So, I was just a bit upset there...found out that a student here mentioned my panhandling adventure this summer and fall, a gig I have dispensed with as of the colder months..except maybe for a few moments here and there occasionally. They mentioned I was A panhandler and that they questioned this element in their library. Fair enough. These kids are young and they are on their career path. I also have to remember they are Y NOT X generation. Me being a stemmer as part of what I am doing AS WELL AS what I am going thru I MUST remember is foreign to them. They do not have parents from the '60s who will think this is cute, amusing or interesting and if their parents ARE that age, they have forgotten all the things they taught US, thier first children as we grew together thru thier 20's.
I was a bit surprised considering that its an arts college, that they wouldn't appreciate the 'living it while writing it' sort of feel of what is going on here in my situation..but colleges have changed and this generation are not risk takers like we were raised to be. Me rebelling peacefully against oppression by panhandling is seen by them in books about these things but I do not think such actions are real or tangible for them in daily life.
Also, I think it is a very particular sort of arts college...I think these kids would rather keep it all on stage than live it really. Perhaps its distasteful to them that someone would live such a story.
Who knows...I know there are the sort of artists who think that 'living your art' is a dangerous, risky fools game but really I had no choice in this life but to see this thru...it is however my obligation to write about it. In fact that is my ONLY obligation. After that, I can die, go insane or float into obscurity....my job is to retell what I have seen. I do not know why and I am not supposed to care or ask either.
If I do not do this I will be badgered by it until I die anyway.
And one must always consider that that was not an innocent student but a fully informed gang stalker as we call them..whatever they call themselves or consider themselves is their affair. It is sad to think but I have read time and time again about students being in on clandestine ops not just recently but traditionally. I think this has to be one of THE saddest most demoralizing things I have had to take into consideration in all of what I have seen and experienced.
Places of learning..of learning and of books should be more sacred than religious buildings. They are valued higher as far as I see it. They are temples and should not be disturbed. But I have to remember the time I live in and the culture. The only sacred in this society is money and power. There is nothing else honored, so I better get used to it.....as a reality of the battle anyway.
This is why I try to not be at one place every day...I also try to make sure that I get up if a student needs a computer.
I also have to remember that I do not know what the public knows, has been told. It is not my job to care about that.
I was once told by a perp who was an associate for a while that these kids are wealthy and feel they must " defend daddy's house" or castle. I don't know, the people that I am up against locally are pretty sleazy, the idea of them defending these types if pretty unbelievable. However, if someone is connected enough, they will be seen as part of the wealthy set no matter how they acquire their money.
Now that I think about the kind of people that these supposed better than me well to do kids are helping to defend against my vengeance it makes me smile...it means that they are on the side of obvious scum and they are soooo defending rich white trash. Its great to think about my old associates...like I am picturing the people in my life before, as I really know them to be. Now lets picture some students of the local univ and colleges who have engaged in gang stalking or meanness to me.
I now imagine what their parents would think if I picture my ex associates with their kids!! Can you imagine what the students parents would think if they saw them with this local crime element that the cops are so damn fond of protecting??
Yet, these morons, my ex associates live in nice neighborhoods and have seemingly normal lives and no one asks questions. In fact, one of the associates of mine used to pan handle when they were down and out many years ago.
She was always smarter...she didn't insist on crossing over boundaries like I do and making people see her as disrespecting social 'norms'...yet, what choice have I been given?
This is going to be great....another example of someone fighting oppression and 'the norm' not being able to question or see what is really going on. A great commentary on our students as well as our youth.
Of course everyone is going to hate me for 1) telling the truth (as usual)
2) being right
3) making everyone think too hard.
That's it! Stop reading this and go play Warcraft or go onto Facebook. You do not have time to think outside your box! I am the devil incarnate presenting you with Things To Think About...I am worse than a drug dealer.
'Mommy, can I play with perception management?!'
'Yes, dear, but make sure you wash your hands afterwards'...becuz they will definitely be dirty. Or covered in blood depending how far you've gotten.
Dont Think!! The whole country is going downhill! The economy is failing! NO TIME TO USE REASON!!
How utterly convenient is THIS?? Give it UP people.
I have to say that certain security here is very responsible with thier authority, fair.
I hope all who treat me fairly, give and act honorably in positions of power have a truly pleasant holiday.
I am going to picture the perps however, having thier typical awkward moments and drunken fights at the table, holly and all. And all the money and favor from harassing targets..I hope it goes sour this year..in a big way. The obligatory Xmas with the original abusive family that made you a perp....have a goooodd Xmas.
I will be treating it just like another day, becuz that is what it is. My gift is reality. I never again have to be at a table of idiots who hate each other and are bonded by trauma, who hardly know me and dont pretend to appreciate me, but only handle me constantly. I will be independant and among the poorest faction of society, but I will be free of that dead weight known as the abusive, controlling, insulting family of one's birth.
My wrapped box is f*ckin huge and its got ribbons on it that shine. Inside is Nothing..becuz that is what I have to deal with this year. NO BS.
Maybe I'll pan handle again, just to get on the locals nerves...tee hee.