I sometimes wonder, when I am free to ponder and my perceptions of myself and my situation are not being influenced or warped every moment by gangstalking perps, what the public think. I mean I get alot of crap from younger kids especially. Alot of ultimatley snobby ignorant comments. Snide asides like people poking fun at me 'becoming a beggar' by asking thier friends if they would do the same kiddingly (in earshot of course) or just walking past me and saying 'sick' or some other perception.
I honestly beleive that these people are so insulated from harm by thier families and thier wealth that they have no idea what is going on as far as what it would be like. Or perhaps some people are just wired to be socially insenstive and they just dont get it. Just dont get it. Like it just doesnt register..
I try to analize this younger generation...I try to think when I was younger. You think you know everything. That your all grown at 24 and sh*t. You got it all down. At 37 they still look like youngsters to me...the males look like toy versions of men my age. Their skin is too smooth and thier bodies still havent filled yet. From a full life of conquests, travel, activity and perhaps labor. They havent become rugged yet and this is what makes them pretty to look at but hard to take seriously. They are little works of art, like the young girls, like all young people and it aggrevates me that they do not understand it is thier place to stay that way.
At 37, in my more European mind that is always operating more on the primitive, I am an older woman who has not only lasted time but trials and in some long forgotten ancient culture I descend from I have earned respect. But not in America, no not in America.
I should be approaching Buddica levels of strength and determination....or at least Elisabeth the first as she appraoched 38 and learned what it takes to be 'a prince' at last.
But never in America, Never in America.
This country is a never ending never never land
that ends careers and lives
by simply and eloquently
denying they exist to begin with.
Only in America, only in America.
The loss of ancient wisdom...
forget that just plain common sense
pertaining to womanhood
and what should be in natures course
nature is under the concrete
and like the small grass that peeks out of a crack or two'
here and there
I beg on the sidewalk
and exist day to day.
Awful in America.
I miss my country.
In love with America.
I am the kind of woman who will stick around
to tend to things
way after the divorce.
Of me and America. Me and America.
I am sorry that I had not time to learn proper meter and all that in poetry. It was coming on wonderfully...then the covert wars came. And they came and took my talents away like soldiers in the night pillaging.
What do thier eyes see? Well it depends on what they know to begin with. Perps with superior intel will see me differently than people who are ignorant of all the circumstances involved.
What is most disturbing are people who know it all to begin with and still there is criticism.
There has got to be something wrong with them. Are the conspiracy theories correct? Did they put something horrible and dehumanizing in their innoculations as babies? Are they just mind controlled?
Why would the ultimate form of non violent protest be considered silly or a farce?
It makes no sense....some action had to be taken.