I have had an allergic reaction that has dragged on for 24 hours. Today at about 430 pm I started having a pain in my stomach which is unusual for me-its not one of my sore spots, stress expression areas or weak usually. It takes alot to get me to throw up..if my stomach hurts there is something going on.
It was very bad. I thought it was food related This went on til we were waiting in line to eat. By this time (530) it was bad enough that you could see I was in pain by my face. I had to sit on the ground. My friend told me if I didnt go to hospital he was going to call ambulance. Cheaper to take bus. So I have witnesses that can attest to how I looked and acted during this episode. It also went on a bit to long to be comfortable with.
The burning and pain was in the middle of my stomach, on the left slightly and also in my liver which I dont mess with due to having liver disease.
It then started cycling (much like my allergic reaction had the day before) to me feeling normal and then the symptoms coming back this time with stabbing in the liver area and on the left.
My friend had pancreatic issues once and was concerned as it sounded similar. I personally thought that was a bit much and also didnt want to go to the hospital. But due to my allergic reaction still being present (Benendryl 50 mg every 4 hours or the symptoms came back like trouble breathing, weight on chest etc and a few hives on the body) I thought it might be related. My friend said just to be safe get it looked at.
The first few hours in the ER were ok. I felt safe, in a clean environment and protected from whatever the hell is outside in So Cal that is so damn awful-besides the baking sun that makes me ill tempered. Also this evening was overcast and I was calm and felt unaffected as the weather was much like New England: Over cast, cool and humid.
TO me at this point this is relief.
The doc was nice. Got blood work as well as an ultrasound. I felt much the same way as I did back before being targeted heavily in 2003-peaceful, calm, still within myself.
I noted differences between being inside this building and being outside. My thoughts ran differently. I felt enclosed and privacy in my own mind. I felt control over my mental world. I also felt that I got back my internal dialogue which is pretty much gone nowadays(so forget writing anything much less poetry in my head and then writing it down later or working on ideas internally). Much of what I create internally nowadays is being intercepted and countered.
There is a phenomena of every letter in every word I am saying is being ripped apart or spelled out..or even jammed so as to destroy whatever dialogue I am creating.
Everything was fine until after the ultrasound. I had actually started to get some real rest under the covers on the hospital bed.
I was resting. My eyes were closed. My friend was on my computer looking at emails. The covers were over my head. I then started to feel that familiar feeling- being uncomfortable..and watched. I sensed something wasnt right. I also heard from a light resting sleep that the hallway had become crowded outside my door. I then got hit with something-it was a flashing vision of the doc I saw seeing nothing was wrong with the ex rays and someone saying "Shes a pain in the ass". Like I play sick all the time. Then I looked up and sure enough THE CURTAIN THAT HAD BEEN CLOSED FOR PRIVACY HAD BEEN PULLED BACK and anyone in the hallway could see me. Due to the fact that I have this ability to sense when someone is looking at me even when resting or while eyes closed I know that I was being looked at and probably by that crowd in the hallway.
THEN the other bs starts. The cleaning guy brings the noisy floor cleaner down the hallway and hovers in front of my room for like an hour. There is someone cleaning up the area next to me behind the curtain, the other patient area, and hes dropping things etc etc. You get the picture. I also started to experience something that is a dead giveaway along with all the other bs that I just mentioned. I started to have mild electroshocks that were cycling every 10 or 12 seconds. I even had jerks that woke me up with this.
I felt anxiety ridden from then on and got no rest. This all occured after visiting hours were over about 8pm or 9pm.
Doctor came back and said that there were no signs of anything wrong (but what about something connected to allergies? or even too much Benedryl. 50 mg every 4 hours for 24 hours, maybe my body didnt like that so much.)