Why am I not producing artwork again?

Uhh I spent over 12 hours today and trying to get it right. I wrote 4 peices one the perps erased on mean firemen here and the 3 that got published and one long one that I cant do right now. Its like when I was young. I was so mind controlled that I never knew or was allowed to know I was talented. If I was working on a picture in my 20's I would stay awake for 24 or more hours with no sleep. Drawings have to be finished becuz if they are at least not completed idea wise they will looke like something else later. The concept wont be the same.

I thought everyone did this and an artist was shocked and said that he never had THAT kind of drive. It made me so sad that I had missed out on my early 20's full power throttle that I went back into my mind control prison inside myself and wasted another 10 years. It was like I was not allowed to be that person, that talented driven person. A perp who was an art teacher looked at my taste in works and said snidely" how did your tastes get so advanced Rachel?" I felt like killing him becuz I have always had an understanding of what I was born good at....its jsut that tbmc slaves arent allowed to use their talents for themselves.

Your supposed to snuff it waaaayy before that ever happens. I am sorry but why are less talented people than I working and I am homeless?
Ohhh, thats right.

I am supposed to be driven to do a Valarie Solanis on someone, right? Well that isnt going to happen.
You know she was convinced she had some weird past and had all the isms of a TI, right?
And though her theories became warped by years of damage one can see how she actually approaches the theory of not needing men to procreate in something remnant to a mind with potential at one time.

And why did she shoot Warhol? Who was it really that kept at her and telling her in her head that he was stealing her ideas and controlling her thoughts?? HHmmmm?

If you are programmed you can plainly see the remnants of human beings that were either programmed and junked or human experiementees. Maybe someone wanted Warhol shot. I wasn't there but anyone who says something kept convincing them to do something this horrific in thier own minds...now with what we know one has to wonder.]

Yet another reason for silence. Dont you see. They would have people starting to question years of assassinations, 'accidents' etc on and on.
The tech has to be put out as new and innovative. It has to be put out as differently used so no one can make comparisons to its other potential uses.
TI's are a past that needs to go so that the future that is benefiting from years of covert ops and illegal human experimentation and unspeakable suffering can exist with a shiny new front.

Its like the cities gentrifying and just bulldozing the past. I beleive that the tech they will be used in future that has a horrific past is going to get a bright new future...with no dark history behind it.