Heavy gang stalking like EVERYWHERE, all the time EVERYDAY in this area. I think Ive been here too long, a year now and its probably the longest I've spent here since I became targeted 24/7 and started to travel when I became homeless in 2006.
There isnt a moments peace and people are doing tactics everywhere I go, people or locations you could tell before were in on it by thier behavior but they just didn't do anything tactical. Just gave me attitude or something like that or people working in a certain place gave me a hard time now its a blanketing of consistent gang stalking tactics.
I think they dont want me staying in one place this long becuz I will get well known to people locally. I could be an attempt to continue to keep me 'on the run' like in years before.
The environment here is ultimately depressing and causing hopelessness around my completing my project. Giving up trying is definitely being pushed and its different from years prior where torture might have been present causing hopelessness or depression in a temporary moment where I could come back from it or it would cause a level of torment I could push against and still function.
Now its the effect Ive never had before which is to give in based not on adversity directly going up against me but the idea that no one cares, no one is listening, my work does not matter, its been too long, its gone too far, the world is bigger than I am, in the big picuture I dont matter and I am just one person. The worst is that one person was sacrificed so that alot of people could benefit.
Just settle down, dont travel, let alot of things go.
Its a strange effect I have never encountered or perhaps I have I just always left the area. WTF is this anyway? How can whatever they are using Monday-Friday be so effective in convincing a long time activist whos work is based on thier life being taken from them that that life's work is now unworthy of being finished or that one person's ambitions or goals dont matter in relation to society?
Its a total destruction of my individuality. Its like they are marketing integration into society here in this area. The now constant gang stalking, this obsession with trying to figure out why things have changed since Menino died and becoming bitter towards his time in office (which is unfair becuz I cant be sure if life was better or worse during his time as mayor. It just seems that torture was used but I had less instances of daily interactions with perps blanketing the area EVERYWHERE I went).
Its amazing the demotivational effect. To no longer have the desire to call lawyers or even ask about my situation? They are making me feel very bad and unimportant and certainly are using my having a backpack and being 'homeless' against me everyday I travel around Boston moreso than Cambridge and using my probation situation against me, along with constant gang stalking everywhere in order to make me feel fallen from grace and/or shunned or isolated from the community.
The interface is still very much there and its really annoying. I get this false interface constantly that lots of people read my blogs, even the one that I dont have posted here as its content is different.
And I cant really write about what I want to freely. I cant think straight, I cant get out what I want to say, Im totally censored and kept down. I also have the effect of feeling like EVERYTHING I do, listen to on my mp3 or say or write is being monitored which is also new. NO PRIVACY at all, and that also goes away slowly on the weekends. People are reading supposedly but my work is of no consequence. Which isnt true becuz less people are reading my blog than ever before according to the stats that come up when I open it..which I ignore. Ive always just wanted to do this for myself or to expose the system for others or for my own revenge or self defense. I am now not allowed to please myself but must care about what society at large thinks or judges which is bullshit because I am kept isolated by perps and psy ops which is not society at large but a small controlled environment locally. Which of course they dont want me to leave now theyve had thier claws into me for a year.
Only on days like this, Saturdays and Sundays can I feel that the control breaks. Its like clouds breaking up and sunlight showing through. Ive posted this for years that in this area I often feel like I am not present in my body like I dont get to experience life organically. I have some independence some control. I can feel my strength in my body I can sense the space around me. I feel my own human strength and power, I feel I am in control and the interface is less.
This area of the country has become under total control using tourism and security since the bombing as excuses. Its not even a decent place to live anymore. It doesnt even exist, you cant realllly actually exist freely here as a human being.
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You can never give in to these assholes. If you do, you'd be giving in to inferiors who fancy themselves to be gods. It's such a joke, that people like the perps all throughout the system feel that they are gods who are above us, when they are just sick little assholes who are afraid of being exposed. It makes me angry when they try to write little "storylines" where they have us being failures, etc. Just little wimps with huge numbers, technology, and huge egos.
ReplyDeleteYou have to know you are making an impact whent they start their little "we've won, you're just one person, nobody cares" games. With me, it's similar, except the difference is more subtle. There has been the "nobody likes you" from that fat white lady perp, "nobody wants you" from the "girlfriend" perp I used to have, as well as cyberstalking perps, and I've gotten "nobody cares" from gangstalkers.
Haha, who listens to gangstalking perps anyways. They're just snot-nosed, snivelling little weaklinks anyways. Like we're going to listen to anything THEY have to say. One thing I got from gangstalkers was that I "look stupid". Why? Because I blogged how stupid they look with their arms hanging out of car windows? listen, it's dangerous and they're putting themselves at risk. But I know they're doing it specifically to work my psyche, that I look stupid not fitting in with sheeple and that I should be more like them. THEY are the ones who look stupid. They all dress the same, act the same, say the same things, use the same tactics. I guess by being as similar to one another as possible, they eliminate the self-consciousness that results from acting like juvenile fools when trying to get reactions from targets. They are afraid to "stand out" from the rest of the sheep. That's what they are afraid of: being different and not fitting in. Targets don't value hive thinking, so of course, we will always objectively see them as looking and acting like dumb puerile fools.
If you're getting the "give it up it's over" BS that I get, then you know you are doing something right. Just press on and try to get as much possible. Meanwhile, the sheep will be at home trying to figure out how their next-door neighbor is going to be dressing so they can fit in and be as like everyone else in the "community" (hive) as possible.
They are so comical the way they do things with their actions and speech to try to bring us down. Just they act so foolish it isn't funny. Who wants to see a bunch of mature adults acting like childish retards? We know we are doing something right when they pressure us more like this. We kick ass... they conform and cower.
believe the stats are lies. i always get redirected when i check your site, which hasn't been in months now, because of a pervasive suicide-level feeling that nothing i do or say matters. i have given up on everything i wanted to do/be. it feels like it has come from outside, tho. like it has been induced by something. only for me, the gangstalking stopped very abruptly at the onset of this hopeless wasteland of the mind that i have lived in since May or June. NOT being followed AT ALL is a shock to my system, but confirms to me how very real and very bad it was while it was going on. their absence becomes a message to me. as if i am dead already. like they've already won. i have been neutralized. and i wasn't even really fighting. you are a talented writer with a way of explaining this that is both accessible and believable. don't give up. sometimes being underground or deep inside a building helps. dolmens. or a cave/
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