Years ago when I had to go homeless out of 335 because it was moldy and the company wouldnt fix it I stayed at Pine St Inn. The place was awash with comments of me being a 'sucka' and i am sure anyone affiliated with the homeless scene thinks that now.
Thus a man who has been around me for the last few months. L. lives in one of those pine street owned buildings on Park Drive. He has done nothing over the past few months other than whine constantly that the staff are harassing him and spying on him incessantly. The woman in the morning, C and the evening guy are stalkers no doubt who enjoy peeking in people's windows and walking in front of the doors to the rooms and listening. The woman is especially disturbed. One day it was so bad that she gave me an anxiety attack just by her listening and peeking in the window. Stalkers have this power becuz its not what they are doing it is how they are doing it. Their vibe is just incredibly...violent even though its muted passive aggression. After dealing with an organized stalking campaign that has turned 24/7 since 2003 I had very little nerves left.
I tried to make him understand he is targeted to get him out of the building, his friends said the same that they want him out. When I tell him that his situation is similar to mine he now says no, as if I am simply a crazy person and his situation is different. And he bitches that people don't believe him as well.
This person baited me with needing a place to stay. I have stayed there off and on and becuz of his behaviors it has been very stressful at times. Here I am being targeted with no place to go and no one to turn to or help me and this person is not only whining like his life is sooo bad but constantly making comments that one day I will realize he is a good guy and sleep with him. And he was always markedly nicer to me when I had money and was willing to pay for extra little things on top of the 10 dollars a night I was paying to stay there, which is way less than he pays per day to live there. Also this is the guy who likes to say things like " I beleive they are going to round up all the homelesss people one day" and then look over to see my reaction. (manipulative)
This belief is a common one among brainwashed TI's who are handled by groups designed to use their fear and vulnerability to hook then into spreading disinformation and become totally paranoid. I have never given in to being totally paranoid, that would give the American public a way out and that is something they do not deserve. People need to own up to corruption in law enforcement and this system of enslavement that sells humans off to illegal experimentation for powerful entities. The populace needs to be made responsible instead of getting to blame the Target or make the TI look crazy.
He was good for a while other than his erratic behavior which made my situation more difficult but it was worth it: I had someone to be friendly with and a familiar place to be here and there during the week. Then he stopped panhandling. Like he didnt need money any more. That is always a red flag for a TI becuz it means possibly you've been sold out for money or a deal that makes that persons life easier..it could have been that he just had other means or that he wanted to take a break from it for a while.
He was still ok to be around. Then he started to let this idiot stay there, a scalper that everyone says is 'no good'. Considering who the scalpers are I should have thought about that more closely but hey, I am busy being targeted and harassed everyday and documenting it, working on my writing. I dont have time for more nonsense ...anyway this idiot was taking time away from me being there and I wasn't happy. This guy had a bad habit that I dont think my friend was aware of until too late.
Another red flag with possible perps is controlling behavior that is overboard. L seemed to enjoy tormenting this guy every time he did some small thing wrong. I have experienced this myself once when I was very depressed on the street one day and sort of looking down while sitting. After standing in front of me for a while I looked up and he stated " you know Rachel you could look up once in a while.. I have been standing here". It was disturbing...he is very manipulative and guilting is his specialty. He is your typical who thinks the world owes him something which is obnoxious as hell as perps have tried to infer that that is what I am about while I struggle to write and live homeless and work everyday living under duress. How dare they and how dare he. This is what I mean by opportunists. They not only try to get what they can from a TI who is vulnerable they will use a TI to make themselves feel better emotionally..on a perp level this serves to minimize what the TI is going through.
(However the perps can take someone and make them not want to help a TI any more thus the TI gets more support taken away and then the TI gets mad at the person unsure if once again its friend of foe. People dont understand the severe trauma and mental deterioration as well as the deterioration of the nerves and physical health that TI's undergo. It is worse than anything you could imagine. This is why no one beleives the TI or they just disgard the person like everyone else. No one wants to look at how cruel and destructive this is..no one.)
I bitched about it on the street and some panhandlers who have pulled shit before and want to get rid of competition fucked with L's mind and sure enough it was " you put my business out on he street". I cannot beleive the insensitivity to my daily struggle. It's criminal what i have gone through. The whole thing is just an attempt to beat me down using him if they can or him using what they said if he can. They want me out and he wants me under his control so he can fuck me or whatever else he wants. its never going to happen
You realize of course that everything that is done to me, this whole system is what they do to every vulnerable person that they want to get rid of. They make a horrible loner out of you then they try to get you labled and act as if none of it happened and if that doesnt work they try to harass you so hard you snap. That usually works on men..they take advantage of testosterone-the poor things.
(I am so sorry that they do that to you my brothers and please do not give in, you must live to tell. Not give them what they want. )
If you don't fall for any of this and you still insist that you are a person with human rights and keep on insisting on surviving and exposing the system it seems humanities last resort is to simply ignore you and just keep you down.
You wont die, you refuse to let them coax you into a label for ultimate discreditation and will not be pushed to reacting so you get put away.
You won't melt either just melt away and go quietly, go hide somewhere and whittle your days away awaiting natural death. What other option do they have? They must ultimately choose to deny what is REALLY happening.
Recently L.'s friend died and it was under strange circumstances. It was sad really. Ever since then the staff and some mean tenants have really picked on L. The staff have a little pathetic spy network in there with some lesbian tenants..L has been harassed by them in the past. When his friend died reportedly they stated " are you happy now?" At one point I was going to go after them and find out exactly who all these people are but I figure I have enough to do and he messes with too much anyway.
So its been hard for him. Of course the control freak woman during the day just lost her sense of control when that guy died and is completely unhinged now.
Of course the system has helped L become a jerk by making him feel less of a man for not being domineering towards me. That is used alot if a male of a gentler nature is helpful to me I have seen it before.
Weak minded people are never an asset to a TI who is already weakend to begin with and the system knows it.
So lately L has been not talking to me when I stay over there and treats it like...like he is tired or I am a bother. It's more manipulation becuz he didnt get what he wanted or to blame the TI for circumstances beyond the TI's control.
That is what the system does to us constantly..blame us for things beyond our control. That is why the gs networks need to use the tactics that they do. The invasions of privacy and humiliations add to a sense of guilt which is useful when using the blaming tactics.
Strangley last week I stayed there my friend kept saying that it was ok to stay more days. Then of course this week they said he overused the allotment of days that a guest can stay and he now doesnt want any guests over. He has been unfriendly anyway lately.
I think he did that last week becuz he knew that this week they would say something and then he had an excuse to say I coulndt stay here anymore. He never should have let me stay to begin with if it was a problem. I encountered constant stress by feeling stalked and harassed while over there. He would also over dramatize it and make it like it was having to snaeak around all the time...this is not his fault. This is what happens to someone who is being targeted. They become hyper vigilante and obsess what is being done to them. I did the same thing at 335 Washington in Brighton, MA when this first turned 24/7.
This system of social control via stalking and harassment has been implemented into workplaces and if you notice it is all around you. There is the new idea of the 'hovering parent' in social circles and that is what our society has to live with everyday now. The hovering parent. In the mbta the employees hover to make sure you can use the new machines properly but we all know it serves another purpose. Cameras are everywhere.
If it makes you feel safer then you are being handled becuz I have seen the constant opportunity for unquestioned corruption that this system has brought. How can you question anything when you are basically always being monitored/questioned in essence by constant 'hovering'?
I am saddened by the loss of my friend if he ever was a friend to begin with. Perhaps he was always just an opportunist who knew who and what I am and simply could not get what he wanted.
I am also now faced once again with no place to go in an emergency. I hate the shelters. They are unhygienic and they want to treat you like a child or worse becuz you are homeless.
I have become better at realizing that people just want to get to me to get something from me or make a name for themselves but what is fucked about that is that I unlike a rich person or a celebrity have nothing for myself and cant just NOT talk to anyone.
The system has put me out there as a hunted animal and everyone is just ignoring it or trying to get something as well.
This is the ultimate example of what happens when law enforcement doesnt protect citizens from crime. Crime takes over and everyone has to do what the crooked system wants. Especially if law enforcment is actually helping perpetrate the crime..then you are treated like an ememy of the state if you dare not drop dead or worse yet..gasp!- actually try to do activism and stand up for yourself; HOW DARE YOU you horrid little victim-who do you think you are? WE make the rules!! (okay then, why do I exist to fight and question them? DUHHH).
Law is especially useless when they prove they are no longer serving thier functions properly by playing both sides and still demanding respect--on both sides. As well as claiming that there are no problems in the system-that the threat comes from outside in the form of terrorism. DOES NOT COMPUTE.. and it never will. No matter how badly you beat a targeted person down or break them or attempt to brain wash them or intimidate them into 'forgetting' about corruption.
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