Thanks for Your Service

Thanks for Your Service

TRANSLATOR

Blog DISCLAIMERS

Please be advised that this written work is theory. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. I have no actual belief in these theories as fact . If so I would've taken legal action by now. Until that occurs this blog can only be considered theorizing.
My prior disclaimer stated that I'm often sleep deprived when posting due to my lifestyle as a houseless Traveler (and my age as well as health issues). This should be taken into consideration when viewing my posts and vids on the connected YouTube channel. I am a writer who lives a challenging alternative lifestyle and it is MY RIGHT to do so. I claim my RIGHT TO EXIST legally under US Constitution and international law.

This is an educational blog for awareness as well as sometimes a telling of candid personal experiences to demonstrate theories as they might be experienced by a person who theoretically is existing under such conditions.
Being a reasonable person of sound mind if I had concerns for my safety or others I would take responsible action for self care as my established medical history can demonstrate.
Any other kinds of actions taken against me by others will be construed as intimidation and whistle blower retaliation and proper legal action will be taken against you by my family and support system.

Be warned no further interference with my production of meaningful work as an artist and activist will not be tolerated.

ALERT! New Series Of Posts Dealing With Urgent Issues

Please read these posts in a series created spread awareness of urgent issues to anyone perhaps looking for alternative theories for information.
------------------------
Random violence, lone wolves, people 'snapping':
http://ongangstalking.blogspot.com/2017/12/alert-and-warnings-post-1-potential.html
-----------------------
HEV aka 'blue light' over exposure from new LED street lights world wide; problems and solutions:
---------------------
Potential for abuse of genetic data bases and info gathering utilized for genetic warfare:

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Rest

Yes, I have a room tonite. I struggle, every day..why? becuz I am a targeted individual since 1996.
Its so strange that since Romney got into office in 2003 and Iraq was invaded that targets all over but in my case MA complain about thier targeting becoming unbearable.

Hmmm... came across Ann Romney's picture.It caught my eye... familiar. How so?

A little horrible brat came to the hostel in MO (run by a man from MA..an important man) to harass the shit out of me last month. You would not believe how rude she was. I put up w/ it becuz I am worn down and becuz she's only 21..I was obnoxious at that age as well.
While drunk one night in her Mr. Hyde phase, she told me her grandfather was an executive for some Detroit car corporation and her mother sent her to a Waldorf school, which after appearing miserable about it, she immediatley found something positive in it. Lets call her L.

She was all right at first as long as you put up with her crap, and she seemed to partially acknowledge the gangstalking, but wasnt kind about it, she herself having 'perp' behaviors.

So she looks just like Ann (Davies) Romney.The eyes are unmistakable, as well as the facial bones.
From wikipedia:
Bloomfield Hills consistently ranks as one of the top five wealthiest cities in the United States/. Ann Davies was born on April 16, 1949. Her father, Edward Davies, once served as part-time mayor of her hometown, Bloomfield Hills, Mich. She has two brothers, Jim and Rod./0. Ann and Mitt have 11 grandchildren.

The owner of the hostel had no prob w/ her awful behavior.
Her next phase of perpdom after gaining my trust was to , like everyone else who's the enemy in this, convince me in yet another, srictly perp initaited conversation, how wonderful drugs from psychiatrists are and later she would suggest pills from the doctor to 'make everything allright."

These are the most dangerous perps becuz they acknowledge what is happening to the target but seem to always eventually make the target feel bad somehow (she later stated that things would be better if I worked with the system a little more, really made me feel as if I was not handling being targeted well enough. this was a common theme at this complex.)
These are the perps who keep trying to get u into psychiatry when they are corrupt to begin w/. They also paint a picture of your life that consists of u having to learn to live with being a target and behave accordingly. These kinds of perps are NEVER outraged enough about what is happening to me or any other target for it to be healthy or normal.

Well, it seems Romney's family was in the auto industry. All one has to do is recall the horrors that Nader had to go thru when dealing with GM in order to realize 'gang stalking' and smear campaigns are a normal weapon in the corporate arsenal of the motor city crowd.

www.amxfiles.com/amc/romney.html: "George W. Romney, 88, a former secretary of the Department of Housing and Urban Development, governor of Michigan, chairman of American Motors Corp. and a contender for the 1968 Republican presidential nomination, died July 26 at his home in Bloomfield Hills,..."

So to this girl its her families m.o. probably. Also, the most obnoxious person in the world named Wayne lives there with his spacey(seemingly so anyway) wife..who never gets in trouble for anything and other residents alleged attempts to call child services or other organizations on him end in a big yawn from the city. L. seemed veery fond of and tolerant of this sexist peice of sh*it, but then again useless old drunks with some colorful schtick are often amusing to 20 yr olds.
He's a perp I suspect. Suspect is all I can do but when the perps passing through whisper stories about how clever it is that Wayne can seem so crazy 'off stage' and normal 'onstage' I was dealing with some kind of mind games. Either saying that in itself is a mind game or its true..one sane individual who came thru the hostel called the place purposfully anti-intellectual and described Wayne as a"human jammer" akin to a radio jammer. He babbles about really stupid stuff non stop and opne can tell its an act. L. would just sit there and smirk with her boyfriend as Wayne would torture me w/ incessant nonsense-especially at my birthday party which I knew would be nothing more than just perp entertainment but L insisted..of course.

I could not wait to get out of there. L had this ability to crush me with her presence, to take over the whole area and it was just too much considering how mean she was about the gangstalking.
Also, every perp who came thru there she was friendly with.
This one was nasty..know why its even creepier? becuz I discovered my suicide programming contained an old country song that was the trigger-I've been playing it over and over agian for all my life in my head finally it came up for play as a major command. I had to fight this sequence of commands with everything I had..why do u think perps are so not scary to me? Compared to programming things going on on the outside are easy..its the internal world that is frightening. (which would explain the dumb attempts at behavior modification, which are helping to destroy my internal structures and will only lead me to suicide anyway. these a*holes seem to be trying to save me from suicide programming without having me recall memories-covering thier asses. Its all been wiped anyway-whats to remember? and i am sure that the 'shes crazy" label is so being served right now by me being exhausted trying to write this, pissed off and all.

Now I am still trying to to deprogram all this time and I have to deal with what memories havent been wiped from stress and brain damage all by myself.
I barely function and instead of having peaceful last years I am forced to be cheap entertainment for a bunch of rich brats in the know. But what else was a mind control slave created for? These people are real assholes of the highest degree and I notice one theme is very consistent with the perps-always make the target feel like they are not talented or special or intelligent. It is of the utmost to keep the person handled.
A large part of the city of Boston looks like they are either bewildered or pissed I am still walking around.

Welcome to programming.

Looks like it was YOU who did not know what you were getting yourselves into. I will not stop telling or getting to the truth until I am dead and the stress of gangstalking kills me. I will not cease until I win or the balance has been restored. Human rights violations right under yer noses and u dont care.

What do you expect in this country where brats sit around watching "Gone baby gone" and such other representations of a world they readily judge but know little about. Why is it, that the little girl in that movie is damned..whatta you, a f*uckin fortune teller? The kid might grow up to be a great artist or writer or human rights activist...she may need to suffer to help others like her.
And let me tell you, just becuz its some civil servant with a nice home as foster care doesnt mean anything. You, as observer have NO idea what that guy does in private. She might have a better life with the screwed up party head mother-IF one is being realistic.
USING OBJECTIVE TRUTH TO MEASURE REALITY. Facts and research, not snobbery based on what we wish a happy world would look like if only cops and rich people rescued all the little children..give me a break. This is why targets and dying out here.. these kinds of movies shape your reality and yoiu dont even care or notice.

What happened to dimensions? The movie is so..flat. Christ/devil , good/bad. There is no result that is intimated except that at the end you and your fellow movie goers are suppoed to argue over how controversial it was and how the little girls life may turn out or may have turned out. I rarely encountered people coming up with real life endings, like she may grow as all creatures in nature grow-wiht scars from her wounds and an expectant healing through joining with your fellow man. This is obviosly what they do not want you to see.
Random chaos is the only true friend of the subjegated, the lost the abused. It provides true chance in a world wher everything MUST be controlled or it is a threat.

Let me tell you another alternate ending: how about she displays so much gift and talent that she become targeted by the gangstalking system. Then she will end up just how you'd expect its predicted except part of the process is hidden from the viewer..no matter. It ends how its managed to end anyway.
And ya never know..they may have had her programmed in that damn foster home so the little girl is doomed to jump from the freedom train anyway and if she wont..they will push her off.

Perhaps a simple white trash life where you know nothing and nothing is expected of you is better. I think its a luxury compared to my ending. They all look so happy-just to be. To Be. Or to be with thier families. How would you like to have to play intrigue with your own family all your life with a reward of nothing? No family name, no money, no title, no pride. Just secrets.
And no future, even if you want one.

When you are programmed you basically wake up to your own death. The worst part is nobody cares, nody wants to be honest. If they do they change up real quick becuz obviuosly they get approached.

I have been insulted enough-people need to stop handling me. I am not stupid-I see u coming believe me its jsut i have to pretend to be stupid sometimes to survive, sadly other times it sbraindamage from mold exposure, gassings, druggings-and i am sure that someone somewhere is just dying to tell me I need antipsychotics..what do I have toxoplasmosis? You cant treat what the targeting has done to me with pills from the psych establishment. of course if u persist in trying to cover your asses, yes, that would be what you would do. I have been waaay to exploited and people to cruel and viscous to me for this to be a problem with just me.

I am going to publish this..even though its all over the place, rambling and low quality becuz i need to. in case somehthing happens i need to know some info is out there. i still do not believe anyone cares..as a matter of fact i beleive people are jsut waiting for me to finish flailing and its over. no more worry about that annoying 'problem' Rachel.
Beauty talent, intel potential all ruined. This is Americas dirty little secret. Other countries are correct -this is a satanic culture.

Journal for yesterday: last nite i spent at a Cambridge wet shelter where staff was nice to me but when all the drunks and druggies woke up they had this campaign of coming over to the couch and coughing right on me..like leaning down into the couch where they let me sleep. Well, its prob informant central in that place, plus Cambridge has a major guilt trip for what they did-or they simply consider me dead woman walking..a cop just looked away today..as if he had any fuckin right to considering. One day u will be very old or you'll have an accident or chemical exposure which will make youget brain damage and you may deprogram..I've seen the old cops. You can see the ptsd going over thier eyes scene after scene..over and over again. How else could u deal with the realities of what goes on?

My grandmother told me to stay out of Cambridge and Brookline becuz if I didnt "it will simply be a war back and forth"..to this day I still have no idea what she was infering or refering to but i simply took it in as a clue but not as truth. Why, if there was something so severe going on did they not help me, expose me to some legal advise or explain the situation fully? becuz as i sensed then is what is written out in fact in a solved case now..they were full of sh*t and handling me.
After I put my name on a gangstalking activism group and started doing conference calls
months later i call my grandmother, keeping what i've been doing in a seperate file of course, and she just goes in the opposite direction all by herself. I revealed nothing to her. I told her it was organized crime and politley hung up. ------------

I just had the worst flashback of a cloudy thin veil between states where I faintly remember me saying robotically to my grandmother "grandma, i take my clothes off for money" refering to my newfound art modeling career, which i had no reason to be ashamed of. Then in a fully awake state moments later i wouldnt tell her what i was doing for a new job and she said something about 'you wouldnt need a bathrobe' or ' you wouldnt be afraid to tell me what your doing " or somehting shameful as a set up in a normal sort of tone and then really dark and mean: "unless you were tatking your clothes off"...in front of people or for a living ..i forget. That is one of the original breaks in alterted states where i realized what i was. It also realized to my lifelong fear that i should not trust my family.

I wish i imagined all this. U do not understand how tired i am or how i want to rest or die to rest i am so exhausted, but my system is conviced there is something worth fighting for. personally i believe what it really is is just the last burst of energy left in the system. I could have had a nice and full life but it seems the perps and the gs system would prefer i burn myself out which is really what i am doing.
if i thought that getting labeled would save me from the harssment i woulda done it by now. If i hadnt come out of programming so far that i cannot go back to a life of compartmentalization i would buy into the lie, the sleep. but i cannot will not lie. besides, with everyone haviing this horrible habit of thinking and acting like they are smarter than me, really the world leaves me little choice.
other people got paid off with great favors for helping to perp me or put me down and i am offered a label and the mere promise of low income housing for those sufficiently labled(awwww, a little spot on the shelf for me so they can put me in my place-away and safe from the eyes of an increasinlgy aware curious public. DONT---MOTHAF*CKIN---THINK___SO... .. .)

I am not naive.. i know the world stopped 'watching' in the late '90s. but the stragglers..MmmMm. ...-...-.The curious. They'll always be eyes to see . always be people who want to think and get out of the damn matrix. Warning however.
there aint nothing out here but condemnation.
----------------------------------------------
what i am doing serves no other purpose but to warn others waking up and perhaps add to testimonies of others. It would be easy enough to wipe all this out if it served thier purposes beleive me. I feel people like me and myself are either entertatinment for the public, our death is a ritual in itself or the A-holes that Be have some purpose in letting this become common knowledge now. They would never allow the internet to exist the way it does if it was not to lead to much in the way of exposure of hidden things. The reason alot of mc survivors are surviving is becuz of the internet.

-------------- another thing that still chills me about my mother is her saying to me " i'm very interested in the way your mind works" which is sick to the maximum becuz that means my programming breaking down was prob on purpose from the mold exposure and now i feel i have to 'tell' to save my life.
She knew..or one of her alters knew. The ultimate power trip. Yet after all is said and done not only is she just another victim but she and every other perp was only able to pull any of this off becuz they are cowards using superior knowledge against me.
NooOot faaaaiiir.

Its akin to trying to murder someone hooked up to a machine in a coma in intensive care. oh, u r soo brave.
u r an assasin and thats all u r. Like the rest of us u performed a function. there is nothing creative or willful about what any perp does. its degrading to see such peoploe have ultimate control over me when really i would prefer to be councelling, drawing and volunteering.

You realize of course u never get off the list. Its down and then out and then its over. read my other entries, these people are inhumanly heartless and u r nothing but a target, an old mc survivor that needs to 'go' or you are to be labeled or modified/silenced in some other way so that lies will rule your life again for the rest of your life-just after u fought so hard to find out what really happened. the perps are programmed in some way..there is no fighting that.

No one is ever going to respond to me anyway..the policy with me is to ignore me. I have 0 credentials and there are a line up of people prob waiting to agree i am nuts. i can see.. i can feel they are juuuust waiting for me to burn out and finally fall. No one (excpet the occasooinal perp-who-cares. arent they great? they have all the real info as well.) is ever going to admit to what is really going on becuz that is how i am being handled every damn day and they kinow its destroying me every damn day..peoples disregard for logic and fact is downright painful to me.

i am done for now.. all i can say is its a little strange to have that girl come to the hostel and act like such a jerk..knowing whats up with the gagnstalking as well.
well, if everone REALLY wants peace dont come after me..stop covert war. stop letting people get targeted with technologies that make them sick or crazed.
if there were no disease or enviro allergy i doubt if violence would still exist on the earth.

something perverse in me..makes me happy to think that the crazed eyes of some wealthy perp onlooker who doesnt even know why he or she hates me is caused by brain lesions, parasitic disease, chemical exposure, or programming and inside perhaps they are miserable...still miserable. I am not miserable-I only burn, every day. And soon I shall burn up like coming into the atmosphere and I will evaporate. No more suffering, no more waiting.

I have this rather pleasant perp suspect in my life. I am not enjoying however being mirrored with Galial Gibran is it even worth spelling right anyway?) As a kid in the 70's I thought it was crap and I still do. This is a perp tactic..what he's doing is making me feel bad about the pre comming out phase/work i was doing in my apartment when they slammed me. He also knows that this is a constant reminder of 'we can see you, we saw u' thus wer get to judge you bullshit. untrue. becuz i have never been shown any video anything..i've heard perps whisper of such a thing but its thier JOB to misinform a target. why should i belive in something that shouyld not exist anyway. I dont recall signing a model release. If there is a video lets see where its origins come from so i can sue or worse, and find out who is responsible. who gives a shit? really? My deprogramming is soooo much more important than some smear campaign where obviously now my ex has become a propaganda writer for the ass*oles. Not that I have set eyes on that either.. one skinny perp bitch from Scottland at the hostel came right up to my face and jsut walke dby and said nothing but the word "grace"..do u think i care? who cares who they get to do their dirty work so i cant get hypnotized and remember names faces places...i jsut hope he's happy. he looks too damn skinny and he looks like he's a piece of industry shit now. The man i knew is dead..let it be so. This is the way its played and thank god.whatever i have some guidance.
There are so many more stories but its all the same. Lets keep u in a prison of guilt and confusion.
I am not going to feel bad about a period of my life where not only was I deprogramming, fighting 3 layers of suicide programming, being exposed to mold and targeted with technologies I was being gangstalked by foot soldiers as well aannd I sought help from therapists, psychologists who's aggression consisted of negligence. Not doing anything to help me.

Understand that the people involved in this are extremely selfish..i can and always sense that Jake is not only protected by someone but that the ultimate result is that I let him go emotionally, which i would have loved to have done had i not been railroaded..but that would've consisted of me moving on to something better not everyone putting ME down.

Its no that i couldnt have done better thatn all the peopel i used to know but it wasnt meant to be that way. the people doing this have power you dont want to know about..lets say the whole society is managed and privacy is just an illusion. The idiots they sent after you might possibly..possibly, be programmed psychics. They are really nasty and they dont seem to waiver from their purpose. I cant fight that..not for this damn long.

Believe me or not I stand by my story of the gassing on the bus a few weeks ago. One can only stand so much of that as a reality. And in TN the perps saying 'she's JUST a target'...its not normal natural or healthy. Its covertly violent and anyone who wants to be part of that must still have thier programming intact or the ability to be deprogrammed. I cannot do that nor will I.
And this whole program of deception and behavior modification is just ridiculous.
Do you honestly believe someone is going to whixk me back to the potential I had years ago? Do u think my enemies old and new are going to apologize? These assholes are group thinkers who actaully believe that every tribe needs a sacrifice. That is ancient ritualistic behavior and its unalterable as far as I can see.

Maybe Georgie's new world order will get them to behave..no more "law of the jungle'..if it punishes my enemies or makes people stop ruining brilliant minds and uncharted potential..or even just stops thme from hurting an mc survivor who's trying to heal.. i am all for it.

if i cant have life why should anyone else...ooh, thats right. u really dont have your own lives according to your own will.
you obey fear and authority like whipped dogs..see how much it has taken them to beat me down?
Most of you went belly up at the mere suggestion of punishment for no compliance.
Or you bought into the perfect blackmail system-get everyone pissed at the target and then a takedown is easy..everyone wants to see it happen.

why was i targeted since 1996 when i was doing so well? why was i targeted since 1996 when i was doing so well?
Why was i targeted since 1996 but only slammed in 2003?

My suggestion is obey yer suicide programming, becuz its meant to protect you against assh*les like the ones who are destroying me now. If you want to get a bit of revenge for being handed the lottery ticket as sacrifice then stick arounf, cost them money and drive them nuts...but its going to hurt and they will make sure you have no comforts. you will break down physically , emotionally and mentally and psychically you will become powerless. They will destroy your inner world and turn your beautiful inner structures into ruins.
You'll become basically a damaged machine that is so angry/energized it just keeps on running..in limbo. becuz you are made angry everyday and never allowed to express anger you will have it running thru your veins but it isnt natural for us to be this way especially for so long with no rest period or regeneration period.

The mental and emotional torture is not worth it.. i simply remain becuz i was fucked over so royally by a huge group of frightened, hiding cowards that truth is my only revenge.

Remember if u blog the perps wil use it or get off on it prob. but..they hate exposure so go for it.


No comments: