After I got framed in 2016 I went seeking safety. I picked someone up dusted them off and made something out of them I never trusted them 100% however. Things were okay for many years especially since I had a sponsor helping me (Pam if you're out there thank you for getting me through those tough years I just wish I wasn't with someone who basically cost me most of my money). I was young and attractive still.
Even though this person that I got attached to seemed difficult and controlling it was obvious it was due to a lot of medical issues. In order for the person to stay with me it was conditional that they get some of their medical issues treated right away just to stabilize the situation. After that The medical system we were involved in just ditched us and I couldn't take care of My companion as well as my sick parent and myself still trying to rotate between Urban camping and hotel rooms and even though I can pinch a dime out of a penny I feel like I've done it for absolutely nothing all these years other than helping my mother.
My companion has turned on me and I am very isolated and aalone. I'm really not allowed to talk to anybody and all these years I've got nothing but crap from trying to talk to people in coffee shops to family members to using Facebook. Slowly I become isolated. And this person has branched out and how has all these acquaintances and friends.
I Don't think this person could be trusted to begin with. However now it's clear that they fully turned on me. They first started to really misbehave and act aggressive after the money ran out in 2022 and my ever patience ever helpful sponsor ddisappeared. I warned my companion did I had less resources and more responsibilities because I had a parent who had a stroke after me having to take care of that that parent every surgery which she had multiple over many years time since I was back in touch with them.
My companion seemed to understand but it was all just a smoke screen. Then I even subjected myself to living in a completely inappropriate place where I appreciate an older gentleman helping us out who has a home that we stayed in but My companions long time friend his son was into drugs and we never should have lived there because he was abusive to me and even to him. And after that that's when things change ccompletely. I'm now being ignored I'm being gaslighted constantly that he does absolutely nothing wrong and is absolutely nothing wrong with him. And I'm even being gaslighted into the fact that I'm mental I just laugh at but the problem is is that this might actually work.
I'm in menopause and in menopause I wish somebody had told me that The aging of your face aaccelerates very quickly which I was not prepared for.
All these years I could have been taking care of my skin I didn't have any face cream I wasn't taking care of myself all because I was working really hard for us because I believed in our ffuture.
I think at some point as I got old I lost sight of the fact that I couldn't trust this person and that was foolish.
They've done so many embarrassing things and been so rrude now it's come to the chopping block. Now I'm isolated and alone in a relationship with a person wants to get away from me everyday as much as possible they make me do all the work they sneakily spend their money on stupid stuff when they're not around me whine about having to spend any money at all in the relationship and they make me do everything of course this is all to make sure that I can't free myself up from the relationship and get on my own. They also keep promising me if they going to do what they have to do with that medical stuff and I've seen nothing but them trying to get out of iit ever since they decided to turn on me.
Unless I'm in an area where people know me and I'm the one has a history there this person acts as if I've already lost and I have absolutely no Hope it all.
There are a few people that know what's going on but most people ddon't and I think that a lot of his friends and acquaintances are probably people that don't like me very much. It's like he's being rewarded for being a handler.
Don't you love when somebody won't even let you touch their phone even for a practical reason but then they go through your phone whenever the hell they feel like it I'm getting really tired of all of this.
This is exactly what happened to me with my boyfriend that tried to frame me up for some drugs he got caught with back in the early 2000s.
Like an idiot I stayed with him even though I was trying to get rid of him because I'm a stand by your man kind of pperson then you shouldn't leave somebody in a crisis well now I realize that if you can't trust them you should because they're just going to use you so I told my boyfriend to go into 12 step meetings because it would make his case look better. What's the first thing do you think that happened in those meetings? Every person that hated my guts or had something against me or wanted to come after me for whatever the reasons are political friends of friends , me being targeted people that my family has pissed off whatever it is-they basically just abducted him the second he went into the meetings. They grabbed him and they just turned him against me. And I have to learn that this is what the system does.
There was always something strange about the person I'm with now though. People almost seem to be shaking his hand years aago I thought it was very strange that a lot of people were patting him on the back.
One reason I couldn't trust him was that and I should have stuck with that.
I definitely should have gotten out of this years ago. but it seem like I was in control of the situation.
I am so nervous now and I am so menopausal that I've taken to talking my way through sstuff when I'm out because I can't handle being nervous anymore like I used to. Ladies you have no idea how much estrogen makes life livable in this world until you don't have it anymore.
And they're probably trying to say that I'm not because I'm doing that kind of stuff.
So the person I thought was going to be supportive is now probably the worst thing I have going.
I worked really hard to make something out of my blog and I worked really hard all those years traveling and I deserve respect.
Years ago I got that respect even from my companion. I don't expect him to be involved in my activism or my bblog but now he's specifically picking on it saying that I'm a joke it's a joke and he's even calling it a cult.
Well he certainly didn't call it those things when he was getting $2,000 a month out of it of My money that I was ggetting.
I'm going to get out of this just like I get out of everything and I'm going to get back on top where I bbelong and no amount of nobodies they're not happy smart as I am are going to gang up on me and take me down. The problem here is that I'm being taken down softly and quietly. Nobody's like framing me and dragging me off like they did in 2016. Everyone's being sneaky.
I don't mind associating with people who don't really know what my blog is about or know that I do my blog or if they do they don't mention it but I don't like being around people who think that they're smarter than me and I don't even know what the blog is about but they're going to help hold me hostage?
The level of human being that I have had to deal with in the last 5 years is a complete moron who's local because uunfortunately staying with my companion I've had to stay in one place for too long and that's also been my undoing. It's given the local community a sense of control over me which I never wanted that to happen.
Basically many years ago I had townies started telling me that my blog was a place where it seemed I talked a lot of shit about people on there. This is what these people think of it? I think the problem here as I'm being surrounded by local people that are iidiots cuz I haven't traveled and stayed among my own element which is the colleges and people outside of the system or people that have enough money to not be part of the system. And I think these people have become really comfortable with this handler and sort of depending on him to deal with me and keep me down and then they can just be satisfied that they're somehow in on it when they're not even smart enough to understand the blog at all.
I'm getting really fucking tired of this.
I was an idiot to take this person on to begin with The person has made it so I can't pay attention to my mother I should have taken all that money and paid for stuff from my mother and me not for this person. Every single time I help somebody I always end up creating a monster who just turns on me or doesn't appreciate what I do for them. My parent is also obnoxious but at least she's my parent and I have an obligation to take care of her.
Once your parents are gone that's it.
But this is what happens from being framed. I was so desperate for security that now it's become a fucking pprison. I never get to do anything to do with my blog because I swear this idiot keeps me busy all the time by making sure he doesn't have to do anything.
This is going to change pretty soon I'm not going to keep putting up with this. Either things go the way that I planned or it's very easy for me to just finish up my business and leave.
I'm not going to stay around people that don't believe in what I'm doing. All the system is doing now is using all these idiots to neutralize me. So basically it's not set out loud but basically everyone is greased that I'm crazy and out of my mind and I'm a loser and I'm a jerk he Even told me that everyone around Harvard says I'm an aasshole.
I think I've had enough of this crap and I think I've sacrificed this crap long enough.
The person doesn't even tell me about their life anymore they don't even share anything with me anymore. Why do they pay out thousands of dollars. I thought it was an investment and I didn't mind when I was going to get some kind of payoff on my iinvestment. But now that I'm weak and I'm in menopause and I'm getting old and my face doesn't look good anymore this person thinks they can just walk all over me and do whatever they want.
I didn't invest in this so I could get this as a result. No one's going to waste my fucking time like this.
I didn't travel all those years so that somebody can make sure that I don't write my book and I just slave for them all the time.
If I want that I'll go be around my parent all the time she's enough of a pain in the ass. But at least her I understand there's a reason she's the way she is and I am obligated to take care of her since she took care of me.
They don't tell you about perimenopause when your traveler or when you're homeless. The doctors didn't even test correctly or take care of iit The medical care when your homeless is horrible it's like they want you to die. Now I'm in menopause nobody told me about this either.
I know one thing I don't want to do now that I'm in menopause waste my time with a bunch of fucking people who are my enemies.
