I realize that part of the problem was sleep deprivation. I was having sleep interrupted or woken early in both places I had tried becuz other homebum or shelter types of homeless were there.
I was also getting some annoying health issues that one only gets from those types of homeless. U can get lice from other travelers or scabies but Ive never encountered mites, bed bugs or other very annoying stuff that distracts you during the day when trying to be productive the way I have with shelters or this lame ass tent shelter they have here.
The tents are moldy from rain and the sleeping bags they have are not the cleanest. Women that come in to sleep are street people who do not understand Traveler's rules of staying healthy and keeping gear clean-like not allowing gear to touch anyone elses unless you are sure of their cleanliness and health.
The people who work there are homeless too and they are pretty cool especially the security. If only the concept could be perfected it would work alot better. Like hygiene standards.
I slept in an area where i got checked on by some people for safety. I now realize i do best on a flat surface outside alone in open air. Wooded areas were ok before my allergic reaction condition in 2009 but now the threat of a snake or spiders or even offensive flora ruins the woods for me. A spider bite usually means lots of benedryl, in Cambridge a white one bit me and that was a trip to the er. Made me trip out like a hallucinogen and then of course hours of intermittent attempts at my throat closing, which it wud without benedryl.
This was all so much easier before that Bactrim induced anaphylaxis.
I believe that mold in the shelter dorm and these tents as well as sleep deprivation was probably why my anxiety became a problem. I think the new Salvation Army building is wired for hitting TIs though, it has a camera system and two wifis no one uses nor has the passcodes for and they are very weird about it when u ask about it.
So i cannot tolerate the two main homeless services downtown. There shud be some alternative places. Then again TIs really don't fit into any of the options. Squat houses, shelters, tent cities, hostels- they all have people who wud be a problem for the target.
Everyone thinks i am stupid but this situation is impossible to deal with effectively. Being targeted is like trying to exist in an enemy war zone where they keep trying to capture you. Sure you can deceive people who don't know who u r or u have allies but theres always spies around and the people of the enemy state will turn on you in a second.
America has always treated me like an enemy. Except for certain cultures where they are either trying to handle me for the system or they genuinely believe in my struggle.
You end up sustaining on the people who dont know and allies, as the enemy state you are in constantly tries to destroy you, keep you down or modify you to their accepted standards.
Friday, June 14, 2013
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