I have a doctors appointment and I'm all paranoid the doctors going to tell me I have some something serious like cancer. I know she found something because she wants to discuss the results.
I had my hip joint and leg x rayed and I know that my legs been going out from under me when I walk over the past year. I've been on the road with the backpack a long time and I'm getting older I was also outside carrying my bag more last year than I ever have been before. something like this was inevitable.
that medical procedure I had still shouldn't be bothering me and I'm hoping that they can just find out what it is and fix it. but I'm getting the feeling of doom is if its something more serious.
I posted how so many inconvenient people to the shadow system die of suicide, car accidents or cancer... activist, witnesses (like connected to 9-11 or the Kennedy assasination) or scientists or politicians who arent going to play ball with them.
The most common way for people like us to die are transportation accidents especially airplane and helicopters and cancer. Targeted Individual and activist Charles Schlund of AZ supposedly died that way right?
so why am I getting these feelings of doom? I was prepared for this. I went ahead with this project and activism in self defense fully prepared for any consequences of fighting back.
For anybody to feel bad for me now when the physical body gives out is totally inappropriate. people should have been feeling bad when I was having my mind and spirit crushed during Bush and early Obama. Those were the years of the worst possible torture you could imagine. specifically when Hayden was head of the CIA.
There's been a big effort lately, a subtle brainwashing daily, to behavior modify my feelings and reactions concerning those who have perpetrated war crimes against me over these years.
Forgiving these people even bonding with them is mainly what's going on. Michael Aquino, the Bush family etc.
I am to think of everyone as my friend and believe we're all at peace in this now.
What a clever way to not have to answer for what you did over the past 10 years. Beat victim down so badly that the person doesn't have resistance left. They're health is deteriorating, they're aging and so you think that you can just subtley coerce them into making nice with the people that destroyed their lives.
All day long I've been being subtly and repeatedly brainwashed into getting a lawyer, believing that I'm going to have a horrible diagnosis from the doctor that's terminal, that I should take that into consideration and feel bad about everything and give up my conviction. Also that the community in my hometown, after the bombing, now somehow believes me and has sympsathy for me and thinks I should write my book.
That I'm some kind of hometown hero now.
This is all other b******* to try and continue to neutralize me as a force they are afraid of and would rather not deal with.
It's amazing the stages of brainwashing that's gone on over the years. The different phases that you can tell have gone along with the progress and changes in technology as well as resources and access to equipment and manpower.
I have a right to still feel angry about what has happened I have a right to my aggression and I have a perfect right to not want to be at peace with these people or with this community or this society.
They're taking advantage of a few semi serious health issues to convince me that I'm old and sick and I need to go out to pasture.
They never give up trying to make me give in.
due to the way Im wired lets say, as well as the fact they started this I didnt, I resigned myself long ago to possibly death or severe injury for life due to this campaign and my fighting back.
Secondly the actions of other people, this system, the community, society or the world should have absolutely no bearing on what I am doing and have been doing all these years.
This project should not change simply because the world around me is changing.
Because the damn book Ive wanted to publish should have been written three years ago already.
Always remember and consider the fact that we live in a false time line anyway and the events and actions of the system over the last ten years have definately made it that way.
Why in the f*** should I consider anything going on around me in this particular space and time in relation to a continuous line that I've created for me and my work that Ive kept steady over these years and true to, when the two are in conflict with each other?
I'm going to tell the real story about how the world got the way that it is in this time and space: If you have a president that wins two consecutive elections through corruption, forces behind the scenes influencing events and even using mass mind control to get people to vote for his party on Election Day, when their choice would have been the opposing party that right there influences a large number of events and causes people and things into action that they would not have originally taken had things unfolded naturally.
Many of us are suffering daily and have been FOR TEN YEARS, intensely due to the fact that we have been serverely injured by the timeline being shifted, namely becuz our lives were so drastically altered from the natural timeline that we are stuck in the old timeline. Also, many of us experienced first hand the horrors of technomancy, 'black magick' energies and rituals as well as other things that went on in order to cause the shift. Bush once said somewhere in print something about his actions as president being biblical or bible worthy or of that magnitude. Every one of us who saw, who knows what went on to create the New World Order we live in today understands what he is talking about- and that he is correct.
What went on during Bush was truly mind blowing. Gang Stalking happens in stages in order to stretch the Target's mind slowly so that seeing these things doesnt cause immediate and permanent insanity.
Many of us who were witness to these events suffer most becuz most of society is unaware of what has transpired. So what are we supposed to do? We live lives that are a lie basically, hide what we know, which is incredible information and live as targeted people in severely limited capacities which is NOT what the original, natural timeline would have produced for an outcome.
We have become guardians at gates, holding onto time and space in order to preserve some sort of order. It takes all the strength we have. This pressure is possibly part of what makes people snap and become bombers and lone shooters. Survivors, experimentees and Targets know far too much about classified levels of things in this world and often are just normal people seemingly with no training to deal with such things. (Survivors of high level programming might have much that prepares us for this that we are not aware of. Whatever the case the powers that be know all this and manipulate Targets in such a way that instead of becoming examples of survivorship or bringers of enlightenment about subjects kept in mystery, they become predators and killers of the public.)
Many Satanist artists make fun of TIs and torment us by putting out artwork about being stuck between two worlds or living between the worlds or two realities. Thats what they do though, they try to keep us there. That is thier nature, that is what they exist on earth for I guess. It obvious what they are talking about and TIs who understand all that is going on know it. Just ignore it as usual.
My uncle once told me a story about how an entire town went insane being dosed with the first versions of LSD. That this was an extension of an old tale about a town or a person in some versions, who learns the meaning of life and becomes permananently insane. It makes sense.
This system has me focusing on Me,and how I relate to the community an awful lot in the past year to 2 years especially very recently. Which is obviously to help distract me from the more important higher purpose I am working on.
Its to make me forget my original purpose and to brainwash me into thinking the system's trying to help me.
David Bowie might be a jackass as his career shows he works for the system but in spite of himself there's a good lesson in that movie The Man Who Fell to Earth.
Especially those of you who are Survivors of programming or RA- there is a system in place that will try to destroy all of what you are and make you forget your original purpose.
The way that they treat people and how abusive the system is to survivors and targeted individuals we just can't let that happen.
nobody knows about our work anyway usually and if they do they don't believe the stories because of the level of abuse as well as the metaphysical and clandestine nature of the things that we've experienced so who cares with the community or average society anyway?
Let them just keep thinking that you or I are some homeless person on the street or whatever they see on the outside.
believe me there's a whole hidden world of people on this planet who know who you are who I am and where we fit in. let the common people think what they like.
If this werent true I wouldn't have been assisted and I wouldn't be alive writing this right now. the only choice they have is to claim that you're mentally ill which covers up gang stalking, classified projects and black ops, everything. Becuz the hidden world exists that's been around since antiquity they're not supposed to see it anyway and they never have.
just because we live in a modern world where your average person is educated has good health and the sciences helps everybody in first world countries in the Western world doesn't mean that civilization is ready for the world of hidden mysteries. they just think something like that cant exist because they think they know everything they think they have access to all the information on the Internet.
The joke is it they do have access if they look this stuff up and did research study comparing they could actually find out what's really going on. fact that they choose not to and choose to accept easy answers from corrupt institutions that are very questionable like psychiatry shows that they can't handle it.
Its very sad that one of the main deceptions in the modern Western world is to put much of the metaphysical realities that occur in the incredible spiritual lives of people like Targets into mere video games or less often sci fi movies. Its a trick so that average people believe those things are just stories- make believe. Its an incredible waste of spiritual energy.
Ive watched kids play these games like Syrim and they have no problem killing an innocent just so that the Dark Brotherhood will come seek them out to do assasinations. They think that such things are only make believe so they have no problem making such moral choices as, per usual with manipulating the public THEY DO IT BECUZ THERE DOESNT SEEM TO BE ANY CONSEQUENCES.
Its made me think if, perhaps, many people 'play' in the gang stalking games becuz like vid games there are no consequences and you get a payoff. Its as if these games are trainin them to take part in covert ops and metaphysical events, so they dont realize that in real life- there ARE consequences for your actions.
You know, we are monkeys. We simply have divinity, a creative 'god'spark. It takes work to be just more than an animal, more than trainable and controlable. To be truly human, you have to pay attention to the fact that you are more than just an animal and take responsibility for that. If you choose not to do so, then its on you and there ARE consequences.
Those video games appeal to the animal within humans thus trapping us into our dumb animal side. Do you honestly enjoy playing a game like Skyrim? Im bored by all the killing firstly, and its not even real life violence which sucks. Then, you are given 'quests', which males seem to like to engage in completing but to me, perhaps its just a female mind thing- it seems like just a To Do list which I have enough of in real life.
It does seem that males get sucked into these games more than women and I am wondering if its a way of keeping modern males enslaved as well as as far as possibly from thier spiritual sides or investigating spiritual truths.
Video games are just stupid. You have no idea how many times Ive peeked at the David Icke forums and some jack ass cant admit that Skyrim or Oblivion or some other game is chocked full of metaphysical references to the classic occult stuff that is REAL that people have studied for millenia. They immediately go into this safe zone of denial and then quickly claim that the beauty of video games is that none of it is real. I think those people are higher level perps- total disinfo agents.
Video games have taken humans away from everything from nature to studying the occult in earnest and seeking truth from the mysteries. Its to convince modern man that he is beyond such things that such ideas are make believe from an ignorant human past. Science is also making people believe that what you see or what THEY present or say is all there is.
With all that is in the modern world, modern humans are pretty much ending up dumbed down slaves. Computers appeal to our internal computers, our imaginations are captured by the virtual worlds online or within tech and everything else is designed to appeal to our animal sides as in manipulating us in very predictable ways to react certain ways to stimuli.
Its a very sad reality we live in. THIS IS ALL BECUZ OF THE INFORMATION THAT IS HIDDEN FROM PEOPLE about what humans are actually capable of in the 21st century. Also, we are not paying attention to our environment which, by the way, our animal bodies need to breath air, drink water and plant/eat food. After all the attention to environmental issues in the 90s, its shocking to experience a world that doesnt seem to realize that the technologies they are obsessed with are products of planned obsolescence- basically a throw away culture for tech. What we think is sooooo advanced is really just mere toys to appeal to our monkey sides, and with the ability to trap our superior creativities and imaginations. Our spirituality is manipulated along the way or made a non issue all together.
Why is it not possible to have a system where the tech we love so much for escapism (to replace recreational drugs, socializing and experimenting or TRUE to life spiritual adventure or questing) and world wide communications isnt something thats set up to last? Why does there have to be a new gadget every year? All that plastic and other material and the factories that manufacture them has to be polluting the environment.
Bush ceased the 90's. He made everyone forget. He made everyone desperate for a way out of the harsh reality. And he and his elite have succeeded.
But consider the fact that average people are not going to be invited into the Virgin space shuttle to go live on Mars with the elite nor the space station. Personally, I wouldnt want to. I like it here. And we should preserve it instead of try to destroy it.
Man senses that the environment is disturbed. That our home is doomed someday. That electromagnetic and other kinds of pollution are poisoning us to death NOW not in some future reality. We know there are too many people on the planet and actually these technological trickeries they have invented assist us in forgetting that for a time.
Many of us who live outside have experienced how the radiation in the environment is somehow mixing with the sun and the heat of the day in hot places to create a horrible environment thats toxic to humans- if you work inside then drive home or take a train home to sleep inside you are not going to experience this occuring.
These are the tricks that the powers that be are using to divert people's attentions from age old spiritual matters, truth as well as the harsh reality that our environment may not sustain us much longer.
People have got to understand that the elite live in a completely different 21st century reality than average people who are being tricked into living in a manufactured different world.
The evidence I have seen that the Boston bombings were actually a hoax in part is astounding. People are so dependent on the news that they believe whatever is told to them now and in part thats becuz people believe that technology cant lie to them. They believe that progress in tech has brought truth to life. For some reason they have forgotten the possibility for deception, evil, misuse and manipulation. I guess they are force focused on foreign and now domestic terrorism as 'the evil' to watch for in the world.
It seems like what is happening is that some force of intelligence somewhere has decided that they are going to create two societies- one for the sheep, obviously that is what we are seeing happen in front of our eyes and can barely believe it, and one for...us.
What I want to know is where are we supposed to go with all this info? Knowing that the NWO is basically a hoax, that its all based on deception?
It doesnt seem like the powers are tolerant of any sort of truly alternative societies. Perhaps if we form one and we do not contact the NWO and thier sheep, we will be left alone.
Perhaps the point of being Targeted is not to wake up society or make them aware as its obvious they are not interested in reality. Perhaps the task is to create an alternative New World, just for us. People who dont want to live in the deception and are obviously never going to be welcome in the New World Order. Perhaps this is possible becuz as far as I can tell the only thing I am going to accomplish out here is to slowly die off sleep deprivation, getting sicker and older living as a homeless woman. Perhaps its true that America is now off limits, its hopelessly gone and there has to be a search for someplace new to dwell on the globe somewhere.
But where will the corporations, special interests, MIC etc stop? Where can we go that they will not come and exploit or try to take over? Americanize, which is like a frickin disease destroying the world right now.
If I travel I am going to have to immediately tell everyone I am ashamed to be born here and I hate it and left becuz it sucks. However, I wonder if letting people know about an alternative America is a positive action?
Its not in the old 20th century places it was. Anarchist houses and such seem all inflitrated by snooty kids or PC kids or even perps probably due to their being drug dealers. The old kinds of people who were rebelling just cant be trusted anymore. There has to be now a new definition of who is truly rebelling against the NWO.
First in order to do that, people have to have all the information about what is really going on. What has made this time line come into being. Becuz I know I personally want to spend the remainder of my life in freedom not the prison America has become. Its going to suck to leave home but it doesnt exist anymore does it.
Harvard Sq is basically a physical space in a timeline thats been altered through false means just like the rest of the country, into being what the NWO wants it to be. All that remains that cant be sucked into the new false reality are the old Masonic or what you want to call it, magickal structures around Harvard- built obviously by some VERY wise forefathers and original inhabitants.
One of the main purposes of the NWO in America is to get rid of any and all magickal structures that represent the powers of either Native peoples or Europeans expressing ancient pagan systems secretly through churches or other structures. This has gone on in alot of refurbishing of buildings.
Boston has gotten rid of pretty much all statues of Mother Mary. Hospitals, churches etc. Why is that? Becuz Catholics know she's not some blessed Virgin- she represents the ancient pagan female goddessses of Europe in the only safe way we could preserve them throughout our enslavement by the Churches.
Whoever is doing this- wants to erase our past, present and future and create nothing but a total false reality for humans to live in where, the NWO is or creates for us our only gods and what we percieve as power.
I know one thing for sure: This is unacceptable.