Friday, April 30, 2010
It is therefore useful to a target to utilize this info and take it as far as it will serve us. The following piece is very useful to us as it shows the potential for abuses and the possiblities for corruption:
As for myself I was totally unaware of the changes of the Bush administration. This may be partially why the people back home thought this would be easy to get rid of me, its also probably why I was defended, saved or given assistance- there are still those among us in society that cling to ideals of true justice and being 'stand up' people. They know damn well I was an innocent as far as what was going on in the USA at that time. What is astonishing is that the public knows that these programs are used to support police corruption.
The greatest problem with the past decade is that under the duress of wartime the public was beaten down into believing that protection was necessary at any cost and forgot about the very real and true nature of the police and its connections to organized crime as well as other agencies of govt and thier misbehavior. Under these conditions its obviously true what history shows: your average person will knowingly take part in what is basically a frenzy of mobbing or whatever else can be gotten away with due to these conditions.
They see it as crime and know it is against the law but to people in society that think this way since authority is sactioning such actions it is perfectly ok to do such things. They are the ultimate 'daddy's girls/boys' and they are just as disgusting as any we have met in our lifetimes. With no internal sense of right or wrong, of justice or any Will power outside of official authority they will jump at the chance to act out in corruption AS LONG AS THE OFFICIAL AUTHORITY FIGURE IS INVOLVED AND THEY HAVE THIER APPROVAL.
Many of the people I encountered also seemed to fancy this whole era and thier part in it as some sort of play of genius, criminal genius. Really they were high on the hysteria and thinking that they would always be protected by corrupt authority and remain faceless never being caught or paying for thier actions. They rely on this to this day most likely.
These are your typical citizens who are so indoctrinated into the system that they are incapable of being apart from it. They actually believe that thier silence is true stealth and that thier hive mentality in being part of a large plot is true genius. They are usually people who never exert themselves as individuals and hide in a job title for life. It is hard to understand such people but we see them all the time- as we have encounterd them from childhood onward. These are the kids who cant write anything original or interesting in writing class but thier notebooks are neat and thier handwriting always in order. They often recieve B+'s while handing such mediocrity in on time, while of course those few of us with actual talent are still finishing a draft in class or handing things in late..and of course OUR paper gets an A- and is put forth as 'the winner' by the teacher who then loves on us and tells everyone that this is the way to write a paper and that we have a flair for writing. The only reason we got that minus is due to the paper being late or a draft so FTW.
Yes, there is trend in the USA where much of the police state is being used to actually destroy anything precious such as true or raw artistic talent, beauty, art, individuality or any other kinds of excellence. I have seen and heard this attitude first hand from perps. This is the very dark side of what the system is being used for aside from an obvious police state.
One perp who was a family member of a politician in office during my gang stalking campaign, made reference to Eric Clapton's book I believe it was a biography or the like. She stated "Eric Clapton is such an arrogant talented artist" and it was definately said in a way that seethed hatred for artists.
There is something very creepy going on as anyone who stands out as a true talent is hated or destroyed or targeted. One has to wonder if its just to ensure a corporate landscape where sameness and a cooky cutter factory product is forced into being the marketed norm so as to reduce competition and ensure consumers keep buying the crap that sells. It also helps to dumb down the public and the culture permanently I am sure is the desired goal.
The title should be "Consumer Spending Likely Drove Drop in IQ".
And look at the photograph. Its one of those that you have got to wonder if it was set up to look so casual and candid becuz it looks TOO casual and candid to be real life. The old guy and the big purple boobs are things this nation can be proud of eh? THESE are the people that run the country NOT anyone eccentric or special and they want you to know that. They want you to know that spending is the most valuable, patriotic thing you can do for your country which is why the average shmo and groups of average shmo's like mobbing groups are so much more important than a few individual ruined lives here and there.
I cannot wait to tell my story. I cannot wait to rip this system absolutley limb from limb and illustrate just how full of sh*t this country is and any country taking part in targeting anyone that gets in the way of this new communism becuz that is exactly what it is..I dont care that there are Capitalist rewards involved. At this point I am rooting for the elitists after dealing with the public this way for so long. Unless of course I can map out that its the most obnoxious elitist types behind this and that mobbing groups are NOT merely The Public working for govt or state but that they are indeed working for special interestsl, organized crime or corporations.
Either way exposure is the only way to map out how this system works and how in a campiagn cover stories may utilize anti terror or other 'official authority' tools or systems in order to meet the ends of who is truly motivating such actions against Targeted persons.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Interesting that it states that adreneline is a memory fixative. This makes perfect sense with gang stalking campaigns as behavior modification programs where conditioning is used.
I also can tie into ensuring that PTSD or running memories over and over in the mind drives a target to suicide.
There are worse programs than these. But most interesting is the common claim that 'brainwashing' does not really exist but I notice that there is much documentation that it is considered validated as psychologically damaging as well as altering of a person and thier Will.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Here is some info to add to that last post on L Ron Hubbards presence and influence on San Diego. Interestingly I have found that AZ was a major place for his work as well.
Towards the end of his life note that he saw the organization he created as something very different from his original purpose. This might explain why the organization clung to his image far after his death for promotional purposes with many believing him still alive as a result.
It would be very interesting if one was to find that his work became infiltrated and was then used by other parties for very different purposes than he intended. This would then make it a brilliant move on thier part to utlilize his work and his image as a shield of sorts as most arguments towards Scientology for some reason often focus on attacking their 'leader' or creator Hubbard. This makes it possible to keep attention away from what really goes in within the organization that is truly the problems. If one does some research one finds that victim witnesses have plenty to say about the organization not L Ron Hubbard.
I dont feel that any military coupled with a cult or religion mix well anyway. At least with Aquino if he is up to half the things hes accused of it wouldnt be out of the character of a Satanist, even using deception to gain power, protect oneself or get results. At least its pretty much laid out on the table. This is maybe more disturbing as MORE people seem to know of Hubbard's organization but dont know the details that explain the whole story.
Its interesting to read anyway.
The other thing about San Diego is the many Masonic symbols that are present but I cant see any energy grids in use.
What I am saying is concerning my post earlier, that man crushes the natural energy of a place by creating false environments. There is one way to create a false environment that creates energy not just destroys it: energy grids. They are all over MA and especially strong in places like Buffalo NY or anywhere with alot of this kind of Masonic archetecture. I see many symbols here but I dont sense a grid. The symbols dont seem to make up a grid system. In fact I often feel actively drained here of energy.
And there is something about the land here. Its so blitheringly obvious that its unsettled due to being an earthquake area. Also I note that buildings that are older seem to hold onto energy here in a very negative way. Back in Boston there is plenty of this kind of energy, and it seems to be held in check by the designs of the city layout and the buildings themselves. It seems to create harmony in the energies present. This may also explain why SD became very run down when the buildings got older and why its so popular to build new structures. Its amazing to me the amount of information existent in an older building here. Its so clear and strong. A bit too clear and strong. There is also something about the Pacific that is mega powerful and one senses this even in San Francisco. The energies of the Northeast are different more compact, solid and settled.
Due to this I started to wonder why there were so many Masonic symbols in the city. What is the association if it is not a true Templar association in the tradition of? I wondered if there is some connection to Hubbard, the Navy or could it be due to it being a major banking center?
It does seem like a Masonic association that is put on, superficial and very..uh, 'loud' if you will. A bit to obvious to register as genuine.
I dont get gang stalked here in dowtown San Diego and one wonders if its due to the Navy being here or if its due to this place being a major area for Scientologists (L. Ron Hubbard was in the Navy for years and held rank. I noted a historical presence when I saw "L.R.HUBBARD CONCRETE CO" or cement co engraved on sidewalk) or if its the rule of thumb at work: Wherever there is remote influence effectively running the population there is going to be the absence of in person engagement from organized stalking and harassment via human forces.
The attitude seems to be that these are 'non lethal' weapons and I assume that ties into the hushed up sentiment that at even lower power whats the harm in using such weapons for behavior modification or to pull of much needed changes to the entire world, a country or ...I just went blank. Totally blanked out from being able to access the entire thought and its details that I wanted to complete. This happens often...its like someone switches off a light in one room of a house without cutting the power to the whole house...that 'room' is that area containing that complete thought.
It wears me out to have to go in and counter this to retrieve the info that I had access to just moments before to insist on completing said thought in writing. Looks like there are very sophisticated weapons or systems for wiping recall as well. But those of us truly targeted already knew that. Hmph.
As I was saying it seems that the use of this tech not as weapons but as agents of 'change' that the networks seem to want so badly- change of individuals and change of nations, is considered useful and helpful to humanity. Whats the harm of managing entire populations? If it will make life better? Then why not?
Becuz no matter what happens to mankind the one thing he has a right to more than anything else is his own mind, emotions and the use of all the product of his DNA- his birthright. Also it produces an authority that rules over men in such a covert way that he does not eve know he is ruled..doesnt even have a sense of it as in other classical forms of social control.
As we can see in our world today its produced a society that has lost its creativity, its intelligence and its unity among humankind. Unless of course you are in a mobbing group I assume. The con is that it will create 'peace' yet it only does so by a constant war on communities, individuals and ideas. The idea is the good old 'out of sight out of mind' or 'what you dont know cant hurt you'. More like 'ignorance is bliss'.
And to those of us who possess some sort of ability to sense or even comprhend what is going on such as psychics, sensitives and others who know that something doesnt 'feel' right or is an introduced outside force this system is a pure living hell. I even suspect that part of this system's goal is to destroy anyone who posesses such abilities who does not work for the authority/power strucuture. All without validation or the public's knowledge.
The frightening part is that if they have nothing that makes them a threat and it also improves life for them then they will most likely choose to side with the power structure in its actions. So now its no longer 'the people' who are simply unaware of what is happenining its a small group of very special people who are somehow a threat or even simply of interest as experimental subjects to authority/power structure.
Because I have seen plenty of 'the people' go along with this so one has to wonder just how ignorant they really are.
It would be intersting to get everyone in this country aware of what is happening and see just how many of them protested such action. And then there is dealing with it being marketed as part of thier national security as well as improvement for thier futures via scientific progress. If..and I mean IF that could be stopped and people could understand the loss of freedom involved and what is being destroyed in this process- have we not come to a point in this world where people will do anything to jump into "The 21st Century" or beyond? People know on another level that the earth is polluted, overpopulated etc. This may very well be thier way of doing something about the worlds ills and taking us all out of the Dark Ages known as the 20th Century. Even speaking of being left alone to live in nature or develop naturally may be viewed by many people as an attitude out of the past.
But one point still stands: If something like this is so good then why must it be done covertly? Breaking laws? Well America was founded on genocide and breaking laws and treaties..so it ends up a good thing right? As long as we never acknowledge the people who were destroyed in the processs or give them back what was taken from them. ( Yes I am refering to Native Americans.) I dont see anyone apologizing them for years of genocide, slavery or sexual exploitation.Most likely cuz they wont riot, loot your stores, burn your houses down or drive by/rob/rape you and really you dont need to deal with them daily in society. They dont entertain people, play sports in large numbers or do any other tapdancing to earn thier keep. I can only hope thier games at the casinos are as rigged as the mob's. But that will never give them thier world back nor their land or thier lifestyle. Money and pay offs dont fix anything really. I dont blame them for the stand off ishness I experience in heavily Native areas. I also note that anywhere there is heavy Native population the land itself is more charged with natural energies and its a hell of alot easier to exist on. Its like they are nature's diplomats, bridging a gap between the land in this country itself and non Natives. Why do you think most white people have to live in such structured environments? As far as I am concerned Europeans still know little of American land. They may have the basics down especially long time families and farmers but most exist only due to the power of building structures to conquer that land and transform it to a false environment, killing its true power.
This is akin to what is being done to ever human being that is experiencing these weapons being used on them to any degree. From human experimentation to behavior modification the goal is to alter to a false environment or state of being in the interest of uniformity so the power structure may continue its empire.
We have a right to reject any way of living we choose. Its very suspect that such a heavy handed approach is being used as well as so covertly with lots of white wash and leaking info to the public very slowly as much more sophisticated technologies are already in use. If what the system is doing is so right and so good for our futures then why must it be done in such a manner?
The public has no idea that this way of doing things is so common now its just part of doing business. Most of them have no idea this IS thier world now not the future.
There is another way of doing things and its probably been figured out already if not re-discovered from ancient times where humans were in some places and times quite enlightened and not knuckle dragging cavemen as is marketed to you: USE nature and CO OPERATE with its systems thus gaining the most out of a system that is already in existence. Make mans technologies and his progress a complimentary part of what already exists. THE POWERS THAT BE KNOW THIS. They have known this since ancient times or they wouldnt have to persecute people like Tesla or others who have theories that use what is aleardy there instead of altering it and sqeezing the life out of the planets resources.
In short: Get a Clue.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Or maybe I got it wrong..maybe some covert police actions saved my ass and that is who interfered. Maybe the perps were soley "that crowd" that Lou Geppetti mentioned and they were a harassment group of private citizens with powerful mommys and da das who hopefully had thier asses handed to them due to interferring with a programmed asset.
But its doubtful unless the dumb little bastards were being utilized by the true designers and its the usual case of people not knowing who thier real employers are. But I saw enough cops terrorizing me. But then again I saw alot of different kinds of people from all walks of life terrorizing me.
Due to this being a covert activity and also the dynamics, the numbers, the lines, angles and structure being totally re arranged within these situations thus following a pattern most people are not familiar with, I then DONT REALLY KNOW EXACTLY HOW IT WORKS OR WHO THE HELL IS INVOLVED OR HOW ANY NUMBER OF FACTIONS RELATE.
This is soley I believe to add to thier power. This is the essence of 'The Voice of God' technology but in the design of the entire campaign and the existence of this system in itself. All along the path in this situation most lower level perps are very in tune with the power of blaming a faceless entity of authority for many small (and multiple. frequent) infractions against the TI. It all seems to culminate in trying to convince a person of low intelligence or uneducated (so they assume) that God itself is speaking to the Targeted person via the actions of the stalking group or network. The mystique is also added to by ensuring that how it works is never actually discovered and especially no evidence is ever documented that really maps out where money moves or who is connected to whom.
Then the TI is left to construct a map via deduction, logic reason and experience. And eventually whether the TI accepts it or not hopefully on some level due to being so helpless, the victim will feel that this system is a god like presence in the world he or she lives in.It is THE ultimate keep down tool of any citizen. This is why I sight so many of the people who are high up in govt etc who have been targeted. To discount every idiot that uses the fact one is uneducated as a rationale as to why they are targeted.
Its brainwashing and over time its hoped with enough repitition and harassment the TI will believe this on some level.
In my experience entire cities are being managed by tech and surveillance and in some though of as unconventional ways.
Its a horrible time we live in where man has become technologically advanced enough to actually produce such results but via the same means man has found ways to put parameters around the public to keep them ignorant of such capabilities, as if to keep them in the past while 'the future' surrounds them daily.
I also believe through research and first hand experience that there exists now human to computer interface that is far advanced past levels being presented in the media, to the public, and the presentation to them is always that such technology and capabilities are benign- used to help in medical and science not warfare or politics.
People in the USA at least have been whipped into a false 'feel good' environment and anyone who doesnt feel good needs to be medicated. Or they are victims of happenstance referring to the mess that we can see started overtly with Bush and its just supposed to all be happenstance and anyone who claims any different is paranoid and a conspiracy theorist.
Human greed is not imagined and it doesnt surprise me that many of the kids who have harassed me have parents that are very high up or for instance work for Ciso Systems etc. Cutting edge tech huh? We are talking about being overtly perped and then a kid telling me his dad works for Cisco Systems and he is addicted to World of Warcraft. Its no surprise either that many younger kids involved in gang stalking have made statements that the reality they they are living actually IS a video game to them. And this might just be the people who were assisting me becuz when this kid escorted me back to the Boston Greyhound station/ North Station there were some pretty pissed off rich man faces in that crowd that I was even still walking around or back in town at all. And even THAT could have been part of the set up to alter my percetions.
But it seems that anyone who has anything to gain from illegal, unethical human experimentation will own the future of man on this planet. Its happening NOW.
This in itself should be a red flag. Being disatisfied with corrupt authority or speaking out or standing up is now genuinely seen as some kind of mental disorder but no one has the guts to actually come out and claim that overtly . Especially is one does not possess anything that creates credibility in this society..which means the very common man's protests are totally invalid.
Which of course is very convenient for a system that threatens peoples families and livelyhoods to keep credible persons under control and silenced.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
ALL the power structures there need to be held accountable from single indvividuals to the largest institutions.
Do you honestly believe that I am going to buy into some theory that this was all for my own good due to me being chased out of there to not suffer what most poor people are suffering there now? I wouldnt have BEEN this poor if it wasnt for what they did to me.
So I should not eve BE in this predicament.
Its obvious that the northeast has had for some time a nasty covert campaign to rebuild the area and rid themselves of the poor or anyone who does not fit into thier cozy little system.
The bastards back there I used to know can try to forget I existed all they want. They all owe me for a lifetime of suffering as well as the destruction of my entire future.
Only by chasing me off from the destruction left behind to some new location can they hope to avoid having to pay that debt by forcing me into a space where I have to start anew, thus erasing in time the act of totally destroying my life.
This cannot be allowed to happen.
When I went to return to my family's hometown of Waltham, some guy approached me and tried to pump me for info. Part of me recognized him as a cop or detective that my family was familiar with or friendly with. I kept up my current status as just a traveler. You could tell he like many assholes back home, was at once frightened, amazed and thrilled. FRIGHTENED by my survival skill and that I really do not remember people that I have met in altered states or while in alter egos, AMAZED by my wherewithall and my programming's ability to protect me or work independently of my own mind and THRILLED as f*cking me over has been as easy as taking candy from a baby I assume.
What pissed me off the most is the disgusting feeling that anyone would help that scum my family. That anyone thinks more highly of them than they do me. That they are worth more than I am. That they matter more than I do. That any of them even deserve to do better than I in life, I who has never been allowed to do anything but be kept down.
I did indeed want to rip this guy's face off. And you would not believe the reactions from locals all around Waltham, especailly that gas station right near Cedarwood down the road from my grandmother's house. The looks were so incredible. Like 'why is she still alive and walking around?' along with 'we hate you so fucking much we would kill you all over again if we could'.
Ahh the sentiment is the same believe me. And these guys look Italian and the detective looked good old Waltham Irish.
Why would such people hate me so? My family is going to bleed and suffer as much as I can get out of them for what they have done. If they think that saying I am crazy like Danny is going to suffice for the rest of the time that all of us co exist on this planet they are wrong. My mother is an absolute scum bag who has become dangerously power hungry after my grandfathers death. She is not forgotten and there are some things in which even the police cannot protect you from. She does not deserve to ruin my life after years of abusing me and keeping me down. Why is this b*tch so important anyway?
What does she do for the cops or what info does she have on people that makes her spoiled rotten ass so damn valuable? What her brother Tommy ? How can Tommy be connected to the mob and she gets favors from all kinds of cops? Oh, yeah, its Boston. Where the scum all work together to make the system run so well, and to remain untouchable by the rest of the country.
You never know what might happen to you in your old age.
THis bitch, just like every sicko (like her dad) depends on me being of a good nature or more spiritually evolved so that I will just take this abuse for life or forgive. That family was always doing that to me. Making me into some kind of 'good child' who had to be good all the time and take crap in favor of the nightmare child (betty my mother) who gets away with anything. These are very common dynamics within pedo families and highly abusive families. Someone told me a few years ago that they enable her so much becuz she is the one that "has the dirt on them" in regards to first hand testimony of abuse at the hands of her father. They are right.
I hate having to deal with my family by figuring them as I would hardened criminals but hey...thats what they are right? If you've got detectives helping you destroy yer kid, then you must have something to hide.
I still plan on squeezing the life out of all the untouchables and that whole city's delusion that it in itself is untouchable- until I get back of equal value what was mine.
Its interesting that that c*nt my mother said to me "You can right a book by no one is going to believe you". This is much more telling as the years have gone on, becuz that means she must have known about all the other horrors involved in the campaign over time.
Then she got arrogant and sat there in her chair like a throne saying "A book can be very powerful if written in just the right way" as if she had any writing talent at all.
Its enough for all these people to take from me and my life's energy becuz they cant produce anything themselves.
And you would not believe the amount of people involved just in the Boston area alone. And strangers seemed to really get off on it, as if they had something against me personally. That place is so obsessed with personal power that they will do anything to gain some spark of it, some taste of power over others. They are the WORST wannabe's in the entire country. And they are SO bad that they really need to believe that they are powerful so the campaign has to be especially nasty. They are spoiled rotten. If you cant be that guy that goes to Harvard who's family is from Weston or like that level of money and status then you have to go to psycho killer levels of destruction just to feel anything like a human being of value in that stupid state.
Boston- Go Fuck Yourselves.
And dont think payday wont come becuz it will. You've got kids right? And they will have kids right? Oh so you think what you did was to IMPROVE thier lives for the future? I will make sure that it f*cks them up real bad simply by one thing- the one thing that MA could never deal with:
If ever I got depicted as anything other than who I really am, like someone worth destroying, you can bet it was that screwed up area of the USA and all the cocksuckers and c*nts that live there sucking the life out of each other to feel like they reign supreme. The history has to be presented as it is in TRUTH not some rewrite by a group of greedy, spoiled rotten east coast scum bags who feel they can gang up on someone to re write history.
And you have NO idea how connected that city and all this bs is to 9-11 which of course is why the little f*ckers are languishing in such power feeling that they will never have to pay.
WHats mine is mine and what should have been mine IS STILL MINE and I want it back and no re write is going to get in my way.
And my family..the biggest losers I can think of.. are NOT going to outhink me, out write me or out wit me. It took all of them working together with crooked cops to pull any of this off. Weak. Fail.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Now watch THIS:
Are we getting anywhere? NO? I thought not.
Now you understand why my generation, Gen X came up the phrase "Whatever" and the album to sum up our experience was titled Nevermind.
We weren't slackers, we were realists.
Monday, April 19, 2010
However this is the absolute kiss of death for any true survival of the Self or keeping of the true history of events surrounding a TI and the behavior modification that has been attempted to re-write thier lives, their history and the time line of everyone involved connected to them. Giving in to this would be engaging in the ultimate lie or deception. One has to weigh how much more personal discomfort one can take as opposed to how attractive it may be to be safe in a location that seems somehow acceptable to the perps and the system as to not experience gang stalking. But then one has to wonder why there is no gang stalking in such a location and I have already stated that the rule of thumb that never fails me is as follows:
Where ever you experience a lack of in person, human forces engagement with organized stalking or harassment YOU WILL ENCOUNTER A POWERFUL FORCE OF REMOTE INFLUENCE. Only the system knows the exact system of delivery of such attempts at hypnosis but documentation proves its either living psychics or technology.
Where ever you experience a lack of interference or jamming of one's thought processes, YOU WILL ENCOUNTER IN PERSON, HUMAN FORCES ENGAGEMENT WITH ORGANIZED STALKING OR HARASSMENT.
This has turned out to be one of those rules of thumb that one could bet on and win every time. Only in very select locations, certain hours or on certain dates have I ever felt a total lack of or experienced a total lack of any sort of contact or interference. That would be also by rule of thumb or repetitive experiences: in remote locations like small towns say in TN or on the border of ILL where there is no cell phone reception-period. Total dead zones with no heavy industry, corporate interest or military bases. Believe it. ( these are just small towns I experienced that I can think of right now. I am sure there are more in my files and there are more to experience.)
Between the hours of approx 12 midnight to 6am with some variances due to time zones or other unknown causes. In the east its usually strictly 12 midnight to 6 am. Here in San Diego it seems to be 11:30 pm to 5:30 am. In St Louis during Bush I recall being tortured mercelessly one time in particular as St Louis seemed to be trying to kill me right then and there with the tech itself not jsut driving me to suicide, and it just stopped, just like that at 1 am. It was so obvious it was an outside influence as it was so involved and intense it made no sense to just drop off like that, and of course to drop off at an hour that seemed in range of the 12-6 rule the system seems to have for targets. In St L it varied sometimes 11:30 and sometimes 1 am. It was like this arrogance some jerk had behind the switch, this attitude that they could do as they pleased by playing with the time constraints. Aww arent we special.
For some TI's holidays seem to bring relief. I have theories but no one knows why for sure at least I dont. but the holidays of the culture I live in that are a celebrated part of mainstream culture where people meet up with thier families or take time off from work bring relief from remote influence. I would have to look at my records to see if that included organized stalking and harassment as well. I believe so in most locations.
Location as in physical structure not geographic location: anything that forms a faraday cage like environment- concrete and steel buildings and always underground preferably two levels or lower. The former provides relief and the latter provides much more so.
Once again mental illness never sounded more like it wasnt as such at all as in my experience with what I have mapped out to be a system. I love how my 'disorder' doesnt affect me when I am around trusted friends/companions or in locations like San Diego downtown, and I only become 'insane' with 'mental illness' when I go outside downtown as I have posted. Its especially amusing that I have mapped out over time that it follows definate patterns that make it much more feasible to be a system based on human force and action and definate outside forces beyond my control as opposed to 'in my head'.
Its also intersting that I became so inconvenient..I mean rumoured to be mental when there was a federal investigation around the Boston Police as well as powerful criminals in Boston that will NEVER get busted as thier capacity for blackmail on important men (probalby the same ones that approve such investigations..hahahah) is like a lifetime ticket out of trouble.
The problem was and is still that it wasnt just to get rid of me due to that investigation..no no no. The system or some morons who thought thier neo con hey day would last forever as long as it was thier playground in that time period (recall? Bush, Guliani, Romney, Mcain and all the wonderful people that were right there during Ford surrounding George Sr. that made up George Jr's administration. THOSE guys..) They got greedy. It was clean up time for various other projects. It was time to clear up the loose ends I assume. The carelessness of the 60's and 70's had to be dealt with in a most efficient way.
As well as paving the way for a psychocivilized society and out of George Sr, George Jr, and Obama's mouths all have claimed a "New World Order". And that takes the brainwashing of an entire humanity..and that takes lots of trauma!
And deception and secrecy...and bastardry.
Yes I do believe that my work and seeking revenge is much more important than a man or love affair perhaps.
Of course my erratic behavior and tortured soul ruined it very quickly and he was just too young I think. 9 years does make a difference.
How long would it have lasted with a Christian anyway? Right.
It was interesting how respectful he was in keeping his belief system to himself but southerners can do that I guess. Dont worry I felt a dear punishment for this one from forces beyond. But who can resist a cute southern blonde..(eww, that rhymed.)
I almost got myself hurt. Why? becuz I didnt listen to The Guidance System. Last week I was being bombarded by clear visions and ideations to get my ass out of here and go to the southwest, as if I was missing out on some scheduled travelling. This is what happens when one does not listen. It has always been that way with me. Only since 2003 has the system been so jammed that I cannot make decisions based on such intuitions.
I have been avoiding the guy as he has a very possessing spirit and I have come under his power. Its definately critical time to leave.
He is here now. I had been avoiding him. He found me at one of our regular places. I wanted to handle this like an RA survivor..I wanted to cut him out of me emotionally then compartmentalize the whole thing, and forge on as if it never happened. He is not allowing that.
He is such a good man he deserves someome young, healthy and of similar religious preference and goals.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I just went through the comments here and weeded out the detractors, possible perps and Jesus freaks, for your safety and sanity. I am now waiting to take a shower....
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
And from what I have seen in the USA anyway is that most people approve of slavery and especially the kind of covert system that both TI's and mind control survivors are controlled by.
Most Americans I have encountered that know either my situation by knowing who I am or at least know that there are many targeted individuals in the homeless scene are more than happy to go along with this system. I often wonder if in another country this would be the case. Humans are selfish and very sick relating to this issue in every culture but I often wonder if in a more spiritual culture if this would be the case.
I am very controlled in CA, mostly due to its anti intellectual environment. San Diego just makes getting anything done very hard. You can feel the difference just getting on the train and going outside of downtown. Its interesting that I tell myself to just hop the trolley or bus to get out but find myself fumbling around downtown alot unable to get out during the day. Its a very controlled area.
At this time I am basically stuck. I cant take the herbs that were keeping me healthy due to Bactrim causing anaphylaxis and now I have many food allergies that have been induced. Due to this and the environment here I cant get off Benadryl long enough to get tested for allergies. I have many important things that need to be done but daily I seem to forget about them especailly law suits I would like to check out concerning the doc that gave me the Bactrim and writing to Albertsons corporate and the SD police about that employee that grabbed me last month and the police overtly coercing me and mistreating me. Funny how, being awake at 3 am seems to be the only time I can even remember these things to take care of them. During the day no matter how hard I try to remember to do them I forget they even exist and I cant seem to get out of downtown.
The company I am keeping lately is not helping. Having to act friendly to the local population has turned into being sucked into the local homeless scene and that includes the day shelters and some staff. I feel myself changing from who I really am and losing my sense of Self.
I also now realize that the reason the homeless system is so abusive is that they know damn well that many targeted people are in this population. It is there job to care for and further control over human experimentees, truama victims and any one in general who has been screwed over by the system. Some of them know that and some of them dont- conshusly anyway.
There is a new employee at one of the day centers for women. I enjoy new people as I can recieve some respect as a human being like a normal person. Then of course somehow they find out who I am. I get treated by most staff pretty shitty in most places, the only people that treat me well on this earth are people in higher positionsy of power. The bosses or owners, the doctors not the nurses or office secretaries. All middle management and most service people who get wind of who I am or what my predicament is play along with 'the game' or bask in the system's power.
I didnt trust the vibe or tone of voice I got from her today, even I could tell from her voice inflections that something was different than when I first encountered her. Her words and her voice were now geared towards control and a sense of disregard for personal respect. Its very easy to sense. And the words people use give them away, the way they form thier sentences. I was no longer recieved with respect as before but now with control and to show I am not imagining things, the reason for her interacting with me was that she had heard from staff that I was "A brilliant writer". This of course is BS due to the fact that I am a painter who is forced into being a writer. As a writer I am pretty bad actually. I dont use words well I have no formal education for literature or writing a piece properly and I dont have the writers knack for describing things well or taking people totally into another world in an elegant way. Being targeted by now I can hardly write at all I am so damaged and tired from years of this.
As far as I am concerned this is another ploy to placate me, to make me believe that i am getting something out of my situation when actually the system has done a very good job of keeping me down and destroying my life, health looks and talent. They will do and say anything to distract me from the fact that my life is destroyed and my future taken from me.
Its all part of handling a survivor who is targeted. This system is easy to keep tabs on due to it being a system of control and essentially mind control is used (brainwashing). Most of the tactics are pretty much the same and repeat themselves throughout a lifetime or a campaign. TO KEEP THE TARGETED PERSON FOOLED ALL THE TIME EVERY TIME AND FOR A LIFETIME IS THE GOAL OF THIS SYSTEM. You will be exposed to constant deception. That is the ONLY truth and the only constant. Once you know that you will have control over a system designed to control YOU.
The people involved in this system are terrified of truth. To them it threatens not only the power structure of our country, and pisses off a mostly male authority figure, it threatens them with having to look reality in the face which for some reason most of these people fear. My mother used to say that due to me being in NA, I had a view of life that was "really real" and then blamed "NA people" for thinking that way.
This of course is bs and the words of someone who is not very highly intelligent who feels very insecure doing battle with those of us who are thus the need to use any underhanded tactics or join groups to win at any cost.
This is why truly intelligent people just look sad or tired of life on this planet when they see what the system has done to me and is doing to me: that would be the kinds of people I told you about- doctors or higher ups. They know damn well that I am living way below my level in this life, that I am being purposely limited..they also understand the power of the mobbing group. This is why a TI gains true help or sympathy from only few and far between. Most people fall short of high intel and achievement- alot of people suck. And so they fuse together in mobbing groups. And authorities cant or wont do anything about it overtly anyway.
I believe the reason for these actions from large groups of people is that they are either unders some form of influence that they are not conshus of or like I have experienced with my own mother: they are afraid of you waking up and facing your own truamas becuz THIS WOULD MAKE THIERS VERY REAL TO THEM AND PRESENT THEM WITH THE REALITY THAT THEY INDEED HAVE TRUAMA THAT MUST BE FACED.
Once again we are dealing with cowards.
Didnt I tell you that you run into repitition in this system? And there it is again! Targeted Individuals do alot of talking and blogging about cowards as cowardice is a very large part of what the TI encounters and glaring examples are definately existent in the population of people who are perps or in on this bs.
The TI is obviously not a coward as thier inner journey has been but short by a system very afraid of anyone brave enough to delve into themselves or figure themselves out. You become a threat to not only the system, but ever truamatized abused person who would rather stay protected and in love with an abusive authority figure than to face what it has done to them and the world at large.
Its shocking to me how many people are so damaged but will still do ANYTHING to protect the abusive authority figure..and the childish, dream like culture that IS American culture that protects us from reality- and true healing.
The look on that woman's face today said it all. I hate using the word 'evil' becuz its reactionary as well as indicative of a Judeo-Christian outlook. Its also inaccurate becuz the people in this world who are truly 'evil' are in control of alot of power and would probably see my destruction as a waste of a resource.
The perps and the people in on this for whatever thier petty reasons are, are not 'evil'. They are not that strong nor that smart nor are they CAPABLE OF PRODUCING THAT MUCH PURE ENERGY. People who are purely evil and WILLFUL would probably gain my respect if nothing else.
But the perps and the herd in on this reek of one thing at thier core when scanned: FEAR. That is thier main motivator- its what drives them. That or weakness that makes them unable to fight or better yet REJECT the system.
I now believe that there are two kinds of people in this world: those that believe in or are part of the system as its laid out before them and those who do what is right on thier own conscience or by a higher sense of right and wrong.
Its very easy to sort people out: anyone who thinks these campaigns are amusing, funny, cool, show off the power of the system or of a group or are into this sh*t in any way of form are people who will always beleive in the system, work for it and worship it and all it offers them.
Anyone who is disgusted by what goes on in these campaigns or realizes that its wrong and against the law and is basically legalized slavery and torture is sane, righteous and probably intelligent.
Evil people are intelligent also but no one you run into on the lower levels is going to be that kind of person.
Probably there is something in the first group that absolutely hates loners or single minded achievers like myself. They cannot stand creative typically narcissistic artistic types, unless they are indoctrinated into the system with its approval- then they are probably the worlds worst groupies or worshippers of talent.
These people worship power especially power that smacks of male authority- the kind that rules our world and will pull anything to get its way. These are the kinds of people who have a very backwards and animal sense of what power is (without the sensuality of animal of course) and see the TI as weak and the system oppressing them as all powerful.
I believe that these kinds of people are absolutley incapable of seeing the TI for who they really are or truly undestanding thier views or any work they produce.
The truly smart people at the much higher levels know very well the nature of man especially most modern Americans and use them as a work force via manipulation to get things done. This tactic is age old and readily used in psychological warfare.
This is why so many TI's coldy disregard either overt perps or anyone in on this who approves of what is occuring. Obviously these people are incapable of not only independent thought but of self governance and respect for the laws of our land. They dont respect law they respect power as it is expressed through crime and corruption- through these ends they feel that an entire culture and lifestyle is upheld in the USA and probably other countries.
A smart TI who has lived through this for years and understands the set up basically knows that most people they encounter on lower levels and in daily life do not hold any true power. They are akin to expendable pawns on a chess board though thier numbers are very high. One can sense this readily when encountering them face to face as individuals. An observant TI records the same facial expressions over time being expressed on many different faces in many different places. And only after such people become associated with the gang stalking system- have knowledge of it and a TI's situation or place in it, does thier demeanor change.
MIND CONTROL. Perhaps not as complex as high level programming. Just the people at the top understanding 'people' and the basic nature of mankind, specifically the nature of modern Americans.
Most people you are going to meet in passing are not much of a threat in themselves but they will give you the same reactions even the same looks or expressions that many others have given which will depend on how much they know about yer situation- and this creates a creepy 'hive' mentality and adds to the reality that a very large mobbing group has been created. All it may take is to appeal to man's basic nature like jealousy, aggression, sadism, wanting to belong to a family or group, immaturity, fear of authority etc.
The efforts to squash free thought and Will in the era we live in has reached psychotic levels. Its become an obsession for many people: the motives may be
-to avoid the realities of environmental damage to our planet and obviously by now to our species who now suffers greatly from the effects of pollution. I often wonder if man is not going mad due to the effects of various kinds of pollution includig electro magnetic. The sheer amount of toxic waste we have produced must be astounding.
-to avoid having to pay the consequences from the war in Iraq and much of what was done during the Bush administration.
-to avoid the realities of globalization, where there is much human rights violations and exploitation. Marketing this as an ever hopeful NWO white washes it completely. This is one of the main reasons why people like myself must be seen as 'old fashioned' or thinking in an outdated manner.
-mankind can no longer hide head in sand and refuse to evolve due to an world wide web of information and experience. So instead of evolving most humans may insist on being stubborn and playing these games to not only keep people like me down but THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE.
-to perpetuate the old system of governance, to keep people down, in thier place and to protect the elite's position
I have had people just blurt out things to me regarding my situation like:"Oh they hate the smart ones". Its all so insane, that any of this could be going on in this day and age. Especially with the 'feel good' culture of the liberals nowadays with much emphasis on political correctness, Obama etc. This is why poltics is so confusing to me..each party seems to have these issues that are so neurotic. Especially with each other. Its very immature and almost retarded in this day and age to not have a system that actually works for everyone and gets problems solved instead of a perpetual tug of war where there is an opposing faction taking over the helm of our country every 4-8 years. The parties now officially suck and everyone who is honest with themselves knows it.
There may be various reasons why humanity seems more insane lately than usual. There has been so much introduced into the lives of our species in the modern western world anyway, that the stress of adjusting is just too much. I dont think humans are adjusting well at all. I think most people are so totally freaked out by the changes in the way we live since WW2 and especially since the early 90's that people are just living in shock- this is part of the truama that helps trauma based mind control to do its work on humans. And its especially scary to be abandoned via a young generatoin of kids that seem to act normally around all these new circumstances. Its as if what we defined as being human in itself has changed.
Especially what doesnt add up is that all that has come about in tech and knowledge should be used to solve the worlds problems and create a better world. That is indeed being marketed to people but the same old crimes and corruption exist and in fact much new tech and scientific discovery is being utilized against mankind. In essence nothing has changed. Humans are still willing to see through progress at the price of other human beings sacrificed for that progress. Man has not evolved at all and he may change but any spiritual evolution is not going to occur.
The very fact that such focus on science and technology is taking precedent over every other form of human expression should be a red flag in itself.
As long as overpopulation, pollution and a thing like the military industrial complex exist there is nothing 'new' about any world order. Perhaps re arranging things differently but man has actually remained the same. Man has always been and will always be a human sacrifice cutlure, using slave labor. I do not believe this can ever change and after what I have seen I know I am right.
Just becuz corruption is hidden from you does not mean that its not happening. This is the key to getting everyone away from an evolution of man. The system has been reset now to deal with the presence of the internet. Humans have been re adjusted so that knowing corruption exists is no big deal, everyone is blase about it and human feelings in general have been dulled. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY THAT THE WORLD COULD REMAIN FUNCTIONING THE WAY IT ALWAYS HAS NOW THAT THE PEASANTS HAVE THIE HANDS ON TECH THAT ALLOWS THEM TO SEE THE WORLD THE WAY IT REALLY IS. So they had to be bullwhipped for a bit to let them know that the powers that be will not tolerate any interference with what has always been- no matter what 'the people' see or what opinions they have on it.
We are actually living in one of the most oppressive times due to that recent bullwhipping by authority..and it continues with a strong intimated military presence and an obvious police state. And for anyone thinking the liberals will save you get a dose of political correctness and tell me that isnt overbearing social control.
It seems you have a choice in the political parties nowadays in the US: You can either have dad raping you in the middle of the night and then demanding you behave according the the rules during the day with blinding punishments if you do not comply mindlessly to corrupt authority OR you can take the lollipop from mom to make it better, believe she is the 'better' parent in the pair of perpetrators of abuse, then deal with her whining and nagging you to death along with a few small belt whips if you dont wash behind yer ears and look presentable to the neighbors even though the house is falling apart in reality.
THIS IS THE REALITY OF LIFE IN THE USA NOW. The whole place is totally f*cked and no one is supposed to say anything and everyone is so sick that they just want out for themselves, thier families, thier friends, thier race, thier sexual preference, thier religion..its fucking living waking nightmare. Passion and sensuality are not only dead they are probably illegal.
The world is worse off than it has ever been due to a certain soulessness now, that makes the best tragedies into cheap tv ads for Joe Public for candy bars or some other junk. The value system has totally changed. A combination of pc and police state has destroyed our country. For instance, trannies have special schools or get special treatment wherever they go that DOES accept such people but I sleep outside and have a horrible life. In another kind of city or state, a religious person or a straight laced type who might be totally corrupt will get treated well due to thier good front that suits conformity- while I sleep outside and have a horrible life.
Anyone who is not part of these two TOTALLY CLINICALLY INSANE parties who are dedicated like cult members to thier unrealistic screwed up value system's will be marginalized. BOTH of these parties partake in and approve of human slavery in some way.
Did anyone see that piece on ACORN informing a couple on how to pull off running a white slavery ring? http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2009/09/acorn-gives-tax-.html
( From my jaded view I am not surprised or offended by adults being involved in such discussions as prostitution exists becuz men need it to exist, especailly wealthy men so dont whine about it. HOWEVER, the underage sex workers are totally unacceptable. And the fact that a man is getting one thin dime from any of these females is the absolute most unacceptable part of it.)
This is the way the world REALLY works and always has. PC does nothing but provide cover for these issues.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
A woman just commented that its got to be some sort of govt ready to take over, in the comment section. Gang stalking has been around too long to be representative of something new. The chemical warfare and psychological warfare parts of it are in recorded history as used by both military the covert factions of any society that historically attempts to influence events. The difference now in this modern time is technology. That allows me to tell you very close to real time with very little money and connections what is happening to me and generally during this campaign. It also allows someone from the survaillence end to hack in and see probably where I am right now and what I am writing. A satellite could be survailling me right now or even making a reality show out of any of this for the very wealthy- even a game could be made out of it, like keep paying us or we will torture the TI to death or something akin to the old gladiator games and they bet on us winning etc.
I read that cops in Chicago area are notorious for using CCTV to hunt personal enemies- that is what the site said. That shows that survaillence is used by people in power as a game or for thier own personal benefit.
THIS is what everyone was trying to warn the public about for years, but the public is not savvy enough about crime to understand that it was never going to be as overt as the book/movie 1984. Well, that book does show how mind games and brainwashing, coercion etc is used as it has always been and is being used now..but that world had to be formed slowly over generations as it is being done now. Its very easy to engineer when its done from the shadows and slowly over time. Most people cant seem to step back and look at time over a large legth of time line, which is where the engineering occurs. The speed of thier living and percieving life going on around them seems to always be..fast. I have met people who claim they cannot recall what they did yesterday or last year. That might be why some 'see' and others do not. You have to slooowww d-o-w-n-n-n your view of time, of history- your own and the world around you. You can always speed up again, like when sucked into a group situation where yer with friends for a long while and you get into a speed or mode of thier living. Different people or groups you encounter exist with different perceptions of time this will affect your personal reality.
So many people are miserable in the time and world perception they exist in and cant understand this angst or unhappiness. Well then, you belong somewhere else, doing something else which is why you are in pain. The system we live in in our modern world is not the end all be all of reality and it is NOT for everyone nor everyone's DNA. Humans have not been civilized all that long as we know it today.
I come from people who do not belong inside working behind a desk, thus my urge to smash things if they dont work. I need to be outside being physical. Yet I also carry DNA from the ancient classical world of the Mediterranean and to that part percieves America as somewhat immature. Also none of us has any ancestor that has had to deal with technology being in our presense 24/7, training us like monkeys to be its counterpart instead of using tech as a tool for what WE want it to do. It started out that way but a virtual prison has been built with tech and this needs to be looked at and dealt with. I still have to laugh at the folly of that lowly Albertsons bagger grabbing me outside in the dark due to him thinking I was stealing when they have a very costly survaillence system. So what good is all that tech with human error still present?
Man is too immature and too aggressive to use tech responsibily. The military are the last people on earth that one wants to have that much power. They could create a military dictatorship without being overt about it like in other nations where the military has taken over.
And corporations..forget it. This is part of the reason that that readers govt theory doesnt wash...corporations have mobbing groups within thier companies to get rid of or handle employees. This is accepted by society as a legit claim but its still ignored do to its foul play/dirty tricks nature. As usual no one wants to deal with it so its kept in the dark, filed under 'Nightmares' in the human conshusness, yet it exists and is experienced daily.
Corporations may have armies of 'perps'. I know that its accepted they have spies and all sorts of other nasties. Big corporations are like empires and they used to rightly be percieved this way. In recent years somehow a campaign has altered the perception of these business empires to encompassing an entire lifestyle that is only good, right and the kind of thing that good little Capitalists do, or upstanding citizens take part in. The entire covert warfare end of corporate life has been whitewashed via the perceptions that if you are in thier family, part of that lifestyle then you are doing the right things.
Yesterday my friend and I met a man and his son near the ball park at a bus stop. Later we talked and I said what did you think of our friend we met? He said he seemed "cool". I commented and he said "What the clean cut family man?" I was appalled that appearences drove his perception of a person he just met. Not looking deep into the eyes or watching body language. I informed him that the guy was most likely a woman beater or some other problems with temperment.
He just went quiet.
The hidden or dark sides of life are what most people dont want to know about yet they exist daily and make connections to our lives in ways we see and ways we do not percieve. The corporate lifestyle as a righteous one has been shoved down our throats in this country since the 1980's. But back then there were alternatives- everyone had a freedom of choice that is what America is supposed to be about.
Now there exists a police state as well as a controlled environment where survaillance as well as citizens being snitch minded along with the world of big pharma psychiatry insisting on dosing everyone who does not fit in, even though their criteria for 'disorders' are shaky at best and are soley relative to society's norms. Big pharma of course doesnt want the public to be educated enough to know that there is a DISORDER model and a TRUAMA model for diagnoses. They just want them to recieve psychiatry as a pop culture or layman's understanding of it where now everyone is an armchair psychiatrist who diagnoses or at the least wants to discuss what one's diagnoses one has. Having bi polar disorder is like fitting in nowadays. Its just THE thing to have. Ridiculous.
This along with the limiting of freedoms and limitation of movement or mobility in the US has created a controlled environment- no one knows the worst of it as a Targeted Individual does. This is not paranoia, its a reality that a citizen cannot even be alone within thier own mind or thier own homes in this day and age. The taking away of privacy is one of the most imporant tactics in creating a cult and utilizing cult mind control (aka brainwashing) on human beings.
This blog shows the absolute worst examples of abuse of power within the modern world where authority can abuse any tool to its ends. The only thing from stopping a total revolution of America's people is that there is enough resources to keep a large number of citizens appeased thus compliant..along with mass 'mind control' using tech and psychological warfare- which no one believes anyway.
Every thing that happens to me is important to show on this blog. I will not "stop the suicide talk" if that is what is happening to me at that given moment. This is the reality of covert warfare and how nasty this system is. You have to remember that the system hates me due to my being smart enough (and dropped info by other factions) to avoid an official label as well as having just enough dirt on important people to be inconvenient.
Victim witnesses readily commit suoicide or have 'accidents' in the USA and this is a long term practice.. of any power structure. Look at people surrounding the Kennedy assasination- dont read conspiracy or believe what I tell you. Go ahead. Pull up a website that gives you a look at simple documented facts on what happened to multiple witnesses surrounding that event. Over years time there were so many accients, withdrawls of testimony and cancer it obviously forms a pattern.
This system is nothing new nor does it deserve the cover of silence any longer, that is its only real mode of survival. If I post the day I light my own f*cking pyre then you must read becuz its real, its happening and its the least a society of cowards can do for me along with other TI's who need to see just how this works and just what can happen to a target.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Also anyone with nasty commentary can just not comment at all. Someone wrote me that I wasnt interested in healing due to me not wanting info that they have and that I think I know everything.
I know one thing. No amount of info is going to solve this or get me a lawyer who will get justice for me...when you have a lawyer and other professionals that can help me in a solid meaningful way then you will have info I can use. I dont know everything: but bullshit walks and that is all I need to know.
This may be normal but on top of that now we have a situation with the survivor being a Targeted Individual. This means that they are basically a victim of torture. The reaction is now in some ways more managable than before when the survivor was young and perhaps did not understand why he/she reacted the way. If one has survived to the point I have then you understand at least why you are targeted and have most likely read alot about RA or programming, cult mind control and understand the way the gang stalking system works. This may give you more insight into your actions than when you were younger.
It still does not help make the original reactions go away nor does it stop the PTSD or repetitive memories of what was done to you go away. I think that is what is causing suicide in many a returning soldier as well as Targeted Individuals who go through psychological warfare as well as other horrors.
The person I wanted to be with is very nice and also...well he is from the back woods of Florida and I have a weakness for southern hicks I guess. So gentlemanly yet so natural about sex. Its not this dirty forbidden subject as up north among Catholics. For many southerners sex is as healthy as drinkin or huntin and I agree completely.
But I probably made the mistake of getting involved with someone who is younger and has very different priorities. This one is very into being responsible but his future lies with getting his kids back and having a future in So Cal. I dislike So Cal enough to only want to reside here a few months a year, not year round. The earthquake thing is really just too much for me to deal with.
I was lonely and needed basically protection from being harassed. As usual the price is just too high as its usually someone who is either very selfish and wants you to tag along with them as they get thier own stuff done or someone who is more than happy to allow another to spend thier money on them- which wouldnt be a problem if I had more money.
There is something special about this one. You meet them sometimes, these soulmates. I dont think there is such thing as the one soulmate, thats just bullsh*t. For all I know its a DNA thing or he's RA as well...who knows anymore the explainations for people who seem to be 'our kind'. You just recognize them thats all.
And besides I dont know how long the Christian thing would have lasted. One side of me liked his altruistic attitude and wanting to help people..but the other side of me-his outlook on life really was going to get in the way of me being vengeful and that side will not allow interference. AT ALL. None. It would've driven him away eventually anyway to get him out of the way. He has the biggest eyes, like pools to look into of blue. You could lose yer sense of Self there..and that is for people who are tired of fighting. Who forget the big battle that exists ever present outside of this reality. I just cant do it. I cant.
And his friend taggin along with us has kinda changed the dynamics He just cant seperate from this old friend of his and now its about me feeling like I am a sidekick to thier hanging out.
Since my break from my life in 2005 or so, really it started in 2003, I dont know what else to do off the road. Like I wouldnt even be able to be housed ever anyway. No life can exist for me until this issue is resolved, until the account is settled. I am not going to torture another person in my life due to the fact that I am either fighting to stay alive or I am not settled until there is an account, no matter how unbelievable, of what ruined my life, my health and my future. That break in time has to be fixed.
So I am leaving very quickly again with little money. He has such an attractive nature, so easy to get along with that I keep trying to leave and keep falling back into him.
He is a caring person, we basically get along.
But once again my standards as well as my task at hand is what I live for...or die for more realistically.
I HAVE to get out of San Diego ASAP. I am feeling so suicidal by this situation, how attached I am to this man and finally finding some friendly people. But I know I cannot die until I write that story about how things got this bad and how I became this messed up. I promised myself I would do that before I go and it would all be in vain if I offed myself before then.
I feel so bad today, I know if I dont get out of here I may end up found at the squat with a bullet in my head. Its that damn bad. Its really bad actually.
This thing keeps bugging the shit out of me also like everyday. 'go to the southwest and then go back to Boston to attend UMASS' are the ideations. Even visions of the southwest especially ABQ New Mexico. I havent gone becuz i like this guy and also I will just get harassed there anyway. I know if I leave what will happen to me.
There is also a leaning to leave the country and go to Europe eventually.
It wont leave me alone long enough to have a life here anyway....so I need to leave. Something also keeps telling me that he is not the one and that he deserves someone better, someone more in like with his plans etc.
Its true that I cant sort my health issues out here due to it being a never ending pollen season in So Cal and I cant stop taking Benadryl long enough to get allergy tested. Its impossible to get anything done in downtown San Diego. You can feel the dumb down and the jamming effects cease when you get out of downtown like Chila Vista. It especially improves the closer one gets to the border of the USA (as usual). Definatley downtown.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Posted By: Bettymouse @ 12/18/2009 10:29:15 AM
"In reference to the use of the word "craven" on the cover: to quote the great Inigo Montoya, "I do not think that means what you think it means." Craven=cowardly, which makes absolutely no sense in the headline, unless you have no idea what the word means. Ah, Newsweek. You used to be a decent magazine. Now you appear to be using spell check instead of actual editors."
Posted By: pwiener @ 12/16/2009 11:32:32 AM
"With all due respect to Neal Gabler as an historian of media, his latest foray into theorizing reminds me of the discussions I used to have in college when everyone got stoned. His assertions are ridiculously over-confident and over-rationalized. It's full of so many holes you ought to publish an issue just devoted to them.."
The Greatest Show on Earth: In defense of our...tabloid culture
(Who is Kate and John? Perhaps its better I am ignorant of this. Yeah, probably.)
I love this NWO era we live in where also outcome based education is pushing a weird communist thing where any child who is a champ and excels is told to slow down for the group level or to step aside for the slow kid. In the old days they just beat us down and got the same results (see the history of Boston public schools..better yet, ask yer grandparents- especially about perochial school and what a joy the nuns were.) But now that you cant get away with keeping the populus down old school style you have to come up with some other tactic...also that no one will notice is f*cked unless they are clever...thus worth keeping down even moreso.
But when it comes to the opinions of 'the people' no one really seems to listen or take heed. Its considered passe to be active in protesting something or expecting authority/power structures to listen anymore. Its considered wasted energy or something losers do- winners side with corruption as this is the source of true power. This is and maybe always has been the common attitude of people. Being a stupid person who is a trendy snob or super PC and uptight is considered the best thing for the nation right now. I kid you not. If you interfere with that cult, and thats what it is by its nature, you are interfering with making America the strongest country possible in the global economy or some other such fodder.
Its all about winning..well hasnt it always been? Yes but the greatest pain we feel nowdays is that the culture has been engineered, under the guise of the war on drugs, anti terror, PC and revitalization- so that there is really no place for the underdog culture or reactionary underground culture to exist. Add to this that someone came up with the very clever idea of taking the edginess of the underdog-rebel culture or person and making it appear as if the squares are now hip. Someone took the bondage gear, the leather jacket and the motorcycle and handed it over to your average conformist citizen. All they need do is buy the trappings and live the part or the fantasy. Then collectively the group has decided that they are indeed cool due to being patted on the head for doing all the right things to be so.
Its a brilliant move to make rebellion appear useless. When being average is so much fun or when being average can be edgy then there is no attraction in anything truly edgy. What used to define rebelliousness is now associated with dirt, filth, poverty, homelessness, losers, failure, stupidity, foolishness or a psychiatric disorder.
This takes full power away from sex, drugs, rock and roll, underground ANYTHING, rebellion in general and subversion in general. The attitude is 'what are you accomplishing by doing that? You would gain so much more if you did the 'right' things or joined the norm'. Its very important to make rebellion seem unattractive and to provide as much as possible within the 'norm' or the mainstream to ensure that people do not go to the fringes to seek out something that is missing in mainstream life. Of course this is all to cover up for corruption at various levels of society. Its to placate the people. The tabloid culture placates them also. The problem lately is that the media is not just providing smut in certain publications as before. Its the same idea I guess- to make the mainstream into a spying, dumb down gossip machine. To make it the norm or part of mainstream culture.
The tabloids are way to into spying, harassment and survaillence. THIS is the levels in which they have too much power. And in observing that one must ask to whom they benefit...and just who allows them to exist. Then one sees a larger agenda of social control.
How can it possibly be that this society keeps claiming via its actions it wants a more people based world, a new world order, where its not the law of the jungle but peace and in order to do that somehow we need to become one hive, one living cell. We need to become all the same, agree on everything and accept everyone etc...yet no one seems to listen to 'The People' on much of anything anymore. Its just the power of this cult and if you believe as they do you are doing right and in the right.
Its indeed a very scary time in the USA as well as around the world. These people actually believe that peace can be achieved through the enslavement of mankind. They, as human animals, are so in denial and so afraid to fight authority, so afraid to face the consequences of our environmental issues as well as the reality of life itself in these bodies and on this planet that they are so tired, so scared, so jaded and so frightened- as to give up what it means essentially to be human.
When all people want is 'peace' but they have stopped thinking, reasoning and they are doing so out of fear or exhaustion or jadedness then what they are really seeking is death.
I have a suggestion for you. YOU are welcome to drop dead while the rest of us experience everything in every history book ever written that makes living as a human being for 80 or so years what it has always been.
What also may be the case is that I might be experiencing typical human hatred of the traveler, the wanderer, the artist, the female, anyone from 'the street', etc. I just cannot believe that in a world that feels its so evolved and liberated post 60's as to want to create a NWO of 'peace', that society would still be suffering from these outdated, stupid and backwards views and opinions.
So how can you have world peace if you still hate certain things and people? If you unjustly hate certain things and people. If you still ignore social ills and other issues. So...what you want is peace as in death not peace like as in peace, love and joy. You want compliance to authority. You want a good front. You want the 50's but without any jazz clubs to run to or other underground scenes.
What you want is sterilzation. What you want is a mind controlled society, a huge massive cult. And fear, indimidation and lack of privacy is just a few of the ways of getting it. And if the public is dumbed down yet self satisfied, who will know what they are missing?
Happy slaves are obedient slaves.
I do believe that some of the gang stalking that TI's experience is done by this kind of person or group. This would register under the 'Cause Stalker' type of perpetrator. Most likely these people are cult mind controlled (brainwashed) like any other group of its kind, and the people at the top are either programmed by covert forces and understand little of the truth about thier motives for thier actions or are in a chain of command that leads to such agencies/covert groups and the persons at the top levels are the same ones working out designs in our society.
Evern TI is at this point pretty aware that the amount of money, resources, access and connections that it would take to pull off campaigns like these ensures that it has got to be people who have access to these resources. The groups and people who do the dirty work are akin to investors who are quiet down to the contractor down to the men laying the bricks to build.
The bricklayer would know little about the silent investor or even who really owns the propterty. This is why eventually every TI realizes that with this much systematic ignoring, police involvement and pay off, sheer numbers or participants and victim witnesses, that the in person 'perps' that we run into are just not capable of pulling such a massive project off. Many times we have come into contact with these people and they have appeared to us as insane, mentally inferior or outright braindamaged, abused or brainwashed. Others more aware of thier actions are either doing so under the gun or gaining something they desire either personal (sexists, racists, sadists) or tangible (protection, pay off, favors, opportunities, entertainment etc).
The cause stalkers often fall under the category of religious terrorists but we dont know that as we interact with them due to they hiding thier identity as well as motives behind being faceless and nameless-organized stalking and harassment. This is the true power of organized stalking and harassment. Without secrecy and surprise attacks and obsession with the target and thier lives there would be no such phenomena or system of oppression known as organized stalking and harassment.
The woman I met in Rachel's, the one who said that Obama was bringing out the greatest evil so that people may see good or some other insane totally illegal theory of religious oppression or cult mind controlled terrorists---she may not be so far off in her far out theory.
The other day I recieved a bag of food with a note in it from the people that were handing it out to us. It stated that perhaps we were in this situation becuz "God" wanted us to hear him and we couldnt unless we were...well basically brought down to this level or similar theory.
I disregarded this of course becuz if that were true then that means that the gang stalking system is indeed run by Christian terrorists. Or at least they believe that is its purpose when in fact they are being used as cult members to do the dirty work of people with very different ends than the ones they believe they are accomplishing.
Think People's Temple with Jim Jones having such a close tie to CIA people and them having a file on him very early on before his rise to power. Hmmmmm.
That is basically how it would be set up but instead of communism or peace love etc as a front, in this era it would be Christian groups or other ideas made popular by the times we live in.
REGARDLESS OF THE FASHION OF THE TIMES THE GROUPS THEMSELVES REMAIN CULTS USING CULT MIND CONTROL AT THIER CORE AND PROBABLY WORK FOR THE SAME FACTIONS DECADE AFTER DECADE OR EVEN CENTURY.
As Mark Phillips once put it: people rarely know who thier 'employer' really is (CIA or other covert faction including organized crime).
I also had a very revealing and disturbing experience on the MTS (San Diego trolley/bus system).
This Mex guy came on like a pan handler would and after he opened his mouth I wished it was some guy asking for change instead (so there is someone worse you can encounter than 'the homeless'!)
He is the same guy I have seen going through the streets with a megaphone last week.
He shouts or speaks loudly about Jesus, repenting yer sins, being saved etc. Yes, we all know that in the NE a bunch of Catholic Irish people would have beat him up by now or Jews roll thier eyes and ban his ass. No such luck here.
Everyone in San Diego is mello but it becomes docility in the face of fascism or oppression and this is not good. Nor is it right.
We must uphold the law and not let extremists take over our country...its a bit late now as fascism from the military, police and govt is not seen as such but hey, lets stop what we can.
He got on, did his thing and walked off the next stop. One could feel the chaos he caused and how he annoyed people just by his actions. I told him off by saying something obnoxious, like "Satan still loves you dude" or other such absurd comment just to be contrary.
This kid in front of me says "Hes right though you know" and starts telling me he goes to his church. He askss me about the Satan comment and I inform his little pea brain, (most likely formed on So Cal public school systems and the melloness of the area resembling everyone being on lithium 24/7, with no respect for healthy rebellion, questioning authority or independent thought.) that I just said that to be an asshole. Then he starts bragging about his insane church. I wont let him get any energy out of me by thinking he is right and we are all just non believers or in our hearts know we are wrong.
I state that back home he would have been bruised up by now. He asks where home is I tell him Boston.
He then started bragging about the manpower even fire power of the church. He stated that "All that guy has to do is to make on phone call and a bunch of people will show up". Is that a f*ckin threat? Becuz I kinda grew up with the same concept due ot my uncles connections except we were taught to shut the f*ck up about it not advertise to the world like this moron.
I reminded him that THE LAW of the USA states I am supposed to have religious freedom. He replied "Thats true". What else could he say? It also reveals that these are people in this church that are looking for truth as he seemed to not be able to argue with fact or in his mind 'truth'.
He then claims that former gang members are part of the church and something about killing. either that the church has prevented him from being killed or that its kept gang bangers from killing again.
I then remind him that THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO LEAVE THE GANGS ALIVE ESPECIALLY IN LATINO CULTURES. He shuts the f*ck up as he knows what I am talking about and also prob realizes I know a con when I see one.
The whole time there was this black guy sitting all tensed up on the seat to my front right. Like he was either offended, with this kid in his views or perhaps part of the same cult..I mean church.
I ignored them both and went on to talk to a guy who wanted me to fix his phone. He then turned out to be a bit off as he started claiming theories of being able to alter the earth's gravitational pull with his mind and that the north pole had a hole in it where people, space ships, could get into the center of the earth that was hollow.
Personally I would rather talk to the schizophrenic guy (or another plant pretending to be crazy who was really part of this scene) and comfort him by stating that man did indeed have more natural power before humans starting imprisoning themselves in false environments made of concrete and screwing up the ecosystem. That is not untrue anyway.
So we see that religious militancy can exist even without raw fire power. Its true that getting gangsters, (who are criminals with criminal minds or expendable mind controlled soldiers) to 1)get a way of of gangs and still stay alive 2)get out of gangs and reduce crime and harm to the community is perhaps a good thing and they will probably do so becuz they are either 1)criminals with criminal minds or 2) mind controlled expendable soldiers so they either are taking advantage of an opportunity or the church gives the dedicated soldier somewhere else to be a dedicated soldier.
but the fact that we are now dealing with: CRIMINAL MINDS AND EXPENDABLE MIND CONTROLLED SOLDIERS in the ranks of a religious church is not exactly comforting either.
In case you did not get my point that I tried to make rather humourously: we are now stuck with men and women perhaps, trained in urban warfare, who were dedicated to die for a cause with little respect for human life outside the gang/cult or logic, now being part of such a church.
Perhaps now you see where Cause Stalkers can come from.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
It's not "woo woo" and it might finally help you understand what's been happening to you and why people like me come here and immediately see that your very way of thinking is highly limited. I wish I could help you more with funds, I'll try but basically I read your stuff and all your suicide talk and I think you are actually very hard to REACH to help, ya know? They did a good job of isolating you.
The point is that you're in the DARK about this stuff and that's exactly where they want you.
Carissa is one person who I believe can show you a different perspective on all this, one that is far more empowered. Read her book with an open mind, it literally took me an afternoon to read it she writes very straight forward. I've found most of what she says about getting this shit to STOP to be totally true. This girl is a military kid too, way deeper in this stuff than I was, and yet we have both come to the same conclusions overall. Good luck." Publish Reject
Anyone who posts a comment like this again is going to get erased and ignored. You suck at research becuz not only is there a record of an abduction (no aliens just people on a Greyhound bus) on this blog early on a few years ago, a link to Carissa's site is on my other blog about deeper subject matter that is connected to gang stalking. (ONMC.Wordpres.com)
Carissa's work mentions some trauma based mind control programming but not as much as other targeted survivor/activists. Her work is a definite valuable contribution to the cyber community of survivors or targeted individuals.
However, like the rest of us she tends to be mistrusting and touchy with good reason and in a short corresponence with her, it shows that she doesnt deeply understand other programmed people. That is fine but her work is part of the whole community action of survivors/targets not the end all be all.
My programming is very geared towards protecting information, with my life if necessary. Its also about being able to play shadow games or be heavy with silence at key times in the game (which is visualized as a perpetual playing chess game within the world of internal programming).
Carissa's work was a find for me and I appreciated its existence. Her info and site were an addition to all the gang stalking info I had found that concerned only being targeted or the use of tech to target people not going into the deeper motives for people BEING targeted. Per my programming I always keep info seperated as it is probably to keep outsiders or my own inside alters from knowing the complete picture, most likely it was created as a security measure during the original programming of me.
The whole internal system is like this and when I was being gang stalked heavily there was information stored deeply within my mind, as people say 'the back of my mind'. Like when someone is worried about something and you say to them ' I know that as long as that is an issue with you, it will always be in the back of your mind so lets get it out of the table and settled'. Well, that area is very useful for storing info that could either by mind read by the system through various methods or to extract it out of the targeted survivor by torture (like gang stalking campaigns). I existed with a front alter during this period of time, unable to have any access to the 'back files' and via programming took in every bit of what was happening to me (via the Observer alter) whilst looking quite lost and stupid on the outside.
Its natural for me to want to keep info seperated so only those who know what they are looking for can access that info with 'keys' if you will. Or those who are smart enough to figure it all out will have access to the complete picture..its like the sword in King Authur..you cant pull it out of the stone if you are not meant to.
Due to this I wrote Carissa warning of starting to write about gang stalking within the context of her other work; that the perps use anything we say or do against us or for use by disinfo agents to make misleading info look realistic, so perhaps she should best leave all the info in pieces, and there is enough out there on gang stalking for now. I had just been burned very badly by a group that has many perps and operatives within it and the harassment was still very active.
I was also still working very much off internal programming not living in the external reality. I think it was also during Bush before Obama and if that was the case then the harassment was definately much worse.
She of course freaked out with a response of suspicion as to why I would NOT want her to mention gang stalking etc etc. And the way she answers email is measure for measure, as in being reactionary to what is written to her not responding in a letter like form or true communication. Who can blame her?
So for my own safety I posted my original letter and her responses, also to demonstrate to people what years of these campaigns can do to people and why networking in the world of covert warfare is so difficult.
So yes, I know her work and have used it as much as I can already.
In response to the reader comment, the system has done a better job of destroying my mind more than anything else and completely removing me from my old life and everyone I used to know.
As far as suicide goes its always a possibility when a human being will decide to die after being tortured for years.
You are approaching this the wrong way..I am reacting in a totally normal fashion for what I have been through. There is no fixing this with new info. Also even if I did not read her site prior, the new info would change nothing about my situation.
There comes a point where the TI realizes that they have pretty much the whole story or understanding of what has happened to them. One finds that there is little help for an mc surivivor who is an 'expendable' from birth to begin with. And despite the sick, misguided efforts of the behavior modification programs and the people who believe this is the best way to erase and reform programmed mind control slaves, there is no fixing what has been done and the behavior mod programs only serve to do more damage. Sick animals die, damaged bodies dont last and that includes the brain that houses the mind, our perception of the world and the essence of Self- who we are or were.
I, unlike other survivors, never got handed that magical opportunity to be sponsored long enough to write a book in peace or to do radio shows, give testimony or found that special therapist or that institution that readily deals with survivors. I have read about people who have and it seems unrealistic to me. For me personally, this system wants me dead and silenced. No amount of NEW INFORMATION is going to change that- I need substantial assistance in being heard, supported and protected. I may have that right now for a few weeks, but it never lasts becuz no one understands this situation other than RA surivors, TI's and abductees.
In the end, society goes about its business and the memory of what happened to a person like me to destroy my life falls into the past as well as anyone taking responsibility for what they did.
I am like a horse gone lame by the side of the road and its only getting worse. I could get up and start on the path again, trotting forward and maybe even get back into the races again later.
But that would take everyone who caused this close to me back home taking responsibility for what they did as well as every stranger recounting thier part in it as well, as perps and victim-witnesses.
That would take Jake admitting his part and taking responsibility, my mother, Julie, the entire community of Brighton MA, various corrupt police depts not only in around the USA as well as companies who seem to employ perps or allow them to utilize thier services for gang stalking campaigns acknowledging thier part as well.
It would take private companies behind military contracts and the medical complex as well to admit to using human experimentees and breaking laws to gain access to humans for this purpose.
It would take an entire country to wake up to the fact that covert activities such as these are not only related back to Nazi human experimentation but that covert activity of a destructive nature, a human sacrifice culture, has been and is in existence, has always been and is the very nature of worldy power on our planet.
'black magic' is what it is called but that is so damn childish its ridiculous. Humans are greedy apes with high intel and access to the godhead or thier own godspark....what is everyone so shocked about?
It would take society admitting that there needs to be a grey area and much help for targets trying to mend or heal from such attacks or campaigns or some recourse. That would take actually admitting that such things go on, therefore revealing the existence of such a system, and thus taking away its greatest power: deception. The deceptiont that it does NOT exist, except in the minds of the insane or the religious..both can be percieved as delusional.
None of what I just wrote it ever going to happen. Why would any of the people who helped destroy me and my life give up any payment or opportunity they were given in return? Human sacrifices do not usually come back and make the takers pay. The point is to take from the living person thier energy. And most people into that sort of thing are pretty well satisfied with that sort of system and the benefits they gain from it.
You will never change thier nature. They cannot be healed they cannot be changed, they cannot be satisfied unless they feed off energy recieved in this way. You can expose them all you want but they have all the power in this situation and we are just a small group who is somehow smart enough to know the nature of what is transpiring.
Ritual abuse is never going to go away and the kiddie freaks that seem so prevalent in the gang stalking system are never going to change either. They will always be control freaks, manipulators and into destroying another human being for thier own benefit.
Go f*ck yourself if that is how you speak to me after all I have been through and that my life will only be in the product of one mere book when I could have had years of productivity in the arts and councilling. The difference between ME and every reader, observer, TI or survivor who thinks like this is that I am realistic about what I am up against and I know the nature of the people involved. Its why I have survived so long against situations that most people wud not have. Some humans are born into this system, bound to it to be sacrificed. Its an ancient practice and there is no getting around it. Most other humnans either dont care, dont realize its a reality or they have a primitive part of themselves actually approving of the ritual and wether they admit it to themselves or not- take part in some way.
You are a fool to believe that this system would ever give up any of its victims or allow the person to have any sort of life. The people involved are the nastiest human beings I have ever run into and they themselves reek of fear, insecurity and ritual indoctrination into the groups with severe abuse. Its a chain of trauma and abuse and there is no way to stop it, heal it or get rid of it.
However, mapping out what happened and who was involved is good enough, becuz them at least there is some record of it. Its mapping out another time line, where the TI would have had a very different life had covert activity not interfered. You make that timeline exist once you reveal why the one that we are focusing on now is false, not random and did not come into existence naturally.
The deception is that I am most likely homeless and half dead due to my own WIll or my own actions. THAT needs to be cleared up and when it is, I can finally rest. You just dont get it do you. This is torture, death and the taking of souls or energy so that others may succeed, survive or exist. There is nothing new or shocking about it. The more realistic you are about the situation you are in the more power you have within it. Dont expect to win, get restitution or ever get your life back. It just doesnt happen that way. This system is not designed to produce happy successful people. Perhaps it squeezes artistically talented people to death so they produce more work or are so deeply wounded that their work is compelling, but the system has no right to do that either and one can tell that its to keep smart creative people from having any hand in changing the world into a better place. It keeps us focused on things that sell better in the arts: tragedy, drama, action, loss, etc.
Only when the TI or survivor can act upon thier own WIll fully is anything ever made good for them again. This system will never allow that to happen so you better get used to just telling what its like to suffer through this and checking out.
Get real will you?