The secret to managing Austin is to go beyond the city border.
That rant earlier stays becuz it was totally accurate and what i felt at the time. Remember this is supposed to be candid. And it does serve a purpose by showing what certain areas and conditions do to me as a TI over time, and how i end up dealing with or being guided by protective forces.
There are things wrong with Austin. Its too hot for me and itz making me aggressive and agitated.
Theres constant incessant stalking and harassment. The people are often new money or yuppies or hipsters.
The water tastes awful and has a weird quality of making me feel trippy. The water for showering also seems to change mental state of mind.
Lets say theres tech and chemical influences in use along with constant psych war fare daily.
Sexual abuse is used here-a near constant low to med level forced arousal that disappears on holidays and when you go outside the city borders.
I cant keep a routine. Taking care of myself as i do is discouraged or just interferred with.
Panhandling was awful for most of the day. It was hot and people went by being jerks and doing harassment. Theyve been getting me going lately in Austin. They really need to piss me off and discredit me.
Yet i did meet a few nice people. One lady finally gave me enough to eat and buy medicine (staph skin infection is back and I cant breath which also makes me aggressive becuz i am scared by this.)
I went into a nice neighborhood went to a grocery and bought real food and ate at an outside table under trees with birds making noises it reminded me of California.
In Austin I always just want to eat fast food so I can take care of myself and of course I'm her ass so hard at the HEB on Oltorf that I'm starting to conditions not want to go to the supermarket to buy real food which is probably on purpose because they'll do anything to make sure that you're not healthy because of course that kills you faster and it makes it look like its random health issues of a homeless person instead of it being there harassing you into bad health.
I finally got to relax and feel good and normal and my body and mediately responded to the better environment and the decent food and the lack of shitheads because I was outside of the Austin city border.
Just one street away completely different in a much better neighborhood.
I had to walk and not take a bus and it was late at night and it was dark and they used all my gear which of course locals make fun of or don't understand why I have so much stuff and it's because they either don't leave the city or they just bum around Texas on the south where it's warm and that's also been very demotivating having other homeless people constantly say "oh you're awful loaded down aren't you?" when in fact it's taken me seven years to streamline a system where I have pretty much everything I need for multiple environments everything from heat to cold and it all fits into one backpack and a sleeping bag along with some sewing stuff and some toiletries and tools for survival. That's pretty fucking impressive because I've seen train riders that have a hell of a lot more shit on their backs and other travelers who carry alot of things for christ sake I do pretty damn well compared to a lot of other people around this country but in this area it's very frustrating and sometimes I can't figure out if it's actually harassment like psychological mind games or if its just homeless people being ignorant because they come from a hot place like Austin.
Besides it's not really home with etiquette comment on other peoples gear it's actually really really rude and its not what I'm used to its not really appropriate and specially to be negative one of the things about being a traveler is your supposed to be breaking away from social norms and one of the rules of being out here is that you don't comment on peoples personal preferences unless it's something that interferes with your comfort and security which it shouldn't.
Like for instance travelers that seem to not have a lot of gear and you seem to be pretty together might actually have a couple of eccentric habits didn't they have that's their little thing they might seem perfectly efficient and have a normal size backpack and then they have like a weird stock of session where they have to have new socks every single day or who knows what it is like sometimes people just have a weird picking you things that they do with their gear and some people don't give a fuck and they just have a year and that's it like it's none of anyone else's business what you do with your personal preferences that make you feel secure and safe on the road. And actually part of the safety and security of being a traveler is meeting other people that know what not to interfere with the only appropriate thing would be to ask somebody if they need help with something or if we need something cuz they look like they're struggling with some piece of gear with the rule of thumb is if you can't handle your fucking gear you don't belong out here so I'm not overloaded because if I was I would get rid of some stuff story so I'm not used to this in the homeless environment I had never ever travel to a place where people have been negative and commented on my gear the way that other hoe most people have year because nobody wants to deal with demotivational bullshit from other homeless people we get enough of that from house EZ and your P's and our families and the law and whatever from society we don't need that from other house with people I think that that's downright fucking bizarre about Austin.
And because so many homeless people here are in on the gang stalking for whatever the reason there's a sleazy people here I can't be sure if it's like a psychological warfare or if they're genuinely f*cking ignorant.
It's really hot here and I feel like I'm all alone and there's no other like minded this isn't people on the locals are against me and the other user against me and it's really hard and everyone is doing gangsta tactical gangstalking every fucking day like every other person on the street is doing gestures like I've never seen so many people in on campaign in one place.
So when I realized is that way to handle Austin is to get the hell out of Austin get out of the border of the city because there is a lot of crazy badass shit going on here you may not think that but it is the capital and its was very strange when I went to that other neighborhood it was technically no longer Austin.
One of the things that was the strangest incident was literally my backpack has been extremely like heavy here in the city like I feel like I'm driving around probably 5 or 6 maybe even 10 more pounds on my back then I usually am when I started walking up to the drugstore I noticed that I felt like I was traveling again like before I came into Austin outside the city I noticed that my pack was later and I was cry and I was like stronger.
And I noticed when I came back over the city line which is in the middle of a street where you have to cross it and then go back into Austin I could not believe that coming back over the border into Austin just crossing a street made it so my pack was heavier again seriously the difference I kept going back and forth over that street back out of Austin back into Austin and the weight did change the feeling of it being heavier fucking changed going over the border of Austin and Ally the border again.
Another thing I don't know what it is about the self but my teeth are rotting out of my fucking head and my teeth hurt more when I'm in Austin in my health is generally more poor and I'm fatigued as fuck and my package heavy and sometimes I actually feel like you see there something under the ground or something hitting me from the air like microwaves I feel like in certain spots I'm just stopped dead by what feels like being hit by microwave weapons I feel like I'm being stopped dead in my tracks were I can't move anymore I can't walk down the street and carry my pack like I literally feel disoriented for a second like I'm like disoriented in the space that I'm standing in my body has a spatial disorientation and then other times I feel like I'm actually tethered to the ground I'm sending it is if it's some kind of weird electromagnetic disturbance in Austin.
And remember the weird stuff that happened I posted about with the stop lights and the stuff under the ground being messed with and things being different and no stop lights downtown with they weren't working so they didn't seem to be any electromagnetic influence or disturbances there is a lot of shit going on in Austin it is the city capital of the state that is extremely big and greedy and has a lot of shit going on and it's probably corrupt and the GOP are really really good at covering your ass and taking care of their fucking enemies which I respect them for and always have.
In some ways Massachusetts is much more fucking horrible in here and in other ways it's easier to navigate through and vice-versa but it's just generally right now that's a whole country in every city that you go to there's a lot of purpose and there's absolutely no resting place like there used to be and I don't know why that is.
And obviously a lot of technology is being used to control the cities until cycle manage public and another thing I don't like about Austin is that I've blogged about the one time during bush in Boston when I was living there where I saw an entire bus load of people fall asleep at the same time and I did too but I woke up and saw it obviously and there's chemicals that they use that I've been sprayed with the spray bottles by the person I posted about it during bush and those same smells and that same chemical effect unfortunately I believe that they're using this chemical to dumb down people's minds in places like train stations down in the underground I think they put it out into certain enclosed environments but what's really disturbing is in Austin the buses are completely closed and you can't open the windows to get fresh air and that might also be part of the problem let me be very blunt I feel like in Austin there's some shit being put into the water and into the air supply when you're in enclosed environments specifically on the buses.
Because when I go to the city run place where people shower I feel really out of it and unable to focus and laxidasical an off-center after I shower there and it's the minute I get into that water and so Austin is not really over a healthy place specifically if you're not in your twenties or thirties if you're older if you're poor and if you sleep outside but that's a lot of cities nowadays my Siri is there trying to get rid of people are the population and the first demographics they're starting with other people that they can get rid of more easily and of course homeless people all of them are targeted individuals and people who have been deemed a threat to the New World Order so sinh somehow don't fit into society so therefore why not get rid of them first I could swear that in Cambridge in certain areas there was some kind of biowarfare being put down where they knew that we slept because everybody was getting sick and that doesn't surprise me in Boston I've had theories about the populations of Boston in Cambridge being completely spoiled because of the colleges in the medical community there for years now things like Boston getting inoculated against diseases that are going to come over here from other countries like SARS and other stuff like that because the medical community wants to protect that asset and the money that they're in the students and all the academia people and I can't blame them for that and that would actually be a good thing but if that can be done on a level of protecting people you can also be done on the inverse which is if you want to get rid of people.
I also have extremely bad short term memory loss and Austin like we're talking about me trying to remember to go into a store and get water in my Nalgene before I leave the area and just got going completely out of my mind and me forgetting it like I can't remember small things I can't make a schedule work it's so I've been getting more and more frustrated.
And the gang stalking is based on people being very nasty women being very snooty and people just acting like they're better than me and people putting me down and just this whole like to have psychological campaign of like Austin hates you and you're nobody and you can't win and it's been very demoralizing and demotivating.
Unlike where I'm from there is no built-in comfort for somebody who is isolated and alone on a mission like I am for some reason other parts of the country there's something built into the city maybe by the founders of the city fathers for people who are seeking or trying to accomplish something that's difficult that's contrary to society Austin and Texas seem to just punish the shit out of you for not being in line with mainstream society.
So going outside the city that borders was very revealing and very good. And I realize that that is the way to deal with Austin and I've always known that there's a lot of stuff to see outside of Austin did the part of the general area its just I didn't have time on this trip because I'm trying to get stuff done and leave if I had moved here I went to the attractions was going to be the fact that there was a lot of other places outside of the city that I can go check out.
The name of that I went to you though I don't know when I was down there I kind of wanted to come back and you know when I walked back from the store and then I got to this point SUSE to Austin I felt better this is one of those weird rich neighborhoods where the deeper you get into it the more you feel like there's a dark by there and there's something fucked up about it.
I've seen too much shit and I've been sleep deprived for years you know off and on and social actually feels like the way out in spiracy theory about aliens taking over our planet is actually true some of these areas do feel like that this like not humans there that there's something else going on there the energy is not normal its friendly with me but it's uncomfortable and dark and its way too quiet but in the way it feels like much better than some place like Austin while Beasley move out of nasty normal humans living.
More and more small towns are getting really weird I mean maybe small towns are always fucking weird noises never traveled to the moon noticed maybe I just don't understand America cuz I didn't travel when I was younger if you small towns of always being fucking weird the people are hiding stuff in there but I don't know the country is getting strange as I travel and I've seen some very disturbing things this particular trip.
What happened to me during bush was definitely disturbing it's just that it happened to me in a world that was unaware and seemingly normal is hidden in the normal world what's disturbing now is that something about the country is changing it's as if it's being possessed or occupied or taken over and the shit that happened to me I've dealt with that but it's the country that's changing and it's not normal and there's something strange about it.
And I keep having strange dreams here I mean I had a dream a couple of days ago about the map of the United States and the bottom half of the country was gone off the map and a voice in the dream said 'come on, hurry up you know half the country is going to be gone soon' as if I need to get my ass out of here and start heading north and get the f*ck out of the United States because something is going to come down soon.
I mean is this real premonition and advice or is this intimidation to get me to leave the country so I can be not on American soil and then get my ass kicked somehow in some other country?
You just can't be sure right I mean cult mind control consists of like making people believe its the last days type stuff.
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