Feeling Regretful and Suffering From 'Moral Injury'

 Post menopause life seems to be more about focusing on death than a future.. 

My death, my relatives deaths. It's a drastic change from the arrogance of many choices or endless opportunities when a female can still produce children. It's not about motherhood or these long held ideas about women. To be honest being in this body has been strange because the world actually keeps a lot of information that should be available secret from women or ignorant of it as to what being female entails.

Feminism is total garbage and it's purpose is solely to manipulate..it takes advantage of women's reactions to the way we are treated or understood then it's used to manipulate and oppress everyone not just females.

It's amazing to me as it has become apparent just how much hormones, pheromones and chemicals generally rule over humanity and life on earth.

 As far as I can tell we don't really know what the hell we are doing especially when we are full of hormones. This is why putting young people in charge of our country has been disasterous especially a generation of humans so seperated from the natural world and normal human interaction.

It's become a terrible place where people believe they are doing the right things while they systematically make things worse, forget about people, care less about people and things and become blind to the real issues that need attention. A new world order is not necessary a better place to live. 

Everything is haunting me. The regrets because there's no estrogen to say 'we'll move  on to the next thing and the next place and go on' especially when your face, skin and muscles are present to help get you there. 

Moral injury is when you suffer greatly because you did not do something that you should have done and the opportunity is gone.  Act more quickly to save a life or respond differently or take/not take an action.

The road in front of me has stopped. 

However I have to note that this really started after the last election and also I notice these horrible feelings disappear during Clear Days so I'm trying to remember that it may not be....genuinely what I and the natural world would be feeling.