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Please be advised that this written work is theory. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. For legal reasons I state that I have no actual belief in these theories as fact, if I did I would have sought legal recourse. Until that occurs this blog can only be considered theory. If it does then any and all actions PAST AND FUTURE that have been taken against me during the years producing this work will be labeled war crimes under international law and any other legal protections that apply.
I am a writer, an activist and artist. I claim my RIGHT TO EXIST legally under US Constitution and international law.

This is an educational blog for awareness as well as sometimes a telling of candid personal experiences to demonstrate theories as they might be experienced by a person who theoretically is existing under such conditions. Thus the 'candid' expression, poetic license and marketing myself as product or character. This is NOT a journal or diary.
Being a reasonable person of sound mind if I had concerns for my safety or others I would take responsible action for self care as my established medical history can demonstrate.
Any actions taken against me by others questioning my sanity or competence based on my produced work will be construed as activist/dissident intimidation and whistle blower retaliation and proper legal action will be taken against you by my family and support system.

Be warned that no further interference with my production of meaningful work as an artist and activist will be tolerated.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Little options available for targets especially survivors

In my position it seems there is a connection to a pedophile network that needs to handle and silence survivors of either families or more sophisticated/complicated circumstances beyond just the dynamics of the controlling family.

I basically can either live like a child like slave in pretty much the same circumstances that I grew up in with my mothers family, or I can keep fighting and wear myself out doing the right thing. That is the purpose of all this to ensure that the targets health and life in general are ruined by covert deniable means. The more you fight for freedom the more you are attacked and your health suffers and you are still kept down.

There is not only a connection to the pedophile but to the extreme sexist it seems. There are many men who seem to be routing for the enemy in my case..they genuinely believe that I am the sort of woman who somehow does not deserve freedom, respect or opportunity. This is very prevalent and nationwide.
Its amazing to me that such a system exists but if it is going to exist anywhere it would definitely be here.
Americans have always been kept from the realities of ancient concepts like psychological warfare, subliminals, hypnosis-anything that keeps people from the knowledge of the concept of mind control or thought control...the control of another persons will.

Brainwashing is the closest concept we are given and the concept is used sparingly and really its kept to a childish level of understanding. Even the word is childish: the washing of the brain? Cant Americans mentally perceive things any more sophisticated than that? More complicated?

We are never allowed to...its obvious to people born into this culture over the centuries that this culture is limited..very limited. There is much in America but it is all down a few avenues. Its all the same, especially lately. Any natural European leanings that you may have are stifled..if you are not encouraged to seek out culture.
With privacy in the past there was more of an opportunity to find little niches to carve out alternative cultures and something either reactionary or different. Over the years alot of people over generations have been complaining that how Americans travel on the road, how we have little underground clubs, cafes or bookstores has been slowly destroyed. There is not one inch of property that is not accounted for nowadays and if is left to seed, it stays that way until whoever owns it sells out or does something with it.
Everything and everyone seems accounted for. A musician in the 90's said that there are less and less clubs to play like in the 80's. Little places to be left the hell alone from the mainstream and have your own scene.
The thing that is so frightening about the times we live in is that Americans have less freedom now than they ever have, what they have is access to information. There is a general feeling that they know they are enslaved, but that they do not care..that they are satisfied with their culture and their lives.
Why they would be satisfied makes no sense to me at all...its like 'faking it' has become such a part of thier personalities that they readily accept this as normal.
This country is not going to accept openly the concepts of mind control easily..that wud mean the break down of the whole perception of the culture.

What is also disturbing is how many people just blindly smile at a target like myself..all I can hope is that they only believe some cover story spread by they system or that they genuinely want to believe that I am mentally ill.
How anyone could not take the history of my situation seriously as horrible oppression makes the least sense out of any of it. It just doesn seem to be taken seriously.

I am actually expected to live with people like those sex offenders in Ayer (who lived across from a school-how do you manage that then? Hmmm.) When I got a job down the street as a dishwasher I worked one day. These men showed up, they were in suites. They were eating and as I asked the waitress a question, before she answered me I saw her looking up at these men at this table first, with this dark look in her eye, then she looked normally and her eyes went to me and she answered my question. It was definitely a situation where she had to gain some approval from them to continue or that she was afraid of them..the one thing I got out of it was that I did not matter. I was not respected, the power these men represented was all she feared.
There was also this instance where there was a conversation going on pertaining to working a regular job. As me settling down in Ayer and working regularly was mentioned, one of the men at that table seemed to be listening, and he gave physical indication-body language and motions that basically said 'yeah, thats what you should be doing'. Like this nodding but there were indications of severe control issues when it came to the subject matter: me.

Its creepy when you have a large group of people breaking you down and then trying to reform you in the image of the stupidest most untalented person who ever existed. Its like they just want you so conformed and average..one has to wonder why this is so important. To control the outcome of someone's life.
I will never be 'in awe' or respect these people's authority or internalize their view of themselves. You cant be all that powerful if you have to wipe out MY world and MY power in order to be evident to me or impress upon me.

But all around it was like this unkown element was helping to form a life for me..and it was going to consist of working too hard at this restaurant, then going home and being intimidated in sneaky ways by the people in that house. The dynamics in that house I was in recreated my mothers family almost exactly. When I confronted the owner and told him I was not going to be the scapegoat character (that these kinds of households have as part of thier structure) he said 'well leave then'.
He actually had the audacity to call me a week later and ask if there was a way to work something out....becuz everyone missed me. WHAAA??
This is exactly the kind of sick, severely limited environment that existed within my mothers parents home.
The limitation is so severe, that it can only be described as a dungeon and any attempts at being intellectual or truly achieving (especially in the arts) is received with reactions that are so evil yet sugarcoated, one wonders how these people survive daily.
That is the family who would rather see me labeled than succeed in life. PERPS tell me how sick they are..for perps to have sympathy for you its gotta be pretty realistic.

And it seems that the organized stalking system, the general set up of it, is to ensure that the survivor/target ends up living again in a similar set up. Time and time again.
This is why they want to wear people out. So they will get tired and all that running around trying to get freedom or have a life is seen eventually as a run..like a kid running away. It was doomed from the start and it was 'cute' but now you have to come home and live in reality. The one we have set up for you. The one we will terrorize you into every time you try to break away from the fold...from the family, from the world you were born into that you and people like you are meant to stay in.

It was the most selfish thing I have seen, but every perp is selfish aren't they? Every person who tries to destroy us or enslave us again..it was so manipulative.." I am tired of seeing bad things happen to you my dear" is what this guy said. Good, then you and the rest of the system leave me the f*ck alone.
They are not going to manipulate me into another controlling household or situation.
Its amazing the endless amount of a-holes out there ready to be of assistance to this system of oppression. Probably how he got a house across from a school with registered offenders living there. I know the way these men think..just the comfort of knowing there are children around is enough for them to have just a bit of control. And also its 'getting away with it' by society not wanting a house full of people like that in that location.
The mind of a pedophile always has this thinking going on in the background. It never rests. These permanently damaged people can never seem to evolve and I have no idea why and I do not care.
All I know is that there is a network of people who seem to all share this mentality who want to interfere and control my life at all times. And they are in my way. They have destroyed my temple, my home in Brighton. They have involved themselves in my affairs and they have taken away my open windows of opportunity.
They are in the way and need to be taken out of my way.
That is all I know.
If thier sick way of thinking rules thier minds then this way of thinking is altering my lifescript.
In The Way.They are in MY way.

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