I agree that there is a perceived labeling of me but my aces are:
-my mother IS a documented human experimentee of human radiation experiments. Bethesda Maryland Naval Hospital is connected to MK Ultra human experimentation.
-I was targeted during a federal investigation and I can map out what every person who turned on me had to hide. ALL of those people would have alot to explain to the tax man except my mother who was working with my grandmother and at other times with the family lawyer on crooked lawsuits. My ex and my old employer have nothing but dirty and all youd have to do is look at thier taxes, thier phone bills and thier bank accounts and credit. I can also identify multiple persons as well as describe many things in detail I would not know unless I was there. This is why I am targeted so heavily so I cannot write a book. Becuz this would show that I am not as I am perceived..it would cast doubt on my detractors. The kind of doubt it would detract is better than other survivors of programming who claim G Bush is a pedo, Bill Clinton was a client and Bob Hope was a handler. The problem with all this is that its not provable unless other people know the same details as the victims making claims. And anyone allowed to get that close to those people are NOT going to side with thier victims. (duh). I dont make any such claims. I only know my own story from the inside out and what was going on on the outside was an attempted frame up that was sloppy and laughable.
Also my claims pertaining to remote influence and other strange phenomena are never outside the realm of possibility as all the technologies and weapons are documented to exist or there is enough evidence to conclude that there are such things being used on classified levels. Only the media, media blackouts and constant ass covering by shills can cloud the logic and reason to the tale I tell. Also me telling it in sci fi form is a great f*ck off to anyone who wants to get personal about my sanity. Any strange behavior I exibited will be directed towards the cover story circumstances. Which are quite easy to prove. And everyone knows that all those people only won due to being able to pay off authorities. Its that plain and simple. IF they want to label me I will start singing about clients so loud and in such detail they will all wish they were never born. A truly crazy person doesnt have that much detail to document. THEY KNOW BETTER. That is why I have been luckier than other TI's. I have lots of dirty laundry that is very embarassing to air and they didnt want to screw up and push me to prove I wasnt nuts by doing so.
This is why my campaign is more about vilifying me..so that I truly believe-internalize that I was a horrible person who needed modificaiton, thus I will settle down and conform and be quiet about everything that happened and the system can act like it was fair with everyone involved. Its like the system is claiming it generously gave me another chance- the only reason it can do that is that it has threatened me so badly and with such force that I eventually believe that I didnt deserve my original chance..the one I deserved. They want me broken and begging for another chance at a life-due to the fact that I am tortured so badly I will be brainwashed into believing that I deserved what happened to me when in fact its really me being tortured so I will give false confession and put up the white flag.
If they dare label me to my face I will capitalize on my information..then we will see how crazy I really am. Personally I am so saddened and pissed of at how my life was destroyed that I really just want to spit in all thier faces by writing it as total non fiction. But then one good deception deserves another except I will be fair: I will allow the reader to determine what THEY believe exists in our world according to thier own experience. Then its on them.
The worst thing about gang stalking is that it destroys any ability for the truly just to demand accountability or self governance of the people. It puts extremely bad behavior to good use and vilifies the victims. I can see in the greater design it creates a balance and in the minds of the designers this is fair. They truly believe this: More than once these idiots have commented on me writing a book, becoming a contreversial writer etc. People actually want to be decieved for a happy ending. They dont want truth. They want to keep on being sick instead of growing the hell up. This is the world we live in.. its a mess and that is supposed to be good enough. Its not.
I appreciate what you are saying but in Boston many psychiatrists actually KNOW what mine tried to do back during the start of the campaign. She did not succeed. So there has never been an official label and my last visit to a hospital for a rest was recorded as 'exhaustion' and severe situational anxiety due to travelling too hard too fast. No mention of any kind of label. In fact there are people working within the covert system who seemed to have gotten me to tell them about my psychiatrists bogus letter and someone must have taken care of it. I recall one woman agreeing it was really mean and awful. I had perps helping me the whole attempt was so disgusting. And now I am going after them first hand.
My problem is that I dont know who ordered this- I am a survivor of programming, I was trying to leave the sex industry and my old friend/employer has powerful connections, my mother and my fathers family have different connections to organized crime and my ex boyfriend obviously tried to have me framed up and has connected to scum bags with alot of power within the music industry. It is very hard to determine exactly WHO was coming after me and WHO was protecting me...and actually that could have changed and tables turned once people heard the whole story through an informant send torture info out of me during 2005-2006.
I know some faction who is used to getting thier way doing away with people was annoyed that I had 'friends' that saved my ass. So who was it? See one of thier tricks is to attempt to make the TI think thier friends are behind the campaign. I never made a move due to knowing that..I had too many friends yet also too many greedy enemies and intimates for it to be that simple..plus these morons kept trying to get me to target different people all the time. Forget it. There are pieces of information I DO NOT have and only those holding those pieces will be able to fill in that information. I dont care one way or the other I already know what happened to me and in what order when and where and how. For someone to now tell me who sold me out, who was involved is utterly useless.
For all I know this whole thing is an elaborate scheme for:
-the military or other factions to test out thier creation of 'the super soldier' thus furthering MK Ultra or the original Nazi human experimentation
and this includes new technologies that are documented to exist or be something the military is working on as read about in mags like WIRED. This would mean that the ultimate higher ups played many factions against each other in order to have things play out the way they did but ultimately had control the whole time over events. This means that they had me chased and targeted in order to test out thier equipment or something created in ME via implantation/programming/selective breeding program.
-there is a covert law enforcement agency that used me as a decoy to catch perpetrators some of them very dangerous, perhaps wealthy serial killers.
-some faction playing games with people such as Satanic factions who for some reason needed my energy but also seem to favor me for my rebelliousness, beauty and intelligence and other qualities I am not aware of it seems.
-selling survivors programmed to die off to the highest bidder who them pays to either keep them alive or to view thier obsessions on a reality show through the surveillance systems in public spaces as well as in retail spaces or hidden cam
Or it could be outright:
-Christians who believe that its utterly wrong to destroy me as such and have worked covertly in the back round
-another faction of powerful belief connected to my programming such as Rosicrucian or other Masonic type factions which will never show themselves overtly
-My old associate and/or clients either assisting in my destruction or helping me or perhaps both depending on the client/ old connections belief system or personal preference
There is enough there just in itself to make me sound NOT crazy considering how much money is involved and important people...who had alot to lose but also may have alot to gain by helping me. It will never matter to me all I know is that my face doesnt look like it used to, my health is damaged and I was denied opportunity that now I not only will never have but I am impaired due to the campaign as well as negligence by doctors landlords etc. The only thing they DO have is to try to say I am nuts..good. That gives me an ultimate free hand to write whatever the hell I want. I am being systematically ignored anyway right?
Mark I really appreciate what you are doing but going to Oz would ultimately freak me out and confuse me at this time. Being in So Cal is traumatic enough. At this age I should have been traveling with a strong base of operations in Boston area or I should have become established within my home area. The key word there is HOME. I try to make the best of my being in exodus but that is exactly what this is. And only I know how much I glamourize it or try to put it to good use for social issues like homelessness or a more tolerant attitude towards houseless travelers. But in reality I am now a stateless person, like many people targeted during the anti terror era. I will only be satisfied once I stake my claim to my home..at least in writing if never again in the physical world.
Being out of New England is unhealthy for me. Especailly in So Cal. The place just oozes ill health due to baking sun, cold wind, bad diet, unclean air, not enough rain or snow to clean the place frequently as well as a very unhealthy social environment consisting of a shallow obsession with money, trend and stupidity. Earthquakes dont make me happy either I'd rather weather a blizzard.
I miss the self satisfied New Englander and the attitude that true snobbery to act much more noble than the other guy as well as have more money than he..if not at least to be smarter is enough.
Here people are very unsatisfied with themSelves and conformity as well as ego boosting seem the only answer. This spills over into the social environment. The other day I started mind wandering about plastic surgery! There is something wrong with that..very wrong. If anything as a northerner I have good skin, more height and a better figure than most So Cal white women.WTF??
This must be why people here cant possibly mind thier own business. They are always depending on the other guy for either approval or an ego boost if they attempt to turn thier nose up at them. I personally never allow them to win via The Boston Wall, which is something every New Englander uses against nosy out of towners or other such predators trying to get a lift in social status for themselves by sucking off someone else. You just ignore them completely while staring straight forward as well as give them the best predatory eyes in return...not acknowledging thier existence of course.
"I am terribly sorry but you dont exist. Good luck with the delusion that I do or that I give a sh*t". This might sound nasty but you try weathering through neighborhoods like Cape Cod or Welleselly or Weston or parts of VT...if you're raised with that you learn that everyone has thier place and you should know yours. And firstly and formost its NOT a strangers place to get up in YOURS at any time.
Its hard here but I need the people I have met and for some reason I dont get harassed as badly as in other locations. The remote influence is more annoying than anything else and if I am gang stalked its either so stealth or so lazy and pathetic that I just dont see it.
I have friends here. They may not be the people I would naturally choose but my circumstances make it so and I am not the same person I was before...that is what saddens me most. This is not what I planned for my life.
Its tempting but if I run off out of the country NOW it would be just like perps in 2004 convincing me to do so. I cannot leave until I get this written.
Sometimes I think going to another country would solve everything or that its more attuned to who I always was anyway. But I can hardly function with all the brain damage and physical damage in my OWN country how am I supposed to be versatile enough to navigate abroad? I may have been able to learn things before I was conditioned by gang stalking or internalized the system in order to prevent further injury from it but whatever gang stalking does to us it retards our learning ability as well as our social skills. This is why its so easy to them label people as schizophrenics. Emotionally flat, likes to be off by themselves, afraid of strangers or leary of people, etc. This is what was meant by many genuine TI's on those conference calls years ago that explained to me what I did not quite understand back then:"They are trying to create false schizophrenics".
I will never forget that as long as I live.
I am too tired to come to the other end of the world. Once I write this story if I dont get to my two other books I am done. Everything will be out for anyone to look at. I dont have to work anymore. Just think of how much work I have done and how much damage to my body has been done without pay..on very little money. Its been ridiculous. But it seems that my life before this was similar in toil so why not expect that of me now?
It reminds me of that first Star Trek episode with Khan in it. He was a product of genetic engineering but they found that he was so much 'The Superman' they were trying to create that he was dangerous to the rest of humanity- he and his kind. So they break him down and put him on that horrid planet so he can use all his extra ordinary powers to survive a place that normal humans could not. Its eerily similar to what this system does to TI's many of which are connected to some part of MK Ultra, the radiation experiments or are survivors of high level programming.
( Its so obvious that Star Trek was connected to the Church of Satan at the time. And that would be Lavey as well as Michael Aquino. Many of thier scripts are amazingly advanced for thier time concerning such things and always of a dark nature. Its stupid for anyone to realize that this quality is what made the show a hit and still a favorite: the content was amazing. And a low budget did not stop them from creating just the right music or back drop for the story line as well as actors that were just perfect for the part. That show is more of an example of real magick than any amount of money spend of special effects or computer animation ever will be. Why is the new Trek so awful? Its far too much of a reflection of average human life. The old Star Trek seemed to have an inside track on what was to come in classified areas.)
My book wont get me back my old life or anything else thats been destroyed. As far as everyone is concerned I can easily be written off or worse: I met someone and got on with my life...I hate that more than anything else. Its so...neat and convenient for the enemy. Ugh. NO WAY if I can help it. Totally LAME.
Only a lawsuit will get me any real satisfaction and that is something that is...just too ambitious. I think about it...I could form a case but I am just not legal minded. I hate court rooms and I cant stand the pretentiousness of the people involved. Its like a game they play in there to uphold hte status quo. I'd rather write.
Who ever wins in this position anyway? What, Bonnocci? He had much more evidence on his case and in the end the judge wrote off the harassment as follows: that he has been through so much hell that he "..now believes people are following him." So it seems to be most important to every party involved on all sides to keep the existence of gang stalking secret from the public. I guess you never know when you'll need to use it for some important purpose so why blow it?
Thanks Mark but I just cant leave the country yet. Besides now the authorities are drawing attention to American expats as our greatest terrorist threat. Why becuz everyone they targeted or put into the poor house or got hip before the Bush era or the Obama era destroyed thier lives and took away thier freedoms decided to leave thier homeland to avoid being a sucker? You know who the real suckers are?? People like me who actually stayed thinking that we loved what America once was or just have it in our DNA to love our mother best of all and protect her. I was S_T_U_P_I_D on all points. The only thing I did was perhaps help other TI's..thats enough I guess.
Love ya,hope I find you and yer loves ones well and Thank You.
(To be fair I didnt include the possibility of a Christian faction that IS trying to destroy me or feels that I need to answer for my 'sins' or pay for past behavior or whatever. This would come under Cause Stalkers for sure.)
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