Too late for me, isnt it.

http://cns.miis.edu/pubs/week/070608.htm

Well, at least some of what has happened to me is now explained. What the fuck are they trying to achieve with all this? I honestly dont understand.... I was in my apartment in Brighton, the ex had been moving away slowly and I was going thru stuff-alone. I asked for help but as usual it was stalemate stonewall all the time. I was targeted no I realize and started to act freaked out. the muscle spasms i had neve made any sense to me. anyway, these NLW on top of harrasment and emotional and mental abuse from the organized stalking system-- why would you do this to someone who was trying to change her life?

If this is there idea of behavior modification they are way off. How can anyone judge me correctly when all they see is the results of me being targeted, set up and people i asked for help not gving me what i needed?

I realize what i am dealing with is a hostile force towards me that is subjecting me to this becuz i deprogrammed and either refused to obey suicide programming or they purposely made it so i could fight it so i would survivive and they could go thru with this behavior modification program.

There is absolutley no other reason for me being targeted or treated this way. I was not dangerous and if i was percieved as such it is becuz i was portrayed as such.

This is why nobody should have these weapons. Law enforcement are waaayyy to corrupt to be responsible with this kind of power. Humans in general are too irresponsible to handle any of these weapons. Look at what the culmative effect has been on me.
I am aged unatraully my health will never recover my artistic talents have suffered my creativity is gone and my intel has been lowered significantly.

These weapons are being used on people who pose a threat to crime syndicates, the public will go along with it out of fear and various other reasons any individual might have. Jealousy, hatred of women, elitism.

So this is the society we have built and it will stay this way. Someone gets targeted and everyone finds excuses as to why the person deserves it...the gangstalking system ensures the slander will fullfil that need.

Great and convenient way to get rid of old programmed persons who might start remembering stuff.
Notice how it mentions protection from 'deranged persons'...all they would have to do, especially if they are aware you are deprogramming , is to say you pose a threat and you might snap and i am sure then you can have these weapons used on you for the reasons of security mentioned.

But i wasnt doing anything like that. I was having difficulty with figuring my way out of deprogramming but i was fairly happy peaceful and trying to be healthy.

It s the gangstalking system that set me up to get me to become frustrated and angry. They targeted me then i am sure AFTER the results of that i was portrayed as angressive dangerous whatever. My case is a stellar example of how this system can simply be used to get rid of a innately good person who is simply inconvenient and whom people are jealous of.

Alot of people mentioned that what was being done to me was wrong or that i had been misrepresented and gotten a 'raw deal'.

its easy to take advantage of people who are mind control survivors. Inside thier protective armor they have a gentle core, especially if you are female. then there is the added advantage the enemy has that it almost impossible for us to 'tell' on anyone or abuse that is happenign to us. Also, privacy is a primary ingredient in who and what we are.

These weapons are being used in behavior modification of people that is damaging to the individual over time.
These manipulative strong arm tactics are very damaging to a person. In my experience their final goal is to burn away your programming and even your core personality to make you into someone else-a total personality change.

What they dont tell you is that the use of sexual stimulation as well as anchoring that stimulation to the stalking and harrassment is key to the triumph over the targets will.

You will eventually change as a person out of fear of furhter intimidation and somehow the sexual stimulation along with the perps minimaizing the abuse and everyone not admitting to what is going on will result in you falling into a brainwashed/mind controlled state where you actually begin to go along with what they are doing. You believe it.

think about it. Fighting them results in pain.
going along with them results in pleasurable sensations (no matter how much humiliation adn shame is there from you knowing your being forced into somehting that insults who you really are).

Along with that is very quiet constant suggestion.

the culmitive affect of these weapons along with terrorist tactics from the stalkers and the other things i have mentioned will result in the complete transformation of the person and thier personality. They will, out of fear and sheer tiredness (beat down, forced into it) will begin to actaully think and feel that what this system has done to them is for the best and this new personality is good for all. Another key in getting the target to believe it is to make sure the person cant face any of the original perps who crossed them or harmed them. The target must always be humiliated and shamed into feeling at fault and less than.
The target must never be allowed to get revenge or even to be angry over what has been dont to them by others.
This is why i had to be marketed as aggressive or dangerous becuz they saw in me a strong abilty to fight back and they used this against me-if i was angry about the total destruction of my life then they would exaserbate it more, then try rto get people to upset me so i would 'snap'- then they would have control by jail or institution.

But if i am forced to endure and have to put my anger aside as well as handle further daily insults with a smile to ensure they did not make me 'snap' then that, along with the sexual stimulation,continued humiliation, the perp rationalizing of the targeting thru intimations in conversations and the minimization/denial basically leads you to become thier 'bitch'...its also classic brainwashing.

Its also classic deprogramming techniques that have proven detrimental to the mind control survivor.

I beleive everone thinks this is for the better. alot of jealous people would rather see a person like me docile and feminized, working in some office being at 'peace' finally than writing a play or working on my art work or councilling sex workers.

They want a woman with minimal 'normal' sex drives that a man doesnt have to be in competition with. A woman who wont argue with a male authority figure. A woman who is now reduced to a scared beaten little girl who is in need of male protection. A non agressive female who is also non assertive. A female who fits in better with her social class and the system of poverty. Someone who doesnt advocate for themselves, or ask too many questions..or notice screw up sor inconsistencies.
Someone who cowers before law enforcement (a.k.a: fake respect) no matter how corrupt they may be or have been. A female who is not so smart as expected of her social class and education level.

I am to be reduced...am being reduced to not special and horibbly average.
My looks have already suffered greatly. I look average, why not destroy my mind as well right?

When i was younger I was in the Tasty in Harvard Square.A woman looked at my eyes and then commented " you have a beautiful spirit" . That is ultimatley what they want to destroy above all else....they like to take any things you may possess which would lead you to gain worldy power such as looks, charm, innate good taste, talent, high intel, determination, ambition.
But they have succeeded beyond all else if they destroy the truest power any human can possess- goodness, godliness, healing energy....beauty of the spirit.

Why this is something for them to do I dont know...why they have to have it.

Maybe being spirited is a threat to national security nowadays or something.

If you are deprogramming you'll have to work very hard to get to your inner spirit. Then when you do beware...you are a security threat i guess.
And they will f*ckin slam you. They wil take advantage of all the other parts of your programming to either frame you up to look like you deserve this or/ burn you out.

You'll be dealing with alot of misinformed possibly fearful people that beleive every programmed person is a nut who will become a lone gunman--you might be lucky like me and have your shrink approached to write a bogus letter like the one i got when she finally got appraoched and caved in -a letter that is basically a formula or equation (shrinks are in the sciences remember) that = "this person is at risk for 'snapping'".. Its all bullshit but the gangstalkers who dont know anybetter will beleive it.

Remember, you MUST be set up too look like you NEED to be hit with these weapons and behavior modified etc etc. The people at the top know its to cover thier asses and surpress evidence of mind control. Also as you go down, alot of people will take advantage so it become imperitive you get destroyed one way or another to protect thier little cronies who sold you out so you dont get any revenge on anyone.

thats why i have been hit alot latley with accepting the idea...

Get this: that I deserved this, that I was a bad person and needed cleansing or modifying, that I was too energetic and aggressive and now i'll be at peace and that's for the better for everyone.
That all the guilty parties who helped in my downfall were ok in what they did, that they did nothing wrong, that it is I who was wrong all down the line. I am totally to blame.
They seem to want me to take on a version of events that supports the innocents of all the perps and has me taking on all the blame for events.

Which, without my and others versions of events is prob presently 'the official' version of events out there anyway-but people arent stupid you know. People know i was railroaded.

Once again we are dealing with nothing more than the old deception tactics-
1)95 % truth + 5% lies = a lie that works for the perp.
2)Pushing a target into circumstances that are already set up for them as 'the truth'. Foreshadowing.

Plus there is the good old 'nobody is going to beleive you ' that is really starting to stick in my mind. its not that nobody is going to beleive me, its that i dont think anyone cares or that believing me is not as benificial as trashing me as the loser in the game.

What this is all designed to do ultimatley is get the target, thru all the means i have mentioned, to give into what the perps present as all pervsive peer pressure, that everyone sides with thier views and that i am best off givng in to this lowly status and knowing my place.

This might work if it wasnt for the fact that my internal systems have no use for their outside reality if it interferes with what i am doing. I do not need to be accepted nor happy as long as my mission is completed...then i can rest where they'll be no perps or deceptions anyway.

I will not give in to lies thru the abuse of power.
Power is all these people are going to have when its all finished anyway becuz they will never get me..ever.

The choice has been made. They keep offering me a life as long as i play peaceful ghost. Permanent loser of the game. As long as i move on and go along with being the fall guy i can have a meager boring existence as a nurse(they keep pushing that for some reason) or other mind numbing slave/caretaker job, and perhaps if i am a good little girl i wil be allowed to meet a man who will marry me and expect me to be complient and faithful and leave all the Big Decisions up to him. This is the ideations I am getting from the targeting.

I am expected to go along with what is basically psycho surgery to alter me from being a beautiful more European sort of woman into an average American lower middle class prole.

This is what they have planned for me. This is the life i am to accept or else die in constant pain fighting for truth and reality.

Also, i find myself being brainwashed into many very conservative beliefs. I guess i am to internalize these as part of my overhaul as a person.

The only reason anyone would go along with this is out of sheer fear from being terrorized.
Really thier offer is either conform to the standards we have for you or die....what's odd is i find myself peaceful with this, mindless. I find myself givng in and actually wanting to please the authority figure..not out of hard work thus reward but a mild sort of feeling that i am totally controlled therefore its safe to go along with what these mostly male authorites want.. and the belief that they have for me that i will be happier if only i do this. That i will have a pecaful good life. But i know this urge is from becoming dazed from the constant terrorizing and social isolation. Plus, this chioce would also stop the toruture of PTSD. Forget, forget forget.....(dont compartmentalize-really truly forget. Let is all go and become this new person.)

Its all so creepy. I find myself brainwashing myself with my inner dialogue. Like i've snapped into total mind controlled mode or something after years of beat down and abuse and targeting and hatred and humiliation from the public. I repeat in my head, i tell myself all these things and really accept the brainwashing.

then afterwards my true self returns and sonthing says dont give up , dont let them win, they are wrong you know it. and i snap out of total moony mode. its like being abducted and brainwashed by a cult thats all i can compare it to.

I am to give up all my creative endevors and jsut accept that i am average. its so fucked but i can see how they make it work..when you are afraid to rent a place becuz they'll just break in again its a little hard to plan to write or do anything. and still every day there is little harassemtns and interestingly i notice people very interested in my phone calls if i am on the bus. I dont even want to beleive there are that many informants around or people willing to be invovled in controlling my daily life. But its ben that way across the country, but in boston i get a false sense of security i guess.
Its intersting how in this article it states something about a high level of monitoring to ensure target safety. This may be why targets are survielled constantly as behavior modification is employed.

The greates part is the area where it is stated that psych drugs and othe drugs are used as NLW's.

Great article.

Please give me all your best projections, your energy. I neeed it right now. (others call it praying if they are religious) I am becoming the puppet they want me to be and i will resist with all my might.
I should not have to become someone that is not really who i am jsut to please a group of criminals.