Whatever was done to me in Portland OR last year during that abortion procedure is one of the major factors in my losing my mind lately.
I've had lower back pain since that procedure that's been debilitating and something feels very wrong inside my womb or uterus. Like scarring and pain or a foreign object in there or just something amiss inside since that procedure.
I was a citizen of Portland OR when it was done so I've got to remember the laws on experimentees, torture or whatever else could be different there.
I should have come back to Boston and had it done.
I could be chipped or any number of things to influence my behavior.
As of lately I can't fight the remote influence which has gotten really strong compared to years before. I feel the difference in intensity.
Lately I've been talking to myself a lot in public places partially due to the conditions of traveling alone and sleep deprivation but also becuz I am targeted frequently now by tech and perps in a way that makes it impossible to ignore the stimuli or to resist reacting.
The fact I don't have enuf buffer zone left to realize I'm reacting and prevent it shows me I'm different somehow compared to a short time ago.
The factors seem to be the stress and trauma of travelng with my last companion part of which was spending a lot of time in cities and towns while traveling and getting overt gang stalking while there, not resting in the trucker culture or shelters and having to ride greyhound and getting gang stalked while doing so which brought up past trauma from years ago like MILAB in 2007 or 8 on a Greyhound bus.
Also having to dedicate energy to dealing with him as well as his presence somehow seeming to make my reactions to bring gang stalked very volatile.
Exposure to Fukishima radiation on the west coast by staying a year instead of my usual few months last year. This also included pollution from Mexico in Ocean Beach San Diego area and that microwave tower in Hillcrest as well as various other environment stressors unique to experimentees and their families.
The stress of a colonoscopy on the road last year I didn't take enuf time to heal from.
The tribal street scene of my long time home base of Harvard Sq basically being destroyed by powers that be.
Not being able to return to my second home, California and the south west and that also includes the health benefits like being targeted with less tech in west and the health benefits of drying out from further damaging mold exposure in other locations specifically Massachusetts.
Cities around the country chipping away at the traveling circuit with anti homeless and traveling laws (hitch hiking, truck stops etc).
Being on the west coast for a year exposed to Fukishima and dealing with traveling much rougher with less rest dealing with my traveling companion has made me visibly age more rapidly.
This phase of travel with him plus the colonoscopy then add the episode in Oregon-a relationship an abortion with mysterious complications and some sort of exposure to some thing really unhealthy in the house there my partner lived in. Plus staying thru the winter in MA this year.
Its all destroyed whatwver health I had preserved over the years of being gang stalked prior.
I never realized how healing and healthy California was and even the south west.
And I seem to have a pronounced lack of allies in Boston area now which I had maintained for years..
These factors all seem to have come together to create my weakened state. I'm losing my grip and there's not the places to run to for healing or lessened harasent there was before.