Please be advised that this written work is theory. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. I have no actual belief in these theories as fact . If so I would've taken legal action by now. Until that occurs this blog can only be considered theorizing.
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This is an educational blog for awareness as well as sometimes a telling of candid personal experiences to demonstrate theories as they might be experienced by a person who theoretically is existing under such conditions.
Being a reasonable person of sound mind if I had concerns for my safety or others I would take responsible action for self care as my established medical history can demonstrate.
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Be warned no further interference with my production of meaningful work as an artist and activist will not be tolerated.

ALERT! New Series Of Posts Dealing With Urgent Issues

Please read these posts in a series created spread awareness of urgent issues to anyone perhaps looking for alternative theories for information.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Losing My Grip Lately..And I Know Why

Whatever was done to me in Portland OR last year during that abortion procedure is one of the major factors in my losing my mind lately.

I've had lower back pain since that procedure that's been debilitating and something feels very wrong inside my womb or uterus. Like scarring and pain or a foreign object in there or just something amiss inside since that procedure.

I was a citizen of Portland OR when it was done so I've got to remember the laws on experimentees, torture or whatever else could be different there.
I should have come back to Boston and had it done.

I could be chipped or any number of things to influence my behavior.

As of lately I can't fight the remote influence which has gotten really strong compared to years before. I feel the difference in intensity.

Lately I've been talking to myself a lot in public places partially due to the conditions of traveling alone and sleep deprivation but also becuz I am targeted frequently now by tech and perps in a way that makes it impossible to ignore the stimuli or to resist reacting.

The fact I don't have enuf buffer zone left to realize I'm reacting and prevent it shows me I'm different somehow compared to a short time ago.

The factors seem to be the stress and trauma of travelng with my last companion part of which was spending a lot of time in cities and towns while traveling and getting overt gang stalking while there, not resting in the trucker culture or shelters and having to ride greyhound and getting gang stalked while doing so which brought up past trauma from years ago like MILAB in 2007 or 8 on a Greyhound bus.
Also having to dedicate energy to dealing with him as well as his presence somehow seeming to make my reactions to bring gang stalked very volatile.

Exposure to Fukishima radiation on the west coast by staying a year instead of my usual few months last year. This also included pollution from Mexico in Ocean Beach San Diego area and that microwave tower in Hillcrest as well as various other environment stressors unique to experimentees and their families.

The stress of a colonoscopy on the road last year I didn't take enuf time to heal from.

The tribal street scene of my long time home base of Harvard Sq basically being destroyed by powers that be.

Not being able to return to my second home, California and the south west and that also includes the health benefits like being targeted  with less tech in west and the health benefits of drying out from further damaging mold exposure in other locations specifically Massachusetts.

Cities around the country chipping away at the traveling circuit with anti homeless and traveling laws (hitch hiking, truck stops etc).

Being on the west coast for a year exposed to Fukishima and dealing with traveling much rougher with less rest dealing with my traveling companion has made me visibly age more rapidly.

This phase of travel with him plus the colonoscopy then add the episode in Oregon-a relationship an abortion with mysterious complications and some sort of exposure to some thing really unhealthy in the house there my partner lived in. Plus staying thru the winter in MA this year.

Its all destroyed whatwver health I had preserved over the years of being gang stalked prior.

I never realized how healing and healthy California was and even the south west.

And I seem to have a pronounced lack of allies in Boston area now which I had maintained for years..

These factors all seem to have come together to create my weakened state. I'm losing my grip and there's not the places to run to for healing or lessened harasent there was before.


Anonymous said...

Haha, I don't think it really makes much difference, since reporters these days are so heavily controlled by the system, and the system is very alogorithmic with which they control everything and everyone.

They are hinting at something that I think we both know what it is. They are hinting that algorithms can control people better than personal intuition and the human element within.

Anonymous said...

Theoretical mathematicians that died way too early:

A radical Republican during the monarchy of Louis Philippe in France, he died from wounds suffered in a duel under questionable circumstances at the age of 20.

he made his discoveries while living in poverty and died at the age of 26.


Well, Abel did die of TB, but it's been said that his death, much like Galois', was questionable and the result of living in poverty. So maybe these two young men have suffered a deliberate fate that Telsa? Also, there is the subject of the movie Beautiful Mind.

Early in the film, Nash begins to develop paranoid schizophrenia and endures delusional episodes while painfully watching the loss and burden his condition brings on his wife and friends.

And schizophrenia has been used as an end (that is, an intended outcome) to many TI's, or as a label or both.

So mathematicians do get targeted, too, much like others.

I know math has been used extensively by people working in this system to predict outcomes, so it's a natural conclusion to expect that people having extensive math talents would be targeted to work for THEM, or suffer the fate of dying too soon.

Anonymous said...

i understand . what i try to do is think before reacting to ignoranuses, and try to make that a habit. i ask myself if i do this then this might happen,and is what may happen going to make my life better or worse. or is my valuable time even worth wasting on the manner. being a genious, you must not waste your knowledge,and energy on small minded arrogant personalities.

Anonymous said...

Maybe an example of a targeted black artist:

The documentary film Thelonious Monk: Straight, No Chaser (1988) attributes Monk's quirky behaviour to mental illness. In the film, Monk's son, T. S. Monk, says that his father sometimes did not recognize him, and he reports that Monk was hospitalized on several occasions due to an unspecified mental illness that worsened in the late 1960s. No reports or diagnoses were ever publicized, but Monk would often become excited for two or three days, pace for days after that, after which he would withdraw and stop speaking. Physicians recommended electroconvulsive therapy as a treatment option for Monk's illness, but his family would not allow it; antipsychotics and lithium were prescribed instead.
Monk had disappeared from the scene by the mid-1970s, and made only a small number of appearances during the final decade of his life.

So it could be that he was targeted or chased from the scene due to the organized crime elements that had pervaded the music industry around that time.

And it's interesting that "other" musicians have had great careers, who are arguably far less talented.

I'm not saying Billy Joel is less talented, but he obviously wasn't on Monk's level in terms of musicianship, and Joel is a pop music writer and not a pure piano soloist like Monk. however, Joel any many others like him, like Elton John, have had a seriously good career, and never really had any kind of barriers. Elton John didn't seem to have had any barriers at all, which is odd, considering that he is gay. A lot of gay artists seem to get targeted, but those are usually the real groundbreaking ones.

It's also amazing how many musicians that made it big were Jewish. And Phil Spector is one of them. Haha! He certainly was a genius of the crazy, fucked up variety.

Anonymous said...

People like Gary Glitter are a diversion, hung out for the hateful sheep as one reason to support organized stalking. The sheep are dumb and don't realize that hey, all that goes on with organized stalking relies on crimes by perpetrators being hidden, denied, and protected, a lot like, um yeah, pedophiles.

He is a victim of mass hate, and of course, rightfully deserved. But, people like that lead singer from Aerosmith don't even try to hide lusting after 15 year-old girls on a TV show, right in front of the public, and yet people still worship him.

There is really no difference in my mind between Steven Tyler and Gary Glitter. It's just that Glitter is just a tool to get rabid mobs frothing over child sex abuse, the same sex abuse the same sheeple support when they go along with organized stalking.

Basically, the sheep hate only whom they are "told" to hate. Everyone else is an angel, even if they too are pedos or supporting pedos.