Xmas Day 2008

Of course in the morning I got perped by idiots who are out on xmas morn. You have to realize that some people involved in organized stalking are the types who are so horrible as human beings that they alienated their families already in life or they are addicted to stalking a target or any target that they may sneak out under false pretenses early on such a holiday to get thier 'fix'. Then there are those who have to to avoid exposure all their life long..I am sure they have other excuses....I mean reasons they use. How do I know they were indeed gang stalkers? Becuz this particular morning they did it old style, overt, like they did in 2006. Stalking, watching from a curb and then waving and smiling. It was just like the suburbs on this day, becuz no one was out and it was not populated. No cameras, just harassment.

I made long recordings as the harassment progressed and it went on continuously for about a few hours before noon. Their orderliness and tactical strategy is their downfall becuz it leaves them bare on the battlefield...it lets us know that it is organized and sophisticated psychological harassment, thus NOT random or natural 'chaos' type order of events.

Typical of a group with alot to hide.

So later on xmas there was no perp action.. not overt I could see. Then there was the dinner at Pine Street. At the end of the night there was the typical aggravation at how anti intellectual the whole female homeless scene is. I hear the men talking about issues that matter alot more. Some of the women do, but its never a strong intellectual conversation. I must say that it was nice to be somewhere on xmas and also every one was very well behaved.

Lately the shelters have been minus the petty thief idiot population, the loud jerks. Guess they have family or the weather is nicer somewhere else.

I discussed a more sensible shelter with some social services workers today and its all about funding. And also the attitude across the country is 'house everyone'. I am smart enough and have been dealing with systems long enough to know that just becuz you think of a new way to fix the old system doesn't mean it will work and it also means that you still are not looking at the fact that the original system is flawed from the root to begin with. That is why my gen X generation created 'alternative' everything. Not rebellious, alternative. And there should be alternative shelter or hostel/shelter like housing that is an alternative.

After what the system did to me, after the way that HUD behaved with that apartment and the way everyone behaved it would be the height of insult and a trivialization of everything I have fought for to be sucked into the system once again for ANY reason. I have dealt with enough slaps in the face and insults to who I am, what I am, and the talents I had and the life plan I had that now will never come true. Death would have been preferable and NO ONE is going to handle me or sweet talk me back into a corrupt system that seeks only to destroy/alter not assist.
That is the systems ultimate victory. To destroy someone and then handle them once they are beaten down. In fact, it is a matter of pride with our system, that one way or another, you WILL submit. You WILL know your place. And they WILL protect the people who screwed you that really matter.

I was doing everything to the best of my ability with out alot of co operation to begin with..oh, only NOW that I have been dumbed down and worn out and tired am I going to be treated fairly by the system? Uh, I do NOT think so.

Do you realize I have perps (the really sneaky kind who are more like operatives) who used to come up to me at Kenmore in the summer when I would jsut sit there all nite not knowing where else to go. One got talking to me and I was too tired so I just let him talk to me.
He mirrored alot of my story after a while then of course he started suggesting that I had been screwing the system for years because I was so smart and part of screwing the system was to not graduate high school. "Getting around the system" is what he said. Then I noticed after a while he looked ALOT like my ex...a thing they have pulled for years and not so much anymore since I got hip awhile ago. Its pure psychological warfare and its mirroring. As a visual artist by nature primarily, this is not going to phase me..but its amusing thats for sure.

I didnt do great wrong, and this is another attempt to make me feel bad, like a fraud or wrong.

If I am smart enough to get around the system I am called an entrepreneur, you jerks. And inventiveness is an American trait and creative problem solving is a Roman trait.

This woman today said something about writing a story that no one might want to read, that I should not be focusing solely on that. That I need to trust someone eventually, and that nothing in life could have been so traumatic that one just doesnt care anymore.( Part of demographic 'Unaware' or 'In Denial' according to my orderly system of where people fit in with gang stalking.)

A story with my mother: She was cutting off some parts of a plant, like mutilating the thing. I asked her she said that this would make the plant " grow the way I want it too". When a perp comes up to you in AZ and says that you are only allowed to grow very conditionally/under certain conditions its not a happy prognosis for a future.
I will not live out others dreams and fantasies so they can feel like gods. I also had one person close to me say that it had to do with controlling and holding a woman hostage and there was nothing she could do about it. That that was this was partially about. He also said that 'they' (again with the big faceless 'they') tried to put me in a little cell..he was speaking of the real estate company and he finished with " so they didnt have to pay" this may explain the heightened harassment during the time I sued the real estate company but it does not explain the targeting and stalking since 1996 and the 24/7 activity since 2003.
Again, perps who get close to you serve to give you some info that is true but then they are close enough to serve the deceivers by being dis info agents and clouding up the issues.
Over the time I knew him, he had blamed a total of 3-5 different factions, all with intimations and never names throughout my dealings with him. GAS LIGHTING: to withhold info from the victim. By never telling the truth about who is really responsible then you are with holding info and further confusing the person.

ITS ALL ABOUT BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. ITS ALL ABOUT CONTROL. And if this is connected to some sort of child abuse group(s) then you can guarantee that control is paramount to the perpetrators and all involved with them.

These people would fall apart without control over a victim.