I cant take this much longer. Its like someone wants me to confess everything I know with names. Even my disclosures here seem to get me relief. Also, my other blog with info about programming and mind control gets me relief. I get this 'I have done a good job' feeling whenever I post and its revealing. Why is it so important for this system to torture info out of certain targets?
I wonder if this is part of the behavior modification or just to get info out of people. Or just experimentation to prove that is works.
I recall in St Louise, and I know I have blogged about this, I experienced something akin to what would be waterboarding like torture to get info.. except it was done via helicopter. It came when I was sleeping on a couch. I was in a half sleep, then over me came a feeling that I was extremely nauseous, and finally that I was going to die. Since I was going to die anyway, the ideation noted, why don't I just reveal what was I really up to ( in other words I cant recall but that was the gist).
What was I thinking, feeling or my motives, deep deep down. Well, all they got was a visual of that dead spy in bed, who basically warned all other programmed people that there was going to be a coming after us all. (yes, we have the ability to understand things through each other that I suppose others don't know or don't get). That there was going to be a little housecleaning. My main objective or prime directive was just to stand up for all of us, or deal with that trying to get rid of us all. Then my other motive that I 'showed' them was a visual of my family, and with the words " I want who is really responsible"..of course I meant for selling me out. Those closest to me.
That was it really...and who ever was in that 'copter...reading someone is a two way street, and the impression I received was akin to a pilot who had seen a UFO and knew better than to go back to base with that story. It was like the person in that helicopter was going to leave and say he found nothing.. or else maybe I wasn't to be believed becuz they didn't hear and see what they wanted for their purposes.
There are other wondrous things that could be done at that time..like in NV or NM, at the border there was this huge structure that the bus went through. It seemed to be able to get you to 'confess' what was deepest in your mind or what you were guilty about most, what you were hiding.
This is almost like what it feels like always everyday. It is like as a person I am now hooked into something where I cant hide what i am thinking, where I am 'read' all the time. All I know is its burning out my system, my mind and my emotions. Its destroying who I am as a person.. I suspect that is the motivation.
As far as I am concerned I have been so mistreated that I am happy to divulge the kind of shit that has been done to me. I hope they have to rebuild something or get made by the enemy...they deserve it.
Why is this country so f*cked right now? In a post I found there are these comments where people are saying shit that sounds like the whole country is being brought down on purpose for some insane God crap...that we are all one. Its very very self righteous bs. Basically a few commenters, and I have seen this before, are saying that THEY and their messed up group are going to let the country and certain people get taken down...then the PERPETRATORS OF those actions will have to pay. Very arrogant, very much 'we are on Gods team'. I have met some of these types in passing and I just wonder if they are not mind control drones ....dare I say of some insane vision of a new world. They have a belief system and no logic..they feel special. They act like they have inside info as to what is transpiring. And they always have to mention God. And its all about taking down the system...they also seem to know what is happening to me and coddle me or handle me. They do not like me mentioning that I dislike hardcore Christians around me.
I know little mind control victims when I see them. And hear them. Cult mc..same old story.
I am so sick of the wackos, the cult kids, the idiots, the sadists--its never anyone who can really think for themselves. And if you do have an intelligent conversation with them, you sense they are faking it...but I am among that population now anyway.
I think there was a time years ago before I got destroyed that I had a future somewhere if not here, where I could have been happy and around the people that I would have liked to have been around.
I am being made to feel that this is all temporary and things will change. But I am out of shape and old and my face is sagging now. I had a right to the remnants of my youth and my talents and my mind. No one should have taken those away...what is happening is that its the same idea as INSEX.com. Ultimately whoever is doing this still wants a submissive..out of sexual torture. A happy compliant idiot, a born again mind controlled slave, except without the compartmentalization. A total perversion of the True Self....except with no perversions at all that are sexual or pleasure related.
Its like perverting who a person really is with purity. The making of a true slave.....reducing the person to the point of being happy just to serve or be a nothing. Beating them down until they expect nothing in life except that.
Now everyone should know that I will never let that happen. I will never give in. I am not now and never was a 'true' submissive or dominant. I was always a person with different sides to my personality. Why is it so important to choose to cut me down to being submissive?
Why is that encouraged, once again with this fake 'God presence' feeling that is especially male. That conveniently leaves me as I get outside the city limits... that stops at 12 midnight approx, that lets up in the train underground, that ceases in safe buildings like hospitals..
Can you see now why tech is so dangerous? To be able to go into someones mind to see what they are thinking and what is their most deep desire or motive...to see what is their deepest guilt they are carrying.
To try to convince them that God is abusing them and making it 'ok' so one should go along and become whatever this force wants one to become...convenient how its a docile submissive female who no longer thinks or has passions, or believes in herself any more.
If you treat people like animals....if you make submission pleasurable after beating someone down, if you reduce someones intel to below average, if you invite a portion of the nation in on it for whatever their reasons...
this is a dangerous use of technology.
This is the capacity for abuse. To keep slaves, to destroy and try to remake people. To control and rule..
All the conspiracy theories about a NWO... it doesn't seem to far off.
Didn't Bill Gates say that human intelligence is nothing special and that it can be replicated...which he of course will do someday. A huge network, an interconnected mind, that we will all be part of --a box in every living room.
We have come into an era where only certain people are going to be allowed access to life..or perhaps only certain people will be denied access to life. But there is obviously some kind of tech that helps with that.
I have already illustrated what exists as far as spying on peoples innermost.
The only reason I even believe my own story is that its too close to what they use for waterboarding..the description was too similar.
I assume I am simply supposed to be satisfied with this denial of life. That I should get to know my place and stay that way.
This is not GOD, this is whoever doesn't want me to talk about
1) my story with names
2) mind control and my recent experiences
3) trauma based mind control and programming/ any memories recovered.