, even dispite the constant brainwashing to get you to always forget what you learned you can make thinking outside your natural way of thinking second nature.
I as of today had the good fortune in a moment of clarity to see that there is a definate pattern to the kinds of people who surround me or latch onto me and another pattern is thier behavior towards being targeted.
Anyone who seems to know what your situation is but is blase about it is NOT to be trusted. Though as targets we want people who understand or even just friends very badly.
Anyone who seems to grasp the severity of the situation but is blase about it should be regarded with suspicion.
The pattern I have experienced is that the people who are close to us or get close to us that will be used by the system against us ALL HAVE CURRENT LEGAL PROBLEMS or are REPEAT FELONS. Being on probation seems to be the major one . People who state they just got out of jail are also common but not as much as being on probation.
The other frequent variety of perp is someone who has white collar crime in their backround and has money they made from scams or criminal activity. I dont mean just a small time person but major amounts of money, which would have made the risk worth it as well as made it now necessary to cover up for it.
Another frequent motive is getting govt or other grant money that is difficult to get. I have seen this numbers of times.
Once you are in this position you have to change your thinking: people no longer see you as human or even consider your pain and suffering- they see you as a resource. They see dollar signs or opportunity.
Destroying you and keeping you down is what they help to accomplish and get something out of it.
No one in New America is going to sympathize. The feds run this country on rats now. In order to get whst you want you have to be part of the system. Complete and total corporate thinking has taken over.
People are now viscous animals hiding behind yellow ribbons and whatever else they have to to be approved of by authority or feel they risk being harassed or targeted.
I have actually seen people look at me once normally then after realizing who I am look again with dollar signs in their eyes.
Its like the old cartoons where two guys are stuck on a desert isle and starving and begin seeing each other as food, hamburgers or whatever. That is the same look.
I was always surrounded by greedy, selfish people who would keep me down constantly and exploit me and use me to blame for their own issues or wrong doings.
I simply got handed over to a large network of those same kinds of people the only difference is they are strangers.
The public who do know have their own reasons for supporting this system or turning a blind eye to it.
In the end you have got to realize that no matter what you are alone in this, other than other TIs and truly sympathetic peoples.
Each time someone knew my situation they also had current legal problems. That drunk girl in Harvard Sq is a good example. She knew too much and she kept breezing through probation.
And you get this feeling they really think yer a naive sucker...a sacrificial lamb when it comes down to it.
And anyone who knows your situation but is blase aboit it...get out of it and stay out.
I discovered the hard way people around you either downplaying rhe severity of the situation or playing any kind of mind game are going to be a problem.
They will eventually waste your time, divert your attentions and generally mess with your activism efforts, even going so far as to try to cause self doubt or even brainwash you out of believing your situation is real and your experience valid.
Always remember these people are the ones with something to hide or a desire so great they would rob and cheat another human being by proxy to get what they want.
Most in recovery with legal issues are seeing you as an easy way to breeze through the system.
You cant afford to have that much time and energy wasted.
What these people are doing essentially is to help the bad guys string you along and keep you quiet just a little bit longer...using mind control tactics of course.